Coffee with DH's ExW?

(46 Posts)

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zeezeek Tue 19-Aug-14 18:26:12

Met with my DH's Ex this morning for coffee. On the table next to us there was a couple of English women and we passed the time of day with them and they made a comment about us being mother and daughter. I guess we do look similar and she is very well preserved (she's 66). Anyway we explained our connection and they were horrified, mostly on her behalf and one of them even made a comment about how I was rubbing her nose in the fact that her husband left her for a younger women (he didn't). Is it strange that an ex and a current wife can get on? It's not something that either of us, or DH, have ever thought odd...we met just after DH and I married and although we aren't close friends, we get one well and often meet up when we're in Sweden or she's in England.

Weathergames Tue 19-Aug-14 18:29:20

I get on really well with OHs ex. We meet up without him and text all the time.

We are not married yet but she considers me her DCs step-mum and it's good and healthy for the kids to see that just because a relationship ends it doesn't have to be negative.

Wish my kids step-mum had the same attitude hmm.

Gruntfuttock Tue 19-Aug-14 18:29:50

Are you asking if it's unreasonable that you get on with each other? confused

LokiBear Tue 19-Aug-14 18:34:53

I think it is brilliant. It is always so much easier for kids of divorced parents if their parents are civil with other parents new partner. If you get on well enough to be friends, that is even better imo.

WitchWay Tue 19-Aug-14 18:39:32

Why wouldn't you get on? You probably have a lot in common.

AnyFucker Tue 19-Aug-14 18:41:36

Stealth boast

Next !

zeezeek Tue 19-Aug-14 18:45:17

More like asking is, is it so strange?

Why a stealth boast?!!

Chippednailvarnish Tue 19-Aug-14 18:47:08

Is this thread trying to deflect attention from the utter crap you have posted on the other thread?

"Well preserved" makes her sound like she's an ancient relic. Charming.

HatesLeylandii Tue 19-Aug-14 18:48:26

Nothing wrong with a stealth boast, especially one of this nature. Great that you both get on and long may that continue!

maras2 Tue 19-Aug-14 18:50:07

You weirdo.And agree with AF stealth boast.

zeezeek Tue 19-Aug-14 18:51:05

Oh FFS. No. Was just writing about something that happened to me today that I found slightly strange, insulting and, frankly, pissed me off because it assumed that a) I was some young bit of stuff that stole someone else's husband and b) someone I now consider a friend is so pathetic that she is trying to be friends with the person who stole her husband.

ThatBloodyWoman Tue 19-Aug-14 18:51:39

I get on fine with dh's ex.

zeezeek Tue 19-Aug-14 18:51:45

Why weirdo? Been called many things on here....but not that before.

CalamityKate1 Tue 19-Aug-14 18:51:51

I posted a similar thing once and also got accused of stealth boasting. People can be twats.

DHs XDP is a good friend. Why wouldn't we be? They split up years before DH and I got together and we're all nice people.

I think it's nice, and certainly makes for a peaceful existence. Unfortunately there are people who think that it should all be handbags at dawn and pulling each other's hair out.

zeezeek Tue 19-Aug-14 18:52:40

CalamityKate1 - thanks.

I think some people are suffering from heatstroke on MN at the moment!!

cogitosum Tue 19-Aug-14 18:54:04

BIL's ex and current wives came to our wedding and get on ok. Lots of children involved so nice to all be pleasant

Hassled Tue 19-Aug-14 19:01:54

People are far more likely to post about problems with their DH's ex than positives - it's the nature of the site. Just as you don't see posts saying "my DH is a really nice, supportive guy".

But the reality is that lots of us are lucky enough to have good relationships with Exs and their partners - I'm very grateful I'm in that position (having grown up under the hellfire that was my parents' relationship after they divorced).

maras2 Tue 19-Aug-14 19:11:16

Weirdo because you think that having social time with DHx is normal.That's all.I'm maybe a bit judgy as I've never had an ex. < more stealth boasting > smile

gertiegusset Tue 19-Aug-14 19:14:50

Don't get what's U in your question but it's nice to hear nice stories of families who get on now and again.

AnyFucker Tue 19-Aug-14 19:15:01

You got it, chipped grin

CalamityKate1 Tue 19-Aug-14 19:15:29

I have social time with DHs ex. We get on well. I adore her and DHs DS. We have friends in common. Unusual maybe but why weird?!

gertiegusset Tue 19-Aug-14 19:16:13

U in your choice of language though, 'well preserved' is a bit rude dontcha think?

AnyFucker Tue 19-Aug-14 19:18:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

wheresthelight Tue 19-Aug-14 19:26:57

I don't see the issue to be honest. I would much prefer it if dp's exw and I could get on as it would be better for the kids but unfortunately she is a nasty piece of work

gertiegusset Tue 19-Aug-14 19:30:13

Ah, haven't seen any other threads yet.

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