Aaargh!
A little while ago we had an invite from an old friend to go to their birthday party next weekend. It wasn't really doable so we declined and thought nothing of it.
Now it turns out it's not a birthday party - but a surprise wedding to their partner of 4 months...
DP can't get the day off work at such short notice so he can't go. We can't get anyone to mind the toddler at such short notice. In theory I could go as it says children are welcome, but getting their involves a 40 min train to London, then crossing London on Tube lines that don't all have lifts (DC very much still in a pushchair), then a 15 walk to the venue. I'd have to do this alone as no one else lives this side of London, and can't drive to it.
And then while it says children welcome, I can't think of anyone else who has young children so DD might be the only little one at a wedding I know will involve quite a bit of drinking (well, assuming as pretty much all our mutual friends don't have children yet), and then travelling back on my own with DD later...
Sorry, too much waffle! If it was any other sort of wedding we would make a real effort to go as while friend isn't that close we do go a long way back and have a lot of mutual friends. But it's such short notice and I just can't stomach the thought of all that travelling with a little one.
This is clearly one of those where I want you all to agree with me 
AIBU to not go? Or should I make the effort eurgh at the thought of Saturday afternoon Tubes with a pushchair
AIBU?
last minute wedding invite
Thurlow · 25/08/2014 08:48
Don't go, you have a good enough reason and clearly don't want to so just decline. They will have to understand that with such short notice people won't be able to make it.
Though having only been together 4 months I suppose they haven't had much notice either!
Yeah, I have to say it fits more into the "I think I ought to go" category rather than the "I really want to go" one. And yes, we're all surprised that they are marrying so soon - not that I think quick marriages don't work, just this really is a bolt out of the blue for this couple.
I can't really do a taxi, financially, as it's been a bad month.
I am over doing things because I feel like I have to
That's probably what it is. We're pretty much the only people in our friendship group with a child and so most socialising and plans are still as if everyone is in their 20s and has loads of time to spare. I like them all very much - but I think you've just worded what I'm thinking. "Given a few months notice I would love to come to your wedding, but I have a small child, and I can't be doing all these surprise parties in random cool venues at a week's notice any more."
Damn it. I'm turning into a curmudgeon. MN is proving this.
So AIBU to turn into a curmudgeon?
I'm going to embrace oldness. There is no escaping the fact that yes, I actually do need a few months notice to work out how to attend a party (though tbf that's got a lot more to do with childcare)
The thing with the travelling is that I'm not overly comfortable doing it on my own. DD is a tricky age - when she was younger I used to do it a lot because I knew she'd sleep, and I guess when she's older she will be more distractable/entertained. 2.5 is proving a challenging age for me!
No, I don't really want to go Not that I don't want to see this friend married, just the day doesn't sound great, if that makes sense. It'll be a shame to miss it, but then DP is missing it too (equally as much his friend as mine) because of work.
I think I just wanted one or two other people to tell me they wouldn't go either in this situation!
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