AIBU to not want to take 2 cars on my wedding day to accommodate someone?

(157 Posts)
FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:17:15

I'm getting married on Friday - it's just a small do with 18 guests. Two of the people invited are my daughter's sister who is 26 and niece who is 2. ( my dd is almost 16 and they have the same father,. I'm not particularly close to her however we get on absolutely fine and my daughter is close to her , sees her often and babysits a lot for her niece.

I invited her to the wedding. We are getting married 12 miles from here and then it's a further 12 miles or so to where we are having lunch and then it's back to our house. My daughters sister does not drive and has now just told me that she can't get there using buses etc because where we are going is not on a bus route

We have two cars. We were only taking one because there are four of us in the family. I really do not want to take two cars to accommodate her. It would mean me driving , my ( soon to be ! ) husband driving and all this to fit her in with her little girl. I just don't want to drive there separately , get married and then drive off to the lunch separately etc etc.

My daughter thinks I'm BU. I think she's 26 years old an she's had enough notice to sort out a lift or a babysitter for her child ( who is very welcome of course but if it wasn't for her, we'd be able to squeeze her in )

My daughter wants her there. I do as well but I just don't want to take two cars.

So ... AIBU ?

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:17:31

My other half isn't bothered either way

RedRoom Tue 26-Aug-14 20:19:00

That's what taxis are for!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 26-Aug-14 20:19:57

Sorry am I missing something? Why can't she take a taxi?

AlpacaMyBags Tue 26-Aug-14 20:20:09

YANBU. Any other day I wouldn't mind, but I would want to drive to my wedding with my husband to be!

HSMMaCM Tue 26-Aug-14 20:21:36

Can another guest give her a lift

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:22:10

She's on income support and it would probably cost in the region of £50 minimum for the various journeys. I also know that she has debts and has had various utilities cut off recently

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:22:49

I've looked into the other guest taking her thing. They have the same issue as me - full cars what with kids etc

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:23:05

Taking her there !

Finney2 Tue 26-Aug-14 20:23:32

She is an adult guest and needs to sort herself out. She shouldn't be landing this on your doorstep now. She can get a cab.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 26-Aug-14 20:23:41

Its just part of the cost of attending a wedding. Weddings are expensive for guests. You can either afford to go or you can't.

Finney2 Tue 26-Aug-14 20:24:23

Sorry, x-posted.mshe should've saved up. Most people do to attend weddings. I went to one at the weekend and it cost £250. I had to,save for,6 months.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 26-Aug-14 20:24:49

Also, as another poster said, she definitely shouldn't be landing this on your doorstep. It is your wedding day after all.

Vitalstatistix Tue 26-Aug-14 20:25:30

That's a lot of money for someone on a very low income.

Is there nobody else who could help out?

tbh, I would take 2 cars rather than leave someone out, but if you don't want to, you shouldn't be made to feel that you must.

Does she drive? If so, could you not get temp insurance and let her drive one car?

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:26:27

I should add that she's had 8 weeks notice as we only decided to get married at the end of June

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:27:09

She can't drive

Vitalstatistix Tue 26-Aug-14 20:27:16

sorry, I mean I see that you said she does not drive, but if this is because she does not have a car, rather than that she cannot drive, could she use yours.

Anyone got a car that will take 5 people?
I can see that in a wedding dress, it might not work, but if most cars take 5 adults?

Have a fab time on Friday.

Vitalstatistix Tue 26-Aug-14 20:28:59

x post. grin

8 weeks notice for someone on IS to save £50 when they have had some utilities cut off?

I think that is pushing it. Not you pushing it, I mean it is pushing it for her, for her to cobble together £50.

I honestly would just take 2 cars.

But then I had a pal stay over on my wedding night cos they had no transport home, so I'm probably too casual about these things grin

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:29:45

She has no license and hasn't passed a car test so that's unfortunately not an option

Only another set if guests are coming from this area. And they can't fit her in due to a full car already

Vitalstatistix Tue 26-Aug-14 20:30:44

Is there more than one driver in that set of guests? If so, maybe they could use your car as well, in order to fit everyone in?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 26-Aug-14 20:30:59

taking two cars mean that neither the bride or groom are able to have a drink to celebrate their own wedding day. Seems a bit unfair to me.

FelicityFoxton Tue 26-Aug-14 20:31:07

Yeah the issue really is should I take two cars ... I just don't want to . I'm not usually so adamant . I just ... Don't. Can't explain it.

But I'll probably end up doing it

Lweji Tue 26-Aug-14 20:31:41

TBH, and considering your replies to the other options, if you have invited her, then I'd give her a lift, and take the two cars if it wasn't too much of a burden.

Blu Tue 26-Aug-14 20:31:46

Is there another guest or family member that could drive your other car?

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