to have had a go at this woman for telling her child my dog was going to bite her?

(116 Posts)
wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:02:15

so, I get out of a lift with my guide dog, only to encounter a woman some ten feet away disciplining a child of about three.

Child was mildly whinging over something, almost as soon as she must have seen me the woman said to her dd: "if you don't stop that now that dog is going to bite you.

Now, I am usually fairly impatient with ignorant members of the public who ask whether the dog can cook/cleans the house (ha ha I wish)/assumes that the dog knows when to cross the road and so on, and will explain patiently how the dog is/isn't trained and what he can/cannot do.

On this occasion however I think the woman's idiocy knew no bounds, so I very calmly, but assertively said to her, in front of her still whinging child, "please don't tell her that. Telling a child that she is going to be bitten by a guide dog is not helpful when your child starts screaming at the prospect of being bitten when potentially coming face to face with my dog in a shop/restaurant/place where he is allowed to be due to the fact he is a guide dog." She replied "well I thought it would make her behave." to which I'm afraid I responded "well that's really not my problem."

I will point out that I never raised my voice to the stupid woman once. But that she was a first class idiot. And no, I don't care if she was at the end of her tether, that's up there with "the policeman will arrest you if you don't behave" and "if you run off you'll be taken by a bad man."

SecretSpy Fri 01-Aug-14 19:03:17

<<<applauds>>>

You were very restrained. She sounds like a right fool.

NatashaBee Fri 01-Aug-14 19:05:40

YANBU. Hate it when parents threaten their children with 'the waitress will tell you off' or similar when it's actually the parent who should be telling the child off!

ICanSeeTheSun Fri 01-Aug-14 19:07:35

When will parents learn that empty threats don't work.

YWNBU at all.

MorrisZapp Fri 01-Aug-14 19:11:08

I thought this too, until I had a kid. Yes, now I threaten him with the lady, the policeman etc. It's to avoid an unpleasant scene in public.

I don't see how it's anybody's business how others discipline their kids, as long as violence isn't involved of course.

MagicMojito Fri 01-Aug-14 19:11:53

I actually think ya being abit u. Your not wrong in what your saying, however your whole post just comes across as mean and rather sneery.

wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:13:07

oops meant to say "fairly patient with" not "impatient".

Have to say I was fuming. It can be bad enough as a guide dog owner to be refused a taxi or as happened to me a couple of weeks ago, access to a restaurant on the grounds of "health and safety" (guide dogs are dealing with that one), but in those instances you can usually deal with them in some way or other either through the organisation if not personally. But there is no legislating for sheer idiocy like that...

Cataline Fri 01-Aug-14 19:15:20

Good for you! Why would anyone threaten a child with something they have no control over and so can't carry out if said child continues to misbehave?! Crap behaviour management and I've never understood parents who do it!

needaholidaynow Fri 01-Aug-14 19:16:01

YANBU. That's that last thing you want to say to a child and instil a fear of dogs in them. My DS is petrified of dogs because of the dog on our street that growls and barks every time we walk past. He wasnt bothered before that dog came along. When we walk past any dog he screams and cries, and once I lost grip of him and he ran in to the road! shock What that woman said was very stupid and it could have made her DD develop a fear of dogs as she thinks they are going to bite her!

wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:16:33

mean in what way exactly? I mean would it have been ok for me to have reacted by saying "yes," and allowing my dog to bite her child? no? then she has no right to use me as a threat if she's not prepared for the threat to be carried through, which of course it won't be. but next time when her child encounters a guide dog in close proximity who is going to be the one having to move the dog out of the way of a potentially screaming child?

AlpacaLypse Fri 01-Aug-14 19:16:50

Morris I'm sure when you think this one through you'll realise how offensive your system might be to OP.

ICanSeeTheSun Fri 01-Aug-14 19:18:13

MorrisZapp I just think it's lazy parenting.

With my 2 DC it's explianation, warning then follow through.

Idontseeanyicegiants Fri 01-Aug-14 19:18:51

YANBU. It's an empty and ridiculous threat and almost guaranteed to cause a fear of dogs in the child! You were very restrained.
An aside but I thought that guide and assistant dogs were already exempt from being barred from places?

YANBU. used to get it a lot when I worked at the toy shop. 'Behave or the lady is going to tell you off'
The poor kid would then stare up at me with wide, tearful eyes.

TBH i'd be scared of me without the threat of a telling off. The bright orange polo shirt uniform was awful with my complexion.

dawndonnaagain Fri 01-Aug-14 19:20:13

I thought this too, until I had a kid. Yes, now I threaten him with the lady, the policeman etc. It's to avoid an unpleasant scene in public.

I have had people tell their children that they will end up like the girl in the chair if they're naughty. I've had people say look, she was naughty, that's why she was there. And you expect me to say nothing? Not a snowballs hope in hell! hmm

Mind, it makes a change from the evangelicals who tell their kids that