To think that lots of people do suck up to people who have money?

(36 Posts)
cithkadston Fri 15-Aug-14 18:30:13

And to wonder why this happens a lot? Before I start my post, I'm not jealous, this is just something that I have noticed happening in general, and the psychology behind it interests me.

When DD1 was at primary school there were two children whose families were generally perceived as wealthy. These children always got the lead parts in everything and were always chosen to do nice things at school, and the mums were treated like queens by lots of the other mums, practically wetting themselves with excitement if the mums spoke to them, or if their DC was invited to a party of one of the rich children.

On forums and facebook groups that I have been on, the top dogs are usually women that come across as being well off, and who post nice photos on Facebook of nice things they own and have done.

The top dog of my NCT group when I had DD1 is well off, and once again she was treated like a queen and allowed to totally dominate things by the majority of the group.

Also someone that I have known for years met and moved in with her wealthy partner about 3 years ago, and has had a baby, and seems to have acquired a lot of fans since she got together with him, with lots of people telling her on Facebook how fantastic and gorgeous she is.

AIBU to wonder why this happens? Has anyone else noticed this?

MrsWinnibago Fri 15-Aug-14 18:42:34

You're not wrong but the thing is, it's only a certain TYPE of person who sucks up to rich people. I've seen it too. It doesn't bother me because I don't get impressed by money at all....and nor do I get affected by others who ARE impressed. Just ignore.

simontowers2 Fri 15-Aug-14 18:48:30

I've got plenty of wad and nobody seems to suck up to me envy

frames Fri 15-Aug-14 18:49:07

Agree with pp...its a type that sucks up to £. Mistaking £ for sucess happiness etc. Like it might rub off!! Also a type that are chippy about those with more £. Leave them all to get on with it.

cithkadston Fri 15-Aug-14 18:52:27

I can't say the amount of money someone has really bothers me; I like who I like, regardless of their income and lifestyle, and have friends from a huge variety of different backgrounds.

However, I find it both cringy and fascinating to watch others kissing butt!

LePetitPont Fri 15-Aug-14 18:52:27

Interesting. I would interpret it as more that people suck up t those who exude confidence and glamour - andante it is easier to project those attributes, or perceive someone has them, if they are more wealthy?

LePetitPont Fri 15-Aug-14 18:53:18

Andante = and. Not sure why the pesky iphone has introduced musical terminology!

Roseformeplease Fri 15-Aug-14 18:54:13

I prefer friends who have similar amounts of wedge. We can eat chips together and cook each other value mince while drinking own brand lager and talking about our camping holidays.

chanie44 Fri 15-Aug-14 19:02:01

I'm going to turn this on its head, slightly with two theories:

1. Rich people, especially self made ones, are probably more likely to be confident and have good social skills, in order to have made or at least retained their money. As they are a particular type of person, they probsbly would have had cling-ones even if they were poor.

2. Big fish, small pond - these types of people like having people fawn all over them, so they associate themselves with poorer people. If they tried to 'move up' and associate with rich people, they may become the 'poor ones'.

Just a theory, but thought I'd put it out there.

simon Will you be my best friend? You're soooooo very good looking!!!!

ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh Fri 15-Aug-14 19:29:50

I would question whether people who seem wealthy really are, though. Plenty of seriously rich people do not show it at all until they suddenly retire at 45. Plenty of people who seem rich are living on debt. You just never know, so it can't be about real wealth but perceived status. Iyswim.

DogCalledRudis Fri 15-Aug-14 20:01:04

Some people, including children, can get very manipulative. If they smell you're better off, they'll want to be invited to your place, get treats, hand-me-down items, etc.

Maisyblue Fri 15-Aug-14 20:09:26

I've noticed this too, it's like if you go shopping dressed down compared to dressed up in your best clothes, you just get treated different by shop assistants.

winkywinkola Fri 15-Aug-14 20:11:05

Agree with op.

Parents who are loaded at dcs' school get acolytes. It's kind of revolting to see. Plus the loaded parents are really quite snooty.

Missunreasonable Fri 15-Aug-14 20:13:10

Simon : you could give me your cash in order to prove OPs theory. I will reluctantly take it all of your hands grin

Openup41 Fri 15-Aug-14 20:17:57

I agree that some people like to hang on to those they perceive to be wealthy.

A friend and her husband are very comfortable. The way some people suck up to them is embarrassing.

Do people think the wealth will somehow rub off on them?

newfavouritething Fri 15-Aug-14 20:19:49

haha yes - one of the mums at school only started talking to me when we changed our car and she found out where we lived. She's horrid.

Openup41 Fri 15-Aug-14 20:20:21

It can be likened to the pretty girl at school; the girls want to be associated with her and the boys want to date her.

Openup41 Fri 15-Aug-14 20:23:13

newfavourite
There are a few snooty mothers at my dc school. You can spot them a mile off. They have already made up their minds on who their wonderful dc will invite home for playdates/tea. They loudly boast about their dc's ballet/drama/dance class while we wait to collect them.

expatinscotland Fri 15-Aug-14 20:31:52

Not noticed this. But I don't know any very wealthy people, either.

needaholidaynow Fri 15-Aug-14 20:32:05

I don't know. I tend to get a bit intimidated by people with a lot more money than me. I certainly don't go out of my way to suck up to them.

ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh Fri 15-Aug-14 21:13:08

People with perceived power get this too. The wives of the headmaster and deputy head at our school have lots of fans, and have to be quite careful to keep themselves out of trouble.

Maisyblue Fri 15-Aug-14 21:17:18

I also tend to steer away from people with lots of money, I don't know if it's an inferiority thing or that I just get on with people who I can identify with...skint ones like me.

4boysxhappy Fri 15-Aug-14 21:18:10

Yes this is true.

We have a large house and look on the outside to have money (we don't)

Anyway some people find out you live in that house and suddenly they are friendly, ask your advice on everything (???), want to socialise, etc

wasabipeanut Fri 15-Aug-14 21:31:56

It's odd but it does happen. A good friend of mine lives in a house which can only be described as "high profile" in our community. They took a punt on restoring it and there were also other risk factors which I won't go into because I don't want to out them but people do suck up because of the house. They also assume they are considerably wealthier than they actually are.

It's all quite interesting. I have found that some types will try to,ingratiate themselves with those who they perceive to to be wealthy but if the cash is accompanied by "poshness" they are more likely to run a mile.

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