WWYD if your 15 year old daughter...

(143 Posts)
MrsAtticus Wed 13-Aug-14 20:22:50

brought home a 22 year old boyfriend?
(sorry it's not actually an aibu)

Liara Wed 13-Aug-14 20:24:24

Depends on so many things...your daughter, the bf, your relationship with her, how you view their relationship...I could carry on and on.

TattyDevine Wed 13-Aug-14 20:26:04

Really not sure, but I do know from experience of my own behaviours in the past that its pretty difficult to keep them apart.

It doesn't necessarily mean they might get sexual but she could with someone her own age anyway...

Tricky.

ADHDNoodles Wed 13-Aug-14 20:26:49

Call the police, file a restraining order. That's statutory rape if they have sex.

This is one of the few things I'd crack down hard on. He's an adult and knows what he's doing. She's still a child.

ADHDNoodles Wed 13-Aug-14 20:28:03

To put this in better perspective. When he was your DD's age, she was 8.

Yuck.

mamalovesmojitos Wed 13-Aug-14 20:29:13

I would come down as hard as I could to put a stop to it. Completely inappropriate age gap IMO.

HappyAgainOneDay Wed 13-Aug-14 20:29:15

Is it he her first boyfriend?

Janethegirl Wed 13-Aug-14 20:29:15

Young adult males are generally much more immature than girls of an equivalent age. I'd just watch carefully because at least the daughter is keeping the parents informed, many don't.

MrsAtticus Wed 13-Aug-14 20:29:30

Thanks, due to the lovely concern in your posts I should make it known that I was the daughter - a long time ago - so no action needed! Just trying to gain some perspective.

ramrod757 Wed 13-Aug-14 20:29:57

I don't think statutory rape exists in the UK.

AnyFucker Wed 13-Aug-14 20:30:05

How did your parents react then, MrsA

victoryinthekitchen Wed 13-Aug-14 20:30:19

7 years is a big age difference when you're 15, I'd be curious why he's going for some one so young? Can you find out about previous girlfriends? It's a delicate one as she will probably be very defensive.

MaidOfStars Wed 13-Aug-14 20:31:41

My father would have bounced him out the door and I would have been grounded indefinitely.

Having said that, at 15, I'm not sure where I'd have socialised with a 22 year old man for him to become a boyfriend....

VisitTheInfidelWithExplanatory Wed 13-Aug-14 20:31:48

All my boyfriends were 21/22 when I was 15. My parents were ok with it.

gamerchick Wed 13-Aug-14 20:31:49

I'd get to know him and feel happy she was comfortable bringing him home.

Going in gung Ho will means it will last longer than it might naturally...I would observe behaviours in other areas of her life and see if the lessons I've taught her were good enough.

drivingmisspotty Wed 13-Aug-14 20:32:11

What did your parents do?

sugaryonthesurface Wed 13-Aug-14 20:32:26

Itd be hard to deter her from seeing him,perhaps you could spend some time getting to know and working out what he is like and then you will know what you have to worry about. If you say you dislike him she will like him more so you have got to be clever about it, but yeah tbh id be pretty befuddled if it was my situation and my child...

gamerchick Wed 13-Aug-14 20:32:28

And keep the lines of communication open as much as I can so she didn't clam up.

MaidOfStars Wed 13-Aug-14 20:33:51

I don't think statutory rape exists in the UK
Pretty certain it does...

Vitalstatistix Wed 13-Aug-14 20:33:56

Id wonder why the hell a 22 year old man was interested in a 15 year old kid. And id be making sure he knew how i felt for a start!
What did your parents do?

PortofinoRevisited Wed 13-Aug-14 20:33:58

I wouldn't have called the police. Christ. I would have talked to my daughter. A LOT.

adviceforme Wed 13-Aug-14 20:37:48

This was me many years ago too.

But I wasnt far off 16. I did wait until I was 16 to have sex.

I stayed with him for 3.5 years.

I grew up and realsied how immature and lacking he was for hte older me.

HumblePieMonster Wed 13-Aug-14 20:38:12

15 girl to 22 man isn't a big age gap but it is against the law so I would be firm that they had to put the relationship on hold for a while, and would make sure the girl wasn't out of my sight for a minute.

fawltydoge Wed 13-Aug-14 20:40:36

statutory rape doesn't exist in the uk

Ev1lEdna Wed 13-Aug-14 20:41:17

So it was you OP? How did your parents react. I'm not sure to be honest I always dated men/boys older than me until current and long-term OH. I have 2 boys and I do think I would be concerned if one of them had a 15 year old girlfriend at the age of 22 and I'd probably voice my concern to them.

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