Next door neighbour dispute - I am on the verge of going nuclear!

(76 Posts)
OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:30:37

Bit of backstory...

We live on a small road off another road. On our small road are 4 semi detached houses. We live furthest from the road in House 1. We also own House 2 which we rent out to almost cover the mortgage. It was my house before I married my DH, is very small and is almost out of negative equity. House 3 has the neighbours from hell and in House 4 lives a quiet, elderly single chap. His house is nearest the road.

About 5 years ago a same sex couple (women) rented our house. We were always pleasant with them, they were civil but seemed quite grumpy. We put it down to them maybe having faced some prejudice in the past and just maintained a casual 'hello' type relationship with them. They seemed to resent paying us rent and often slipped comments into conversations such as 'well, with all the money we pay you I'm sure you can afford it' etc.

2 years ago the man who lived in House 3 died and the same sex couple (now known as the neighbours from hell NFH) bought it. They then seemed to become really grumpy and never passed a civil word with us. That suited us as we are very quiet and like to keep ourselves to ourselves. They then applied for planning permission for an extension. We had to object as it was so close to our properties that it makes them look like terraced houses and our houses have now dropped in price due to the extension going ahead. I think this was the catalyst to them hating us.

They then approached us about having the House 2 and 3 joined drives tarmaced. We were expecting our 1st child then after a long hard infertility road and were broke. They asked us to contribute £1000 to the drive and, after some humming and ahhhing, we agreed as we had just enough savings. They then came back 2 weeks later and said it would cost us nearer £3000. We said we couldn't afford it. NFH then said they would pay the bulk of it and we could still pay the £1000 which we eventually did.

Since then relationships have deteriorated. They scowl at us all the time and say horrible things to us to other neighbours and any workmen we employ. We have since had baby number 2 and are quite cramped in the house. My husband needed a study so we had a small outside wooden office built. The NFH objected to this on the grounds that we have too many deliveries and they are sick of delivery vans coming down our small road.

Last week they stuck a huge sign on their car back window saying 'slow down!' It was obviously aimed at us and my husband went round. He is a very laid back, reasonable man. They called him an idiot and said they were sick of delivery men driving over their rockery at the end of the drive. They said I should go to the shops instead - easier said than done with 2 children under 2 and still suffering the after effects of spd. My baby needs special milk which also needs to be delivered. They both ranted and shouted at him for about 10 minutes, saying he drives too fast up our small road (which to be fair I have told him off about before). He told them that the parcel situation wouldn't be changing but he would go slower on the road in future.

The final straw was today. I was in the garden with the babies when one of the NFH opened our side gate and yelled something at me. I didn't catch what it was so I went out. She showed me her rockery all scattered all over the drive and told me that one of the delivery drivers did it. I apologised but said that there was nothing I could do about it. She ranted on for a bit and I offered to take a photo and complain to Amazon which I have done.

I am at the end of my tether with them. I am sleep deprived and feel that if they speak to them again I am going to explode and tell them to just fuck off. My husband said to just leave it to him. I want to move but we can't afford it at the moment. Should we offer to pay for their rockery damage? Are we being unreasonable having a delivery probably every other day?

I just feel I need an outsiders view on this.

MrsWinnibago Tue 19-Aug-14 21:37:48

It sounds baddish but not so bad that you should feel as bad as you do. Your being a new Mother is not going to give you patience when it comes to these twits...BUT your dh should not need telling about his driving. That's NOT ON. I hate people who tear about in residential areas. A child could be killed.

I would ignore their future complaints about deliveries. They can take their own photos.

HeySoulSister Tue 19-Aug-14 21:38:10

Why are the drivers continually driving over rockeries?? I don't get why they are doing that

MrsWinnibago Tue 19-Aug-14 21:39:21

Well neither does the OP! It's not her issue though.

OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:42:48

The road is quite narrow and some of these delivery drivers whizz up it. The neighbours have a rockery right at the very end of their drive so anyone not driving carefully is likely to go over it.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 19-Aug-14 21:45:05

They should complain directly to the delivery company about the rockery thing. They gave a fair point if you admit your DH drives too fast.

Other than that I think you need to just ignore it. They sound a bit grumpy but not bad enough to get so wound up over.

mewkins Tue 19-Aug-14 21:46:02

Why would they put a rockery where people could drive over it? Surely if it's happened a lot they should get the hint? I would leave it to your dh to sort out and ignore them as best you can.

