To ask you to share positive stories about small age gaps...

[Keepontrudging]

I am positing here mainly for traffic. Sorry if this offends anyone!
I am due dc2 in Jan and cannot wait for our wee family to be complete. Sadly, the general feeling from a fair few folk is it will be VERY hard. I know it will- dd will be 20 months, so I know it is going to be rathe rtough at times! Many are positive too. I would just love to hear positive feedback - and possible tips!- from others who have actually done this. Even if you say it was bloody HARD but... that would help :)
I have heard enough of how hard it will as it is, so really just hoping for some of the good stuff! :) :) :)
TIA! X

[Keepontrudging]

Argh sorry for errors. Basically; I am well aware of how hard its gonna be. Just looking for some positivity / reassurance too :) please.

[MammaTJ]

54 weeks between DD2 and DS.

DD was 9 last week and DS is 8 next week, so I can say 'We survived'.

It wasn't easy, but I wasn't expecting it to be. We went to toddler groups every morning. I appreciate they aren't everyones cup of tea, but they kept me sane. I also went to afternoon ones on a Tuesday and Wednesday.

I would have struggled a lot without them!

It is worse when they are young and gets easier as they get older. The worst will not last long.

[Thudercatsrule]

My first was only 3months when I found out I was pg with my second! We planned it that way, saved a fortune on equipment, prams and even clothes as they were both boys!

For us it was great, the boys are best friends! Yes, it was hard, but isn't having just one hard?! Congratulations by the way!

[TheHomicidalPowerOfaTypo]

There's 22 months between my two. It was never difficult. DS was too young to get jealous and can't remember life without DD and they are really good friends now (6&8).

It can be hard work in that you have two in nappies and sleeps to coordinate but I just made sure that DD's sleeps gradually began to match DS's lunchtime nap.

Both of mine were total accidents as I wasn't supposed to be able to have children but I wouldn't change the age gap if I could choose when they were born. Good luck and you'll love it.

[User100]

We had 22 months between 2 & 3. It is hard at times but it's lovely too. The biggest problem is that number 2 is often too affectionate and doesn't know his own strength (lying on top of our new born baby to give him a cuddle and so on) but I really love having this age gap. Both DW and I say we'd have had this age gap first time round if it hadn't been for work issues making that difficult.

[cindydog]

13 months between my 2 youngest daughters. They are best of buddies and do everything together. They are 7 and 8.

[bensam]

It's hard for a while but will get easier. Biggest advantage is that eventually, they will play well together and be the best of buddies (except for the odd frequent scrap) and will have a lot in common :)

[BreeVDKamp]

No experience myself but my dad and his sister are 15 months apart and they are so close to this day. They looked like twins when they were toddlers and they were best friends!! So cute. I want small gaps!!

[ScottishInSwitzerland]

22 months between my two. I actually found it easiest when the second was a small baby as her needs were fairly easy to meet and she slept a lot so I could give attention to the older one.

I found it harder when the younger started walking before the older was completely independent eg at the park.

It will be fine.

I have a friend who had 18 months between hers and she worked hard to get them both napping at t same time and sh said that was her saviour - my oldest stopped napping before youngest was born so that wasn't an option for us. But might work for you.

[JaceLancs]

17 months between my children, however due to birth dates only a school year apart
Male and female, DD being the older of the two
Positives - they were/are very close - even now as young adults, less hassle with school and nursery, ie only occasional years where I had to be in 2 places at once
Shared toys, equipment and some clothing easy to pass down
Similar school curriculum, able to pass down text books, and so on
Felt it helped me with getting it all over close together ie the more difficult full on years where I had a career break
No real negatives that I can think of!

[Artandco]

14 months gap here. We didn't find it much different from 1 tbh as was still in baby mode. Things that worked for us was keeping both children in our room, having baby in sling and elder in pram ( never used twin), and encouraging indepence in areas from both as soon as possible ie did potty training very early so min time with both in nappies, and both fed themselves food from 6 months.

[Mrsantithetic]

I'm here now.

Dd is 23 months. Ds is 4 weeks.

I'm not going to lie. It's bloody hard both of mine are breast fed. The eldest is having some issues as too little to understand baby needs bf or picking up when she is having bf which breaks my heart because she's too young to understand.

We've had a increase in bad behaviour from dd but nothing major just boundary testing.

But and this is the huge bit. She adores him and is very loving towards him and I'm really looking forward to a few months when everything calms down.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

DS1 was 4.5 when I had ds3, ds1's first day at school and ds3 was 3 months old, I did stress getting organised that morning as ds3 had bronchiolitis and had to be admitted to hospital for observation once I'd dropped ds1 off .

It took a lot of organisation in general and I was blessed with three placid, easy going boys who usually slept well; although ds2 had his moments as a baby.

There was no jealousy, they loved each other and are still close, at 19,17 and nearly 15.

It is fab!

[nooka]

I have a 16mth gap between my two, and yes it was very hard when they were small. Part of that was that dh and I aren't great baby people, part was dd (no2) was a demanding velcro baby (and I'm so not a velcro mum!) and part was that we just weren't mentally prepared for no2 as dd was a total accident. So the first two years after dd was born was a bit of an unhappy blur. I advise as much help as you can muster, and really talk to your dh/dp about how you are going to support each other. dh and I struggled very separately and it was very bad for our relationship.

