To think this is way beyond ‘harmless flirting’

(70 Posts)
hellothere1202 Tue 05-Aug-14 19:53:34

DH emailing colleague about product photos she was going to be sending, talking about sets/pairs of stuff and he said ‘you could always add a photo of your pair if you like’, she replied ‘you wish’ and he said ‘was worth a try, you have a good set!’

AIBU to be furious at him for this? He says that’s harmless flirting.

CeliaFate Tue 05-Aug-14 19:56:30

It would depend on their relationship, whether he's like this with other people too, if he's okay with you seeing the email etc.
It's not great, but it could be just banter. I once emailed a colleague with the subject title "Huge baps" and then posted a photo of 2 bread rolls. It was a running joke - he emailed me a "Pair of tits" - 2 birds. We both have the same puerile sense of humour, it meant nothing but brightened up a boring day.
If it bothers you, speak to him. I think his reaction to your anger would be the most important thing.

BakerStreetSaxRift Tue 05-Aug-14 19:56:35

Not only is it disrespectful to you, it's disrespectful to her.

He sounds like a total creep.

Miffytastic Tue 05-Aug-14 19:56:43

I'd be cross

Rivercam Tue 05-Aug-14 19:57:33

Seems to be stepping over the line slightly.

BookABooSue Tue 05-Aug-14 19:57:44

Meh if it's so harmless, ask him how he would feel if someone emailed that to you.
I'd also point out that it's probably enough for her to take to hr if she wanted to make a complaint against him. It's that inappropriate.

shock I would be livid if DH did something similar.

Does he have form for this? Is he generally a very flirty person?

U2TheEdge Tue 05-Aug-14 19:59:09

Yeah, creep.

Affair or not, that would make me lose all respect for him. Yuck.

I am sorry OP.

AlpacaYourThings Tue 05-Aug-14 19:59:12

It's quite odd to just start talking to a female colleague about her breasts.

BuildYourOwnSnowman Tue 05-Aug-14 19:59:59

That is so inappropriate to say to a colleague. Regardless of what he is like socially you can't behave the same way with a colleague

Yuck

I wouldn't be happy at all if DP sent something like that!

How would your DH like it if you were sending messages to a male colleague asking for a picture of his cock because he had a nice one? ... Probably not a lot I'd wager.

Your DH is being a sleaze.

FluffyPingPong Tue 05-Aug-14 20:01:00

YANBU. Definitely out of order!

Azquilith Tue 05-Aug-14 20:02:00

Over the line.

hoobypickypicky Tue 05-Aug-14 20:02:06

It depends how you found out I suppose. If your DH made you party to the emails I'd take it that it was no big secret and just a bit of harmless (if not to my taste) 'fun'. If you came across emails which he was keeping from you that's a different thing altogether.

Bearbehind Tue 05-Aug-14 20:07:45

I'm actually really laid back about most things but that is pervy and revolting and completely inappropriate for a work conversation.

It doesn't sound like she encouraged him either.

Definitely NBU.

HappySeaTurtles Tue 05-Aug-14 20:08:59

How would your DH like it if you were sending messages to a male colleague asking for a picture of his cock because he had a nice one? ... Probably not a lot I'd wager.

If they were talking about roosters, I think it would be harmless dirty joking. My parents have towels with roosters on them and we call them cock towels when we see them. Oddly, they're never out when we come over anymore. grin

But that aside, you need to be careful with flirting with a colleague like that. She could easily get him for sexual harassment.

You keep out everything but silly and pun jokes in the workplace. Crude or offensive jokes are for your off time in good company.

If you're not ok with it, then it's not harmless flirting.

crazyspaniel Tue 05-Aug-14 20:10:21

Gross. I bet he has the reputation of being the office creep. I can't imagine any of my male colleagues engaging in "banter" like that.

AlpacaMyBags Tue 05-Aug-14 20:13:14

putting aside the fact that it's completely inappropriate, if the colleague was offended and reported it, he could get into trouble for sexual harassment. I just can't think of anyone who could say this to me without coming across as a creepy old lech.

StickyFloor Tue 05-Aug-14 20:28:14

There is a difference in making a joke about a great pair etc which may be immature but relatively harmless ...... but he totally crossed the line with "you have a good set". This says I have been checking you out and have noticed your chest and like the look of it enough to want to comment on it to you directly. Not on.

Passthesaltdear Tue 05-Aug-14 20:39:52

I don't mind a bit of office banter but this is just plain lecherous. It probably is meaningless flirting but it's still lecherous, clumsy and disrespectful to you sad sad

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 05-Aug-14 20:45:06

He is a bit of a letch isn't he?

Does he know that women at work could get him the sack for that? And that's not considering that they probably think he is a creep.

Backtobedlam Tue 05-Aug-14 20:48:44

It possibly depends on the size of the company/how professional it is and their relationship. Also did your DH show you and include you in the 'joke' or did you see it accidently? I would be annoyed but it does sound like flirting rather than anything going on.

hellothere1202 Tue 05-Aug-14 21:25:00

I was snooping (not suspicious just nosy) he wasn't including me in it.

LilyandGinger Tue 05-Aug-14 21:31:18

Deeply inappropriate, potentially career limiting and just really icky.

Way, way past flirting.

Charley50 Tue 05-Aug-14 21:49:51

Oh I dunno. Some people do have that 'carry on' sense of humour. He was a inappropriate but not sure how pissed off you should be. Some people take any opportunity to make a smutty comment. -- I know I do --

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now