to think that the sex end curriculum should be updated...

(19 Posts)
CheerfulYank Tue 05-Aug-14 23:05:27

...to include things like, if you have children, you may eventually find yourself saying in horror, "we do NOT eat our poo"? Because I didn't know. <weeps>

What else would you add? (Lighthearted obvs)

Buy seriously, the poo eating. <vom> I guarantee the teens I know would be buying condoms by the truckload if they had to deal with my toddler for a bit.

<goes off in search of wine>

CheerfulYank Tue 05-Aug-14 23:06:23

*but angry

LeBearPolar Tue 05-Aug-14 23:07:10

I would point out that once you have children, indeed that is the end of sex grin

HappySeaTurtles Tue 05-Aug-14 23:11:18

There, in fact, is such a thing as too much lube. grin

CheerfulYank Tue 05-Aug-14 23:15:16

I'd also tell them a story (also poo related) about the medicine I had to take for my morning sickness. Worked a treat, but the constipation was unlike anything I've ever encountered before.

Ended up (look away if you're squeamish) trying to push out a baseball sized poo that would go either up nor down. It took hours. I was on the toilet crying and sweating as DH tried to reassure me. (Ah, romance!) I seriously thought I was going to have to go have it surgically removed, or something!

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 05-Aug-14 23:17:54

DD1 was very puzzled by their lessons that waffled on and in about puberty, but failed to mention why it happens.

Nothing about preparing the body for sex and reproduction, just the mechanics of puberty it's self.

CofE school, but so is her DFs and they do it properly!

LilyandGinger Tue 05-Aug-14 23:18:17

That parenthood means that you are the person whose job it is to clean up the poo mashed in across at least 2 metres of carpet. and to always be suspicious of a silent child

mumminio Tue 05-Aug-14 23:28:09

Do not be surprised when birth control doesn't work. It isn't 100% even when used correctly (which is often isn't). Ergo only bonk people whose children you would gladly bear.

CheerfulYank Tue 05-Aug-14 23:45:21

I remember after I had DS, I was genuinely shocked when I had a migraine and just had to soldier on...the baby still needed a mom!

I don't know what I thought would happen. That there was some sort of service that came? grin

I reckon that us having 3 younger DCs after a gap between them and the two older ones is what has stopped DH and I being grandparents yet. PFB and no2 son are all too well aware of exactly what's involved with pregnancy and newborns, and toddlers in the house.
A "real live baby" at close quarters for any length of time is the best contraception there is!

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine Wed 06-Aug-14 00:55:12

pom so sgree. Our older ones were 9/10 when the dds came. Think it's put them off for life.

When dds were teens I child minded. Cunning plan.

See I won't ever be a granny ha ha.

vvviola Wed 06-Aug-14 01:02:29

pom my two (3 & 7) perform that function for a friend's two teenage girls.

My two are generally good, but a little over excitable and the adore meeting up with the two teens. The teens adore my two, but are always absolutely shattered after an afternoon of hide and seek, preventing the 3 year old from climbing everything and anything, and listening to the 7yo constant unrelenting chatter. My friend regularly thanks me for providing the reality check grin

I think sex ed class should tell you that will catch more illnesses and be sicker than you ever remember when your kids are at that lovely germy under-5 stage .... and then you'll still have to drag yourself out of bed to look after them.

Lally112 Wed 06-Aug-14 01:11:23

I hate to burst all your bubbles but I got pregnant at 15 (and had been sexually active since 13), No amount of poo talk, migraines, babysitting, crying or sweating would have made me stop sleeping with my boyfriend (who is now DH) because I knew everything and there wasn't a damn thing any grown up could tell me.

Birth control?? Who needs that? I'm invincible and I know what I'm dong. None of this would have happened to me - only other people and I would be soooo much better than anyone else even if it did right???? hahaha EPIC FAILURE!!

Pushing 30 with more grey hair than me or my bottle of Clairol will ever admit.

CheerfulYank Wed 06-Aug-14 03:08:47

Well it seems to have worked out for you Lally smile

Lally112 Wed 06-Aug-14 03:41:04

hahaha of course it has, because hemming trousers at twenty to 4 in the morning is exactly how I pictured my life in highschool. I don't think I would change it though, and I'm still not fab at taking a telling either. Oh well some of us never learn,

But had you actually had all those things Lally ? Or was your vision just a sweet little baby smiling and adorable. I appreciate just telling teens stuff doesn't work (I was a bit of a tearway myself, and it is truly "There but for the Grace of God go I, that I didn't have a baby younger than I was- I was 19 with pfb) but perhaps if you'd literally "smelled the poop" grin and washed it out of your clothes/hair/fingernails it might have made you a bit more inclined to be careful so to speak?
That said, I was totally gung ho and "it won't be ME" too. Had I known exactly what caring for a newborn and toddler entailed though, I would SO have been LOTS more careful than I was! grin
And I reckon if we could give teens a small taste of exactly how childbirth and labour feel (1st time round especially) the birthrate would halve grin

Lally112 Thu 07-Aug-14 01:08:14

Oh yes - I did, I done the poo and the spew, the constant crying and the getting your mouth pee'd in (little boys and nappy changing) but I was defiant. You literally couldn't tell me anything, I was right and the world was wrong, I knew it all.

I was an AWFUL teenager and I wasn't just like this about boys and sex, there were pills powders and potions of all sorts, parties with older boys, alcohol, cars, the works. Paying for it now with DD1 who has somehow become me at a younger age. Dreading when she hits teenage years. Genuinely didn't believe I would get pregnant either, my teenage head said that only happened to other people.

The upside is I got pregnant to someone wonderful and married him. Spending our 30's arguing over who used whos fuel in what car and who used the last of the milk or ate all the bread with 4 wonderful DCs now. That was sheer luck. When I look at some of the other creeps from back then my heart races to think my eldest could have had one of them for a father.

In fact that's what I would like to add to the sex ed curriculum - look at the person you are sleeping with... how do you think a child would feel with them as a parent?

CheerfulYank Thu 07-Aug-14 01:25:10

Lally that would be a really useful thing to add!

I think that sometimes. I've got a friend who is constantly fighting with her DDs father, about who gets her for what holiday, whose house she left her gym shoes at, what bad influences have been allowed around her, etc etc. It is just a miserable situation and it for the rest if their lives, or at least until she's an adult.

Lally112 Thu 07-Aug-14 01:36:18

That's the one thing I think is most poignant, I grew up and changed the person I was (to an extent - the firecrackers in there somewhere), curbed the bad influences, partying, other things but your childs father is tied to you and them for life. DH is wonderful, a really involved, fun, responsible father but it could have been so different and like you said its the rest of their lives. The children suffer and they didn't ask for it.

I think that's what I am ashamed most of. The rest could be chalked up to teenage BS but maybe if people not just teenagers realised that parents have to (or should be) involved for life and made sure the other person was fit to be a parent first.

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