Having said that once the baby stage was over it has really only been positive. They are the best of friends, into the same stuff because they are at at the same stage in life (advantage of ds/dd order) and very supportive of each other. When they were small they entertained each other for hours, now they are older (15/14) a bit less so, but they still really enjoy hanging out together. Which I am told by their friends is not very common. Looking back I'd not change anything.

So good luck, and hang on in there!

[christmashope]

15 months between my two boys they are now aged 8&9 and it was the best thing that we did. I have no family close by and I had to have a c-section so was a bit sore afterwards but managed just fine.
The first year was the hardest.
My advice/tip would be to have your eldest in a great routine before number 2 arrives x

[HappyAgainOneDay]

13 months between mine. It's much easier to deal with two small children close in age than two who have different needs because the age gap is bigger.

Also, we used terry towelling nappies so I had about 1 year of nappies for the first DC and then 2 years' worth of nappy changing two DC, washing nappies, bathing together etc. They shared the clean nappies. I mean that it wasn't one set of nappies for one and one set for the other. We had 48 nappies altoigether. Then it was all over and I had a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old

It was worth it.

[PatSharpesfabulousmullet]

When I had dd3 I had dd2 23 months and dd1 just turned 4. To be honest apart from a short period of 2 in nappies while potty training dd2, which was abit of a pain,I absolutely loved it. The girls have always been incredibly close and are great entertainment for each other. I found the younger ones just kind of slotted in around the older ones, and never had any jealousy. I used to make feeding the new baby story time and we'd all curl up together with a book or dvd they liked. I also found getting older ones involved in "helping" worked well, they loved picking out outfits for baby, fetching a nappy or wipes etc, and lots of praise for the helper so they don't feel left out. Also I found looking after a newborn, toddler & pre-schooler alot easier than looking after the older 2 while heavily pregnant! So once baby was born it was quite a relief. I think days out require more planning, but I'm a planner anyway so never bothered me. One of my favourite memories is of dd2 and dd3 at 2 and 8 months sitting facing each other and just giggling away, in a world of their own! The girls are 4,6 and 8 now and still very close, although they argue sometimes like all brothers and sisters do. Would I change anything if I could go back? Definitely not!

[sammy90]

Just ave routine and it's the same everyday for both. I have 10months between mine they are now 2&1 and they are great fun but of course have our moments but nothing how I ever could imagine when I fist found out I was pregnant with my second. its be brilliant and the best thing that could have ever happened for me. Now all babies done and don't have to start again years later.

[SugarPlumpFairy3]

I have twins so not the same but all I will say is that you find a way to get by. I wondered how on earth I'd cope but they're almost 2 so i think we're through the worst and while it's been hard, we've found ways to cope (and managed to enjoy it too!)

[Coffeethrowtrampbitch]

There is 18 months between ds1 and dd, and 23 months between dd and ds2.

They are now 7, 5 and 3.

It was very hard in some ways, but they play well together and always have, and now ds2 has started nursery I am definitely enjoying the rest!

I found tots groups, library groups and soft play good as ds1 could work off energy, I tried to take him out every day as he was a very active little boy. Having structure in your day really helps, if you don't have regular activites it can be a long day with two babies. Even though it can seem nearly impossible to get out some days I found I was almost always glad I made the effort.

I found being in late pregnancy the hardest, as I still had to lift and carry and push a buggy. I persuaded ds1 to join me in the bath after lunch each day, he played, I rested my aching muscles and it set him up for his nap which I treasured!

Good luck op, I think having a small gaps is hard in the early years but my children have benefited from being close in age, and I have got the baby stages over with and don't need to go back to them. My worst memory is the month the ds2 was born and ds1 was still in bedtime nappies, three bums to change every morning, and I was so tired I nearly put a nappy on the cat too!

[Keepontrudging]

Art- how old were they when you potty trained?

Mrs- I hope it gets easier quickly for you. BF too must be extremely demanding! Hats off to you :)

Thanks all for these uplifiting experiences. Please keep them coming! I think I will save this as something to keep looking back on :)

[Keepontrudging]

Literally in awe of you mums with 3 close together! Thanks for the input :)

[Bibbitybobbetyboo]

20 months between my two and although DC2 was a difficult baby (colicky and reflux-y), I didn't find the dynamic of the 2 of them especially difficult. I very quickly synchronised their routines so that they both had their lunchtime naps together (as did I!) and put them to bed at the same time. DD was too young to feel jealous about her brother and doesn't remember a time before him but was just old enough to help out (by fetching wet wipes etc) and loved to help in any way.

The hardest bit (I'm hoping) is right now (DD - 3.5, DS - nearly 2) as they're not great at sharing and DS ruins DD's games, but we occasionally get a harmonious half hour so there is potential. Biased, but I think a 20 month age gap is perfect and if I could have persuaded DH to have a third I'd have gone for the same gap all over again. Good luck, you will be fine.