HeySoulSister Tue 19-Aug-14 21:46:59

Er I asked op a question! Op... Not you mrswinnibago
hmm

Well it seems to be their biggest bone of contention, was trying to get a picture of the layout and see why it was happening. Sorry I asked! I'll leave it for mrswinnibago then

cricketballs Tue 19-Aug-14 21:47:22

I think it is her issue; imagine the neighbours posting a thread saying next door are having very frequent deliveries and our garden is getting ruined, also the DH drives at a fast speed in street.

op; you need to make it clear when ordering that deliveries can not enter the drive, but you also need to be considerate of your neighbours and think how you would feel if you were in their shoes and damage was occuring on a frequent basis to your property

Methe Tue 19-Aug-14 21:47:28

Tell them to fuck off.

Hth.

helensburgh Tue 19-Aug-14 21:49:05

We put up with neighbours from hell for too long , then sold upand moved. Shoud have don it years ago.

It's will never be resolved, they will go from one thing to the next.

fluffyduffydoo Tue 19-Aug-14 21:49:07

Sounds like a breakdown in communications

Be honest here , were either you or your husband annoyed/uncomfortable they were a same sex couple or choose to leave renting your second house to buy house number 3 in the street?

Do the delivery drivers drive over the garden?

If an Amazon driver did it it's Amazons responsibility, however must delivery drivers just park on the street confused

ThatBloodyWoman Tue 19-Aug-14 21:50:37

Your dh needs to drive slower and he acknowledges this and will act on it.

The siting of the rockery and poor driving of delivery drivers is fuck all to do with you.

Don't take responsibility or feel responsibility for that!

cricketballs Tue 19-Aug-14 21:51:17

I think it is her issue; imagine the neighbours posting a thread saying next door are having very frequent deliveries and our garden is getting ruined, also the DH drives at a fast speed in street.

op; you need to make it clear when ordering that deliveries can not enter the drive, but you also need to be considerate of your neighbours and think how you would feel if you were in their shoes and damage was occuring on a frequent basis to your property

OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:53:22

We can honestly say we have never had a problem with them because they are same sex- it doesn't bother us at all. We were only disappointed that they bought Number 3 because they were so off with us.

The rockery is just a random rockery at the bottom of their drive. It seems to be there to stop anyone putting a tyre on their drive. They even pull both wheeley bins out to the bottom of the drive whenever they go out because the son of the nice lady in Number 2 used to sometimes drive slightly over their drive in order to park at his mums rented house.

WooWooOwl Tue 19-Aug-14 21:53:44

It's fine for you to have as many deliveries as you want, and you should absolutely not pay for their rockery.

I agree with your husband. Let him deal with it and you block them out as much as you can. They are probably like some of the people on here that automatically hate landlords just for the sake of it. Next time they are rude enough to start shouting at you for no reason, tell them they can deal with your husband or you will call the police.

Roonerspism Tue 19-Aug-14 21:53:49

I would be mighty pissed off at a neighbour speeding too, TBH.

And I think it's reasonable they are grumpy their rockery is driven over.

I have had neighbours from hell - these are not hellish neighbours!!

isitsnowingyet Tue 19-Aug-14 21:54:37

I'm with Methe on this one. Some people are permanently grumpy - don't they go out to work in the day?

erin99 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:56:43

Sounds very stressful, but you are not responsible for delivery drivers' actions and they can hardly complain about too much traffic.

Do the drivers reverse over the rockery without seeing it? Maybe you could smooth the waters by offering to buy them some extra rocks to make it bigger, or contribute towards a bollard or something. Not that you have any responsibility to do so. Who owns the road itself, is it adopted?

OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:57:38

They seem to both work odd shifts so are sometimes in in the day.

OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 21:58:41

Not sure who owns the road, I think we all own the bit outside our houses but everyone else has access.

HeySoulSister Tue 19-Aug-14 21:59:08

Well what do you think could be a solution op?

Will your DH slow down and stay that way?

OlderMummy1 Tue 19-Aug-14 22:01:12

DH has slowed down. It was never a boy racer type speed (he is 40!) but sometimes it was a bit quick swinging into our road. I did used to say that if our cat ran out now her never stop in time. He has gone very slow since the altercation.

MrsWinnibago Tue 19-Aug-14 22:02:16

If they say anything again about the rockery, suggest that since it happens all the time, the fault could lie in the placement of it rather than anything else. And then tell them "Please stop asking me about it. It has nothing to do with me." and walk off. If they continue, then let them know they are harassing you and if they continue you will take action.

queenofthemountain Tue 19-Aug-14 22:02:46

I think they have more reason to think of you as the neighbours from hell , than you thinking that of them!

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