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AIBU?

To be mildly concerned at school putting girl's knickers on DS1 after a toilet accident?

133 replies

RachelWatts · 15/09/2014 21:23

DS1 is 5.4 and just started Y1.

Despite being dry in the day for quite a while, he has recently started wetting himself - I suspect a UTI so will be booking him a GP appointment tomorrow.

After apparently having an accident at school, someone gave him a pair of girl's knickers. They are pale pink with a picture of a cute dalmation on.

Normally I wouldn't mind - they're only pants - but he had an after school sports club which meant he had to get changed in front of his classmates, some of whom would not hesitate to point it out and ridicule him.

Even worse - his own wet pants are nowhere to be found. DS1 thinks the TA might have put them in another child's bag by mistake. Mortified!

OP posts:
NickNacks · 15/09/2014 21:26

Did you send him with spares in his book bag? Considering his recent increase in accidents I'm presuming you did so maybe ey just couldn't find them.

Passmethecrisps · 15/09/2014 21:26

What else could they have done? Nothing bad happened - pop spare pants in his bag next time. No issues

DancingDinosaur · 15/09/2014 21:26

The pink pants were obviously all they had. I wouldn't be particularly fussed about it at his age. I'd probably keep quiet about the wet pants going missing Grin

Myhusbandishardwork · 15/09/2014 21:26

I think its better to have knickers on than no underwear at all. The school im guessing wont have a good range of spare clothing.

If your son has started wetting himself then i would make sure he had a bag on his peg which is clearly label with spare clothing in.

Passmethecrisps · 15/09/2014 21:26

Oh yeah! The lost wet knicks Grin

Just brazen that one out

Permanentlyexhausted · 15/09/2014 21:28

Well, I guess they hand out whatever pants they have to hand. I can see it would be horrid if other people then saw and teased him though. Perhaps you could send a spare pair in for him (in a bag to hang on his peg or to keep in his PE kit bag) in case of future accidents?

greensnail · 15/09/2014 21:29

Dd1 came home in spare boys pants a couple of times, I just sent in some girls knickers for them to keep as spares for the class (I didn't want to send her with her own spares as I didn't want her to think I was expecting her to have an accident).

LadyLuck10 · 15/09/2014 21:30

I'm sure their concern was getting him a pair of underpants than thinking of him being laughed at. Have you sent extra clothes? I don't see that they did anything wrong.

threepiecesuite · 15/09/2014 21:32

DD has occasional accidents at school (still not dry at night at 4.5)
I've put spare knickers in her PE bag which stays in school.

Floggingmolly · 15/09/2014 21:32

Why aren't you sending him in with his own spares? They obviously just used what they had, what did you expect them to do? Confused

LapsedTwentysomething · 15/09/2014 21:33

Surely to goodness they would have a spare pair of boys' pants and the sensitivity to use them. I would hope this is thoughtless and unintentional but they should appreciate the potential for humiliation, particularly on top if the wetting.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/09/2014 21:33

When I was 6 I had an accident at school and was sent home in boys y fronts

mooth · 15/09/2014 21:34

It's not really very important, is it?

Aeroflotgirl · 15/09/2014 21:34

No biggie really, I wasn't traumatised .

Primafacie · 15/09/2014 21:35

I can't see what the fuss is over 'girl' knickers. DD wore boys' undies for all of reception because she was obsessed with dinosaurs. No one batted an eyelid.

septemberbirthstonesapphire · 15/09/2014 21:35

I think there's a difference between a girl in boys pants and a boy in girls.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 15/09/2014 21:36

Hi TA here.

Obviously you look for boys/girls pants in an accident but it's not a shop! It's a school and there are
only so many spare pairs to be had.

I have had to give girls boys pants and visa versa. They can't go without. Grin

The wet ones may be still on the toilet floor In a bag, or your ds may have lost them changing for footie.

After school activities arnt supervised by TAs as most are only paid until 3.
Don't overthink this op it happens all the time, so put a spare pair on his peg and don't worry.
Hope he is sorted soon but honestly it's par for the course at 5.

Tauriel1 · 15/09/2014 21:37

When I worked in a school, it was common for the spare pants given by school to never be returned. They were probably the only ones they had left.

ILovePud · 15/09/2014 21:38

Your poor DS, hope he didn't get teased. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that was all they had, perhaps they had a run of boys having accidents that day. My little boy often used to get sent home from nursery in girls' clothes (floral jeans not full on frilly dresses) I used to wonder whether they did it to make sure I didn't take a liking to them and pinch them! I had sent spares in for him btw but they kept going astray.

jackstini · 15/09/2014 21:39

This happened to DS - it was at nursery but he was 4.6 so not much difference in age. He can't remember now if it's any consolation.
Agree it was awkward re after school activity
Def make sure he has some spares in his bag just in case

CalamitouslyWrong · 15/09/2014 21:39

Why is there a difference between a boy in girls' pants and a girl in boys' pants? DS2 had been put in girls' pants after accidents at nursery/school (one or both, can't remember). I didn't think to worry. He just laughed about having to wear knickers because there was nothing else.

Once during toilet training at nursery they had to put him in a skirt because they'd completely run out of spare trousers in his room (and he'd exhausted the spares I'd sent in). I thought it was pretty funny rather than anything else.

GiveTwoSheets · 15/09/2014 21:40

I can't help but think my DS would of been mighty impressed having a pair of pink pants/knickers with picture on.

Would you of preferred it if he had to get change with no pants on at all or left him in wet pants?

Perhaps send in spares in future or donate some obviously school are short of spare clothes

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SoonToBeSix · 15/09/2014 21:41

My ds got sent home from nursery in hot pink tracksuit pants last week . He is only two and had a big smile in his face when I picked him up.

ContentedSidewinder · 15/09/2014 21:42

I have worked in a school and we even sharpied in massive writing that these pants belonged to the school, and yet we don't get them back. Why a parent would keep pants with the school name emblazoned on them is anybody's guess.

So if you have a girl and boys pants are all they have, then that is what they are given.

As a lovely gesture, if children grow out of pants, please donate them to the school.

PandasRock · 15/09/2014 21:42

I'm not sure I could raise the energy to be bothered about my ds coming home from school in girls' pants.

I would raise merry hell if he had been teased about it though (which he wasn't, I don't think, from your OP?) as I do think that children have the right to choose whatever colour/pattern they like for their pants!

Surely what is needed from pants is:

cover your bottom
be clean
be the right size.

The colour and/or picture makes no difference whatsoever.

And no, I don't think there is a difference between a girl in boys' pants and a boy in girls' pants.

Their willies aren't going to drop off if they wear pink pants for an afternoon, ffs.

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