to think that a pessimistic attitude can affect fertility and IVF outcomes [title edited by mnhq]

(164 Posts)
crashbandicoot Sun 17-Aug-14 12:58:37

ok this is a provocative title but so many books advocate a mind/body approach, particularly with unexplained IF that I am wondering if my negative thinking "nothing is going to work" is the reason behind my IF? this really concerns me because I thought naively that sex=conception but now it seems my personality/outlook is all wrong!!

based on this I am thinking that I need to have a completely different personality (ie become an optimist rather than a pessimist) if I am ever have a dc - which seems too difficult for me to do.

so in order to understand this better can any pessimists/optimists share their experience and if they felt it hindered or helped them in relation to fertility/IF as the whole issue is so loaded with myths etc...

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 17-Aug-14 13:02:44

I think it's a load of bollocks.

crashbandicoot Sun 17-Aug-14 13:03:47

also to add that:

-- stress is probably a factor, so are optimists less likely to be stressed?
-clearly blocked tubes/zero sperm aren't all in the mind but dealing with these issues constructively might be?

howdoimakehimnoticeme Sun 17-Aug-14 13:04:10

Balls. Like cancer is all in the mind. Or MS is all in the mind. Or deafness is all in the mind.

Load of shite.

EmeraldLion Sun 17-Aug-14 13:04:19

I do believe that 'fertility' to an extent can be affected by your mindset. I only have anecdotal evidence of this, but I have friends who have experienced similar.

With ds1 we were 'trying' but not bothered when it happened. I got pg the first month.

With ds2 we really wanted it to happen. So I did everything right - monitored my periods, used ovulation tests, supplements etc. nothing happened for over a year, and the month we were successful was when we had visitors staying blush meaning I was running around after them and completely forgot to do it at the 'right' times and all that.

So I do believe a relaxed mindset, when you're not completely focused on it, can help.

crashbandicoot Sun 17-Aug-14 13:04:40

thanks Ican is this based on experience?

PervyMuskrat Sun 17-Aug-14 13:04:41

What ICanSeeTheSun said

tippytap Sun 17-Aug-14 13:05:21

Twaddle. Really.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 17-Aug-14 13:05:33

Yabu.

This will not end well.

Flexibilityisquay Sun 17-Aug-14 13:06:18

Sorry, but that is the biggest load of bollocks I have read in a long time. I have tried twice to get pregnant. My mindset was similar both times, possible more positive the second as I'd managed it before. It was no problem the first time, and didn't happen the second. Conception happens when a sperm meets an egg. What you are thinking at the time doesn't make a tiny bit of difference!

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 17-Aug-14 13:07:31

Not on my experience but that of a close friend who spent a lot of money on relaxing therapy and other therapy she did not need.

MiddleEarthBarbie Sun 17-Aug-14 13:09:30

Bollocks.

SunbathingCat Sun 17-Aug-14 13:09:51

I agree that this is rubbish. After my mmc I was completely and naively convinced that I would get pregnant straightaway. After all, I conceived in my first cycle of trying and my doctors told me that women are more fertile after a pregnancy/miscarriage. Months later and nothing has happened.

fuckupperymakeruppery Sun 17-Aug-14 13:10:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Greyhound Sun 17-Aug-14 13:10:14

Made no difference to me. There is a lot of ignorance about IF - the 'relax and it will happen' brigade seem to think that a lot of fertility problems are affected/caused by mental attitude.

The only thing I did different with my fifth pregnancy (after four miscarriages) was to stop taking an antidepressant I was on and I used a Bach rescue remedy that is supposed to stop uterine bleeding. Do I think it made a difference? No. It made me feel better, but it probably didn't have any impact.

Someone on MN recently mentioned 'hyper fertility' which I believe it linked to recurrent early miscarriage - the body accepts embryos that will never make it to birth and that, normally, be rejected from the start. I think I may have had that problem as I got pregnant quickly and easily but four out of five babies did not survive.

ValerieTheVodkaFairy Sun 17-Aug-14 13:10:17

It's rubbish. My DH has a condition which means there is a high chance his sperm are seriously deformed. I doubt any amount of positive thinking can magically sort that out

Swingball Sun 17-Aug-14 13:10:19

I'm an optimistic kind of a person and I still had problems. Trying to be more optimistic can't do any harm though can it?

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 17-Aug-14 13:11:02

In my way of thinking if a women could control thier fertility by the mind why are things like the coil, implanon, depo, pill, patches and other product available to try to prevent this.

Why are there unplanned pregnancy.

iwantavuvezela Sun 17-Aug-14 13:11:58

No. For me sex = conception. But also resulted in 3 miscarriages. (Despite all my bloody positivity of I can do this)After that two bouts of ivf before having my DD. There are thousands of incidents of unwanted pregnancies and not positive mind sets. One of the things I hated on my fertility journey was told to relax, be positive, it will happen. There is certain biology that needs to happen.
What worked for me was learning everything I needed to know and advocating for myself. I wish I had done this sooner rather than listening to each doctor post miscarriage saying it will happen. Trust me it took science and a whole lot of stamina for the journey I took

crashbandicoot Sun 17-Aug-14 13:12:06

Emerald anecdotal is good...
so basically being busy with other things helped?

I have toyed with starting a small business/writing a novel to keep busy.. but then I think what's the point it's not going magic up a baby is it?? or maybe it will??

the whole thing is a headf*ck...

crashbandicoot Sun 17-Aug-14 13:12:10

Emerald anecdotal is good...
so basically being busy with other things helped?

I have toyed with starting a small business/writing a novel to keep busy.. but then I think what's the point it's not going magic up a baby is it?? or maybe it will??

the whole thing is a headf*ck...

ExitPursuedByAKoalaBear Sun 17-Aug-14 13:13:02

Gosh Fuckupp. Harsh.

CustardFromATin Sun 17-Aug-14 13:13:34

It's in the mind the same way that, ooh, cancer and broken arms are in the mind. As in, it's not, though of course positivity is good in dealing with it and finding ways around some of the problems you encounter, though not all of them, and most likely not the fundamental ones.

The science suggests that stress does play a role, but it's long term sustained stress (e.g living in a refugee camp on Syria / in an abusive relationship) not smaller or one off stresses. This is how (a) women end up blaming themselves and (b) some arses think that women can't fall pregnant from rape (which they can - which in itself is surely a sign that misery and stress alone cannot cause infertility).

Take care of yourself because it is important and you deserve it, not because anything in your outlook is causing any of this.

hazeyjane Sun 17-Aug-14 13:14:25

I also think it is a crock.

Fuckuppery, I dont think the op is saying this is her view, and she is also struggling with infertility (have I got that right, op?)

Nancy66 Sun 17-Aug-14 13:16:01

absolute shit.

I think a positive attitude is useful when you are diagnosed with something but that's about it.

I was infertile because my womb was a mass of scar tissue.

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