I feel like I'm going mad sometimes but think I've just had a very uncomfortable lightbulb moment in my marriage.
My DH has just told me to 'F*k off' several times during a minor row, and when I told him it was disgusting to be spoken to like this and I didn't want to be in a marriage like this he said 'You're going to divorce me now you fing bitch? Divorce me then. You're going to take my son off me you Fing bitch? Go on then.' I then went to leave the room and he was in my face, hand on my shoulder, not wanting me to go (with anger, not out of apology), I told him to leave me alone, get his hands off me etc. and as I walked by he pushed me saying something like 'F off, bitch' again. The push wasn't any more than a tap - it isn't right though is it? And as for the language and losing his temper so quickly, I feel he is completely out of control.
Believe it or not, we have a very close, affectionate, stuff in common, laugh a lot relationship, he is a fantastic Dad and always there for me blah blah, but when we row it is horrible. We've had a bad patch recently and I've begun to wonder if he is quite emotionally abusive as he's very 'good' at arguing and I'm often left feeling like I'm to blame when the starting point is he's snapped at me or said something not very nice, etc. etc. Anyway, we were trying to work on things, and I was beginning to accept this 10% unreasonable behaviour, as he was trying to not speak to me badly / lose his temper easily. However I am now upstairs shaking and thinking that it really isn't normal is it? Our arguments never feel healthy, I never feel I get to have my say, and things always seem to get turned around.
Does anyone else's DP speak to them this way whilst still having a good relationship? Or have I had my head up my arse for 7 years?
I haven't posted this in relationships as I really do want to know what is normal - or not, and I guess most people in relationships have been in bad relationships and I want to be given it straight / objectively.
Thanks.
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To check it's not normal to be spoken to like this?
57 replies
ToughTimes1 · 24/08/2014 19:42
OP posts:
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