to think that my boss is only my boss when we're at work

(34 Posts)
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Mon 18-Aug-14 21:03:18

and that when we are out socialising, we are equals, she's not the boss and can't tell me where to sit and to move up so that she can sit where I'm sitting at the dinner table? Eh?

puntasticusername Mon 18-Aug-14 21:05:12

Only if she's paying for the dinner (and all the wine, and now you mention it I think we should have a round of shots...)

TobyZiegler Mon 18-Aug-14 21:07:44

Depends... If you're in the armed forces they're your boss full stop. I suspect you're not so YANBU.

Montegomongoose Mon 18-Aug-14 21:08:16

I think you should try and keep that thought to yourself and behave professionally when you are out, however much you may resent her requests.

In sure you have lots of friends who are equals with whom you can socialise, but overstepping a professional boundary never does anyone any favours.

AddToBasket Mon 18-Aug-14 21:10:37

YABU. She's still your boss when you're socialising - until she gets very drunk.

shaska Mon 18-Aug-14 21:12:05

Socialising via/to do with work = basically still your boss. Socialising not to do with work = not your boss.

MrsWinnibago Mon 18-Aug-14 21:13:13

She's still your boss.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Mon 18-Aug-14 21:14:07

Well I didn't say anything. I just pretended not to hear her. Bossy cow. I felt like saying "your only the boss at work love, out here we're equals"

Littleturkish Mon 18-Aug-14 21:19:03

I would say work etiquette dictates although she isn't your boss out of work, if she asks you something reasonable, you do it. If she makes a crap joke, you titter politely. She speaks to you rudely and makes demands- you go along with it and bitch about it afterwards.

ThatBloodyWoman Mon 18-Aug-14 21:21:23

Regardless of the rights and wrongs I always stay polite and sober when socializing with work colleagues and I wouldn't challenge a bosses 'authority'.

I hate work do's.

Flipflops7 Mon 18-Aug-14 21:35:31

She's your boss until one of you changes job smile

Backinthering Mon 18-Aug-14 21:37:07

She's a rude cow, I'd be furious as well.

zeezeek Mon 18-Aug-14 21:40:35

It's tricky and depends on the relationship that you have with her. My boss is currently staying with us at our holiday home. He's one of my DH's best friends since they did their PhDs together. However, he was one of my lecturers when he briefly taught at the University I did my undergraduate degree in and is now my boss, yet he's also now a family friend and godfather to the girls. It has all just evolved over the years.

YANBU OP and I'm surprised by people saying 'she's still your boss' - so what? She's not more of a human and has no right to say where you can and cannot sit, outside of work.

AmyFlower Mon 18-Aug-14 22:10:03

Of course she's not your boss outside of work!! You are equals. I can't believe that people think otherwise!

AmyFlower Mon 18-Aug-14 22:12:28

"Wouldn't challenge a boss's authority"??? What nonsense. She has no authority in that situation!

AnyFucker Mon 18-Aug-14 22:15:52

This is why I never go on work do's smile

AmyFlower Mon 18-Aug-14 22:18:13

OK, to all those who think we should bow down to the boss's authority: what if you saw your boss in the supermarket queue, and she said "I'll push in front of you in the queue, as I'm your boss", would that be o.k.?

Backtobedlam Mon 18-Aug-14 22:18:42

Boss or not if someone asked me to shift up I probably would, unless there was a particular reason not to. There's no point being awkward just to make a point.

Staywithme Mon 18-Aug-14 22:22:11

Blimey, my boss makes no bones about the fact she is in charge at work but I've NEVER seen her interfere at any nights out. She just sits and chats with the rest of us and I've never known her to have a problem at a 'do' and deal with it in work. I've not always got on with her regarding work issues but she's grand when we're out. No way would I let any boss dictate to me outside work.

MostWicked Mon 18-Aug-14 22:23:36

If it's a work do then yes, she is still your boss.

If it's purely social, no she isn't your boss, but not worth making an enemy.

ThatBloodyWoman Mon 18-Aug-14 22:25:57

Amy my boss wouldn't do that.
Its quite different to being at a work do.

Kiffykaffycoffee Mon 18-Aug-14 22:26:57

Hmmm, socialising with work colleagues is such a difficult area. You can't behave respectfully to your boss at work then suddenly change the minute you enter a pub. You have to be fairly consistent I would have thought <runs screaming at the idea of socialising with boss>

Nyancat Mon 18-Aug-14 22:39:15

if it's a work do then I would say it's an extension.of the workplace and she is still the boss. hence the policies that often get circulated in advance of office Xmas parties that policies re sexual harassment still apply even if not in work.

ThatBloodyWoman Mon 18-Aug-14 22:43:24

Surely you couldn't walk up to your boss at a work do and let rip what you think of them and expect no comeback?
There has to be some boundaries!

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