AIBU to request petrol money?(43 Posts)
Going away to today with some friends for a long weekend
no kids and panicking.
It's about a 300 mile round trip and I'm driving as I have the biggest car.
AIBU to ask the others for petrol money? None of them have offered any and I'm not very confident so don't know if i can just come put and ask them directly.
I've dropped a few hints but none of them have picked up on it
or are ignoring the hint on purpose.
Anyone got a nice way to ask?
Me too Sandboy - it's about 3/4 tank for me, about £42 so I'd look for maybe a tenner per person for the trip.
To be blunt, I'd have sorted it out before now if you're truly fussed about it - if only because if I wanted to NOT take the car, either on principle or genuinely couldn't afford the petrol, it'd cost me more than the £42 on a train fare for the same distance at this short notice.
Depends on your relationship with the friends how you address it now - there's some I'd take a "oi tight arse ...." text from, and plenty I wouldn't ;-)
300 miles is less than a tank in my car.
So I would send a text now, bright and breezy, asking whether they'd rather you worked out an approximate petrol cost from a google map distance, or whether they rather you started the trip full and they split the cost of refilling you at the end of the return journey.
To those saying to get them to pay for a full tank at the beginning and end, that would mean her friends double paying! The right thing to do is for them to put her back in the same position at the end of the trip - easiest if the start and end position is a full tank. But the friends only contribute to the second fill up!
Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles
20 miles per tank maybe but not 20MPG.
She has a brand new top of the range Audi
A V10 R8 Spyder - nice!
Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles.
I don't think it's rude to expect people to pay the difference on a journey that long.
The thing with texting is that all of them could ignore both texts and then you are none the wiser and it's an unspoken 'issue'. Only you know what they're like though, OP.
Can you ring?
I would text them all today and say 'Are we okay splitting the petrol costs x amount of ways? I reckon it will work out at about £10 (eg) each, is that okay? xx
Then it's a direct question that needs an answer and if they don't want to pay they will either say so or ignore it - if anyone ignores then you an send a follow up text saying 'We are okay splitting the petrol cost aren't we? I can't afford to fill up myself!! xx'
I wouldn't discuss it with my friends until I'm in the car. I just ask how much they want when we're on our way.
No need for it to be a thing and they'd be incredibly presumptious to assume that you're lumping the cost - unless you're all loaded.
I go kayaking a lot & have a car full - I've never yet had anyone fail to offer.
I tend to fill up before we go, when we get there top the tank back up to full & double that cost - that's how much you've got to split between you.
Normally I don't end up paying for fuel at all as I'm doing all the driving and the ferrying around while we're there....
I go away with friends in September and one drives to the airport about an hour away. We all give petrol money - it would be rude not to. We put it in an envelope in her bag - she doesn't and shouldn't have to ask.
Of course people should pay petrol money! It's extremely rude of them not to offer, don't even ack if they are going to give just work it out and divide it by the number of people. Use a fuel economy site or Michelin route planner, you can put in miles, size of engine etcetera, we did a road trip to Italy this year and it was very accurate.
When is the wedding, OP? How many are fitting in the car? Are they reliable friends who have pId their way before? What do you estimate it will cost?
If you don't feel comfortable asking for money, could your car have to go in for an emergency repair? Ring all the others and explain and say that you are desperately sorry and if anyone can drive-of course you'll pay £15/30 petrol (as that's what you'd estimated it to be) or you'll be getting the train.
Please don't just drive anyway, but not ask for money-you'll be really pissed off afterwards.
I'm going away for the weekend once the dc are back at school with a friend. She has a brand new top of the range Audi, She is driving so I get to sit in fabulous luxury but I offered petrol money immediately. If people have manners they would offer straight away.
Just work out how much petrol is and ask for the cash. I would be hugely grateful that your driving.
Then again some people are arseholes. An ex colleague of mine asked me if I wanted to go with her to see her BF play in a football match. It was 1.5 hours drive, she didn't drive and she wouldn't have offered petrol. I had been taken advantage of by. her before with lifts to work.
If nobody is going to contribute then say you're getting the train, at least then you can read a book all the way!
In that case definitely be up front and specific about splitting the cost - and as the driver I'd be pretty miffed if they didn't shout me a coffee / lunch on the way as well. There is no embarrassment about this - why on earth should you meet the cost by yourself, or be "compensated" by a couple of drinks at the wedding?
She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back
Why not? She should know roughly what kind of fuel consumption she'll get on a run and work it out. It's not rocket science! Without even knowing what car it is I can make a rough estimate of £45. I could tell you within a couple of pounds what either of my cars would cost to complete a particular journey.
Exactly! And no we're not splitting any costs... All paying for everything ourselves! We'll meet with more people when we're there over the weekend (it's a work wedding). Most are sharing hotel rooms but I paid a bit extra to have my own!
Is it this weekend? Get it sorted now, before they set foot in your car. Once the weekend is over, you won't get it back.
Whatever you do, don't fill up and ask for the money afterwards. Inform them how much it will be and that you will be going to the
Petrol station. People are notoriously forgetful when it comes to handing over money in my experience.
Are you going to be sharing good or other bills ? If so you could suggest a kitty for the petrol food etc.
Saying that the others MIGHT be planning to pay for something tale is a bit of a stretch if it hasn't been discussed. And anyway a bottle of cheap plonk or a cream tea probably won't be anyway near the costs of the petrol for a long round trip like that in a large fully laden car.
So how about a text - how are we splitting the costs do you want to have a kitty for the food and the petrol etc £xx each to start out as I've got to fill the car or do you just want to split the petrol ? Let me know before we leave as I'm going up fill up after I've picked you all up.
I think the she's going anyway argument is false because the others would still have had to drive/ bus /train and the OP said she's cm driving as she's got the bigger car so I assume the others have also got cars so could go by them selves.
Also you have to concentrate you can't doze off read a book play on your phone etc when driving so it's not as relaxing.
Yanbu can you go and fill up as you go out and get them to pay then fill up on way back and ask for money again. Don't feel guilty if it's a bit over as you have done all the driving it's only fair.
You'd have the same petrol costs if going alone so I'd wait for them to offer.
She would probably not be going on her own and if she was, would have costed the full cost of fuel into her calculations.
i once went on holiday with my husband. he invited his friend and his wife.
we hired a car as well as taking mine....boys fishing in my car, us in the hire car sightseeing. I drove everywhere, every day. i bought all the petrol and everything.
at the end of the holiday the hire car had been damaged, and they wanted £350. they all stood there and let me pay. (i was the only one with any means to pay -credit card)
they never offered. i was so offended i never asked. Havent spoken to either of them for 10 years since the trip.
It was no loss to us (freeloaders asked DH if they could come away with us again...!)
Lizard I'd be miffed too, especially as the OP seems to have mentioned it several times already via hints.
She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back and it will be less than a tank full anyway if the whole journey is 300 miles.
Maybe I just have friends that don't not pick over every penny and we just get on with it. We always do it fairly without looking mean
Of course you are not being unreasonable to ask for a cost to be split; I'd ask for it to be split between them as you are the one driving.
I'd possibly go to a petrol station and ask how they are splitting the petrol costs and if there were arguments they would be driven straight back home again.
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