2 ds's went to stay with exH and his new gf recently, first time he has seen them since christmas and ds1 was really looking forward to it.
Came back on saturday and got their clothes out of their bags to put them away as I assumed they were clean but literally eveything they took with them to his dad's stinks of smoke including the tablet case, all the clothes and the rucksacks they took them in. I am not a smoker so I know the smell is from there. Aibu to be annoyed? Its not so much the smoke smell and the fact that I now have to wash/febreze everything they took with its the fact that that means either exH or his gf or both have been smoking in the house around my dc's, which obviously I am not happy about! She has 2 daughters so I assumed they wouldnt smoke in the house but as all their stuff stinks I am guessing they do! I know IWU to suggest they cant smoke in their own house but Im really not happy about them smoking around my dc's - should I say anything for future trips or should I just leave it?
Also, exH told me that he couldnt help me pay for the train fare to go and pick them up from his (other end of the country so v. expensive and time consuming trip for me!) and he also couldnt drop them off with me because he could only take 9 days off work (instead of the 2 weeks he has originally planned and promised to have them for) and would therefore only be able to take them half way and leave straight away to get home for work.
I wasnt especially happy but agreed as ds1 was desperate to see his dad and I didnt want to be seen as difficult so I agreed to pay for my own ticket and pick them up early.
He had told me he couldnt afford to help me with the cost of the train ticket because he needed all his wages (after rent etc) to pay for day trips out with the dc's. So again, I said ok as I wanted the boys to have a good time and he went on to detail all the things he was planning to do with them during their stay.
As it transpires, they didnt go on any day trips at all so he obviously wasnt using money on them.
I also found out that after he dropped the kids off he then spent 2 days with his gf at a mutual friends who live down the road before heading home so he had 2 extra days he could have spent with the boys at least and he lied to me so he could drop them off early!
Aibu to be really annoyed? I dont know whether or not to say anything, as there is nothing I can do about it now but I'm just so pissed off that a) he lied about using his money to take the boys out and has presumably spent it on himself b) he purposely lied to me so he could drop the boys off early and spend extra days at a friend's house c) he has obviously been smoking around them.
I'm also slightly concerned that he has started smoking weed again - he smoked it when we were together and was pretty much addicted to it, it is partially responsible for having some SS involvement which is still ongoing. He assured me he had given up but given the SS involvement if he has started smoking weed again the boys wont be able to visit him again.
AIBU and over the top or overly paranoid about the weed issue? Should I say anything about it to him?
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AIBU?
to be pissed off with exH lying and smoking around the dc's (sorry, long!)?
4 replies
extremepie · 01/09/2014 15:51
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