To refuse to give my cousin a lift home when she has a broken leg?

(170 Posts)
NatJon Tue 05-Aug-14 22:33:43

I was in my aunts house today visiting and her daughter, my cousin (27), came down with her 2 yo ds. My cousin has broken her leg so obviously can't drive. Her dp dropped her and their ds down and it was arranged he would pick them up again after he finished a job (self employed electrician).

After 2 hours I was about to leave when my cousin asked me if I would give her and her ds a lift home as her ds was getting bored and tired and she thought her dp would have been back by now. I said no problem as long as there was a spare car seat. My aunt has lots of grandchildren and usually there is is a spare one lying around.

The spare one was being used by another family member but cousin still insisted on a lift home. She lives 5 mins away by car but I was very uncomfortable travelling with her ds without a car seat. I told her this but she just kept saying over and over that it would be ok and she would belt him up, keep a hold of him etc. that he was getting cranky and I was being mean not helping her when she had a broken leg, it's only 5 minutes. I put my foot down and said no, it wasn't happening. Cousin got very angry and started swearing at me saying I was being a fucking prick. My aunt told her to stop talking to me like that but she continued.

She is never like this so it was quite upsetting for me to hear. After about 10 mins, thankfully her dp comes to collect them and the ds can travel safely.

I feel a bit bad I couldn't take them home when her ds was unsettled but thought it more
Important that he be protected in the event of a crash. Cousin obviously thought I was being unreasonable.

FullOfChoc Tue 05-Aug-14 22:35:25

YANBU No way would I have taken a 2 yo without a car seat.

Ainmnua Tue 05-Aug-14 22:38:07

YANBU

WooWooOwl Tue 05-Aug-14 22:39:59

YANBU.

Janethegirl Tue 05-Aug-14 22:40:03

YANBU no way would I do that nowadays, back in the 1980s maybe.

MyPrettyToes Tue 05-Aug-14 22:40:44

YANBU. Well done. It takes a second for a catastrophic accident to occur.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 05-Aug-14 22:41:05

yanbu but she may be extra pissed off because she has a broken leg.

wheresthelight Tue 05-Aug-14 22:42:27

Yanbu!! She is a bloody idiot for even contemplating travelling without a car seat. Apart from anything else it would be you that would lose your license

FrankSaysNo Tue 05-Aug-14 22:43:38

fucking prick no one says this IRL but it's all over MN.

Get a better quality of relative.

Purpleroxy Tue 05-Aug-14 22:43:48

Yanbu. You would have been breaking the law taking a 2yo without a car seat.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine Tue 05-Aug-14 22:44:07

You were completely right op. I guess she felt bad because of her leg. Sure she will apologise.

flipflopsandcottonsocks Tue 05-Aug-14 22:44:13

YANBU AT ALL! No way should anyone allow a 2yo in a car with no car seat, regardless of distance. Well done for standing your ground.

queenofthemountain Tue 05-Aug-14 22:44:25

I would have taken them.
Legally there is no legal requirement for one-off unforeseen journeys to have a car seat (as in taxis)
Secondly it's only 5 minutes.What was the chances of having an accident.When I was a kid no one had car seats.There weren't even seatbelts in the back.I never heard of anyone killed or injured .
Thirdly, your cousin is up against it.I would have thought a bit of relief to her much more outweighed the infinitessimal risk of injury during one 5 mjinute drive.

NatJon Tue 05-Aug-14 22:46:09

Thanks everyone. I sort of knew I wasn't being unreasonable but tbh felt bad not helping her when she has a broken leg. Oh well at least the ds got home safely.

ExcuseTypos Tue 05-Aug-14 22:47:14

No I wouldn't take a two year old without a car seat.

She's an idiot for asking you over and over, when you'd said you weren't comfortable with it.

sunbathe Tue 05-Aug-14 22:52:46

Why didn't she phone her dp?

NatJon Tue 05-Aug-14 22:52:46

queen no, nothing probably would have happened but I didn't want to take the risk.

NatJon Tue 05-Aug-14 22:54:22

sunbathe she said she didn't want to ring him while he was doing a job in someone's house. confused

I've taken a 2 year old on an unexpected, short journey when her mother injured her leg. It was me or a taxi and the taxi wouldn't have had a car seat either.

It's not illegal in those circumstances. However, I would have tried to find out how long her DH was going to be and I would prefer not to be put in that position. The alternative was for a fractious child to wait a bit, not the bed of the world.

My DF broke his neck in a car accident that happened about four hundred yards from our house. He was lucky to survive with the only lasting damage being a permanent loss of sensation in the left hand side of his body. Nobody knows what is around the corner.

Cataline Tue 05-Aug-14 23:05:17

Queenofthemountain What a load of ignorant claptrap!
OP- YWDNBU

BreadForBrains Tue 05-Aug-14 23:09:16

She was rude to have, well, been so rude.
Aside from the rudeness, I'd have done it without a seconds thought. For a one off 5 minute journey.
Yanbu that you didn't feel comfortable doing it, just saying I would have.

BreadForBrains Tue 05-Aug-14 23:10:35

I have taken my ds (also 2) in a taxi without a car seat on many occasions. As I have done with my other dc. Statically possibly equally as likely to have an accident? I don't actually know, just wondering.

VitoCorleone Tue 05-Aug-14 23:10:35

Nope, i wouldn't take a 2 year old in my car without a car seat either.

soverylucky Tue 05-Aug-14 23:13:10

As it was not an emergency yanbu.

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