to not want grandma to make ds a birthday cake?

(548 Posts)
Lepaskilf Mon 18-Aug-14 19:50:08

ds is 5 soon. Every year I make him a cake. He chooses the flavour (in the past it's been carrot/lemon/banana & choc), and he helps me make it. I try to decorate it in something he wants. I'm not the best at this but love giving it a go, it definately looks home made but tastes great smile It's a great bonding time for me and ds, and one of the things I've looked forward o giving a go since having children.

His grandma, also makes him a cake, they look amazing! She is very good at decorating them and goes all out, they look so professional. Problem is, she always just buys a plain sponge cake from supermarket and then decorates this.... it tastes shit tbh! Dry, cheap sponge and lots of icing.

My ds always goes on aboout her cake, for the rest of the year (although he never eats it!) and it really takes the shine out of the effort I make with mine.

I've asked her every year not to make a cake, but she does and just says that we can have it at a tea party with her and grandad, rather than for his party with friends. But I feel that the main reason she does it is to take lots of pics and show off to her friends what she can do.

aibu to really put my foot down this year?

YouTheCat Mon 18-Aug-14 19:52:09

Compromise.

Tell her you'd like her to decorate the cake that you make with your ds.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Mon 18-Aug-14 19:52:44

Why don't you make one of your cakes and ask her to decorate it?

iwantavuvezela Mon 18-Aug-14 19:53:43

I think it will be a lovely memory that your ds has of his grandmother. I like youthecat's compromise

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Aug-14 19:53:45

What YoutheCat said!

LokiBear Mon 18-Aug-14 19:54:07

Put your foot down. Gently. Tell her how it makes you feel.

scarletforya Mon 18-Aug-14 19:54:18

I'd let him have both!

I think yabu. One came looks great and one tastes great, win, win!

scarletforya Mon 18-Aug-14 19:54:56

cake not came!

MyFairyKing Mon 18-Aug-14 19:55:46

Are you serious? re: this....."My ds always goes on aboout her cake, for the rest of the year (although he never eats it!) and it really takes the shine out of the effort I make with mine."

Are you five?!

I agree with others, you bake and she can decorate.

Lepaskilf Mon 18-Aug-14 19:58:09

But I want to decorate! It's great fun!

CrimeaRiver Mon 18-Aug-14 19:59:15

Is she your MIL? grin

LokiBear Mon 18-Aug-14 19:59:42

I don't think you are being ridiculous. It is okay to want to have some things to yourself when it comes to your kids. I just think that perhaps grandma doesn't realise that it upsets you.

Yabu. She's happy to have it at a different time than you serve yours, so what's the harm? It's not like she's putting hers next to yours and getting everybody to laugh at yours. Really, you're being silly, and, 'putting your foot down' would make you look like a loon.

HaPPy8 Mon 18-Aug-14 20:00:50

YABU, especially as she isn't even trying to do if for his main party. And why shouldn't she show her friends and be proud of the cake?

Youthecat has the best plan, but if you wont do that, then two cakes is fine.

Flangeshrub Mon 18-Aug-14 20:01:50

I agree you sound really childish about another person's superior cake making skills. So what if granny makes a better look cake? Are you really that fragile?

Not worth getting knickers in a twist in my opinion.

Fairenuff Mon 18-Aug-14 20:02:29

She gets to show off her lovely cake (no-one can taste a photograph), your ds gets a cake that he loves so much he talks about it all year, you get to have lovely fun bonding time making a cake with him and he loves the taste of your cake. Everyone's a winner.

Can't see the problem with this one really unless, OP, you are saying you are jealous of all the attention grandma's cake gets wink

LadyLuck10 Mon 18-Aug-14 20:02:37

Yabu and sound like a whining child.

clam Mon 18-Aug-14 20:03:05

So, decorate! We invariably ended up having at least 2 cakes each year, sometimes three. There was one for the actual day, when close family/friends might come round for tea/presents/drinks etc... Then another for the party day, and sometimes a third to take into Nursery/school.

It's not a competition. He will remember both in the future - Grannie's for the wonderful decoration and yours for the fun you both had in cocking them up creating them.

pictish Mon 18-Aug-14 20:04:20

Yabu - it's cake. Let him have both.

LongWayRound Mon 18-Aug-14 20:06:01

I'm with scarletforya. I'd let grandma make her cake and serve it at the tea party with her and grandad. I don't see how you can reasonably ask someone not to make a cake that they're going to be serving at their own home.

Lepaskilf Mon 18-Aug-14 20:06:25

But why should he have 2 cakes when mine, the one he helps me with and loves is perfectly fine? Why should she then bring out a better looking one which my son then much prefers?! It's not nice tbh :/

Looseleaf Mon 18-Aug-14 20:07:08

Yabu. Agree it makes you seem 5 to feel it takes the shine off yours- what your DS will feel is just love from both of you and feel very special you both make him so special on his birthday. Why mind a dry cake when it's once a year?
I think it'd be unkind to say anything unless you say 'I know it's silly but...'
And you are a lovely mum to care, I just feel bad for your mum who's just doing a nice thing too.

OnlyLovers Mon 18-Aug-14 20:07:11

YABU. 'takes the shine out of the effort I make with mine'? hmm Grow up. Your DS obviously loves his Granny's cakes, so why can't you take pleasure in that?

Xmasbaby11 Mon 18-Aug-14 20:07:14

Your ds loves it. Let him have both cakes! It's only once a year.

BeachyKeen Mon 18-Aug-14 20:07:31

Let him have both, it is lovely that he has a gramma willing to do this.
Also, you can make a cake any time, for your birthday, or Easter, or because it is a Friday.

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