ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

AIBU To think that having kids actually isn't that stressful/tiring?

(201 Posts)
Nicklt1988 Sat 23-Aug-14 23:24:15

There may well be a back lash to this.

We have one DD (6 y/o) - and I can honestly say I have never really felt stressed/tired since she was born.

Me and my wife do the same level of caring, neither of us does anymore or less than the other and we split domestic stuff pretty evenly.

Maybe we have been lucky, but then again I don't think we have. When DW became pregnant neither of use worked and we had no where to live, so not not a stressful situation - over those 6 years we have worked hard and have a pretty good life etc.

Maybe it's has just been different for us compared to most - just that probably 80-90% of friends or people I speak to who have children (be it 1 or more) comment about how stressful it is and tiring.

I'm naturally quite a calm and laid back person so maybe that helps somewhat, my DW is different she can get very stressed over thing (not over DD though) and she has said she has never really felt stressed of tired from DD (apart from maybe the first 1-2 months from when she was born).

Does anyone else not find having kids stressful - or does anyone think I'm crazy to think it's not.

gamescompendium Sat 23-Aug-14 23:38:39

You have one child, the baby years are over and you are now in the golden years of childhood. And you're a Dad (who doesn't work part time/is a SAHP)? Course you think you've got things sorted.

I've got 3 kids, DH and I both work, and we have no family nearby. Having kidS is fucking exhausting. Even when they are being delightful the eldest is a complete motormouth, the youngest is very keen to show us how well he can say 'toes' repeatedly and the middle child is admittedly relatively easy. Except she is currently rebelling by refusing to eat all food. Except bananas (but only at a certain point of ripeness).

Nicklt1988 Sat 23-Aug-14 23:39:35

Good lord, why do some of you instantly think I was being judgmental. I wasn't, I was just asking a question.

being judgmental would be me saying something along the lines of - "Why do so many of you moan about having kids, it's easy, you must be doing something wrong" - But I didn't, I highlighted my experience - and then asked if anyone else thought the same, it wasn't so much an AIBU more a seeing it anyone shared the same experience as me.

SavoyCabbage Sat 23-Aug-14 23:40:12

I thought it was quite easy to when I had dd1.

She's as good as gold, slept, ate anything, never touched the remote grin, didn't drop her nap till she was 4, always did what she was told etc. she is still great now. Top of her class and all that.

Dd2, is a different ball game altogether! It's like bringing up Mowgli. She walked at eight fecking months and she's never been still since.

Thesimplethings Sat 23-Aug-14 23:40:19

Yabu

I've got two, a four year old and a three year old. I regularly have dedicated mammy and ds1/ds2 days and one child is a doddle.

Before I get flamed ds1 is as laid back as they come, a dream newborn who would close his eyes and sleep as soon as I laid him down. Fed at 10pm, 2am then up for the day at 6am from birth till 8 weeks when he slept 10pm till 6am. Like I said a dream!

Ds2 slept all day only stirring for a feed, but screamed the house down from 4pm till 3am due to reflux. Sounds a nightmare? Well if he'd been an only that wouldn't have been a problem as I could have slept all day too grin

You just haven't had to juggle the needs of more than one demanding person at the same time.

fairgame Sat 23-Aug-14 23:40:42

If it wasn't meant to be an AIBU then don't post it in AIBU!

CultureSucksDownWords Sat 23-Aug-14 23:41:34

I don't find having my DS stressful, bar the first 3 months. I don't think it's unreasonable for you also to not find parenting your DD stressful.

However.... why do you think what you or I feel about parenting our children has to do with anyone else's situation? You can't extrapolate, and I don't know what point you are trying to make.

LittleBearPad Sat 23-Aug-14 23:41:37

Well good for you. Hope your wife feels the same.

thornrose Sat 23-Aug-14 23:41:42

* just that probably 80-90% of friends or people I speak to who have children (be it 1 or more) comment about how stressful it is and tiring.* that is why you come across as judgemental.

LiverpoolLou Sat 23-Aug-14 23:41:46

I find being a parent extremely tiring as does my DH. I'm guessing by your username that we're around 20 years older than you though. 1 year old DS is a completely fearless mini-hurricane. I spend most of my day chasing him around trying to stop him from killing himself. I had my DD 20 years ago, she was a doddle compared to DS.

ThursdayLast Sat 23-Aug-14 23:42:21

'Actually isn't that stressful?' Implies someone has said it is stressful and you are denying that statement.

Asking a pretty daft question "AIBU to think that having 'kids' isn't that stressful/tiring?"

You don't have KIDS, you have one.

Having a child can be stressful, tiring, heart wrenching, gut churning, exhausting misery.

There are a lot of parents out there though who have had a easy child, think that this is a doddle, and just don't get what all the fuss is about.

Then they post on boards like this, get their arse handed back to them lightly roasted and wonder why...

Nicklt1988 Sat 23-Aug-14 23:43:26

Let me just point out that me and DW both work full time, and like I said in my post we started off with pretty much nothing.

I'm not judging anyone, or coming on here to say "you must all be doing it wrong" merely asking the question to see if anyone shares the same experience as I.

If you feel the need to turn my post into something it isn't feel free, bit sad, but feel free.

YWurri Sat 23-Aug-14 23:43:31

biscuit

WineWineWine Sat 23-Aug-14 23:43:55

You have ONE clearly well behaved child who hasn't really challenged you or caused you any real stress. You have had no major stressful situations like no sleep, aggressive or challenging behaviour, disabilities, learning difficulties, siblings, lack of money, poor housing, food refusal etc
So you've been lucky, you're not the only one, but many people have a hell of a lot more to deal with.

OBface Sat 23-Aug-14 23:44:08

To be honest I don't find having children particularly stressful. Different from our life before, yes, but definitely not hard work.

Nothing wrong with saying that, just personal experience.

thornrose Sat 23-Aug-14 23:44:16

As I said, goady fucker!

gertiegusset Sat 23-Aug-14 23:45:34

Bless.
<bored now>

ArtemisiaGentileschisThumb Sat 23-Aug-14 23:45:54

If you don't want people to tell you you are being unreasonable don't post here. You did ask if you wbu to think that having kids isn't actually that stressful/tiring, the implication of that is that either yabu (which you are) or other people are not as good at parenting/have very difficult children compared to your low maintainence DD/are exaggerating aboutthemortgage their levels of stress/fatigue.

Nicklt1988 Sat 23-Aug-14 23:46:29

WOW - I'm abandoning this post, after what 10 minutes.

I merely asked a question and 80% of the responses have turned it into something it is not.

scottishmummy Sat 23-Aug-14 23:46:45

If thats how it is for yiu two,you're v fortunate.its not usual to find it so

YABU.

One child is easy. I know this as I have one dd myself.

Throw my two nieces into the mix for a few days (one of whom is undergoing asd diagnosis) and it is a whole different ball game. In fact just looking after one of them, plus dd, is exhausting, even when they are on their best behaviour.

You might find it a bit harder too if you were a single parent, or had health problems etc.

You and I have it easy, don't assume everyone else has it so easy.

ThursdayLast Sat 23-Aug-14 23:47:28

So what you meant was...

'' I bloody love parenting! Who's with me?"

scottishmummy Sat 23-Aug-14 23:47:49

You dont have to leave,but we don't have to agree with you

fairgame Sat 23-Aug-14 23:47:50

starts a controversial thread+abandons it after 10 mins = goady fucker

moldingsunbeams Sat 23-Aug-14 23:48:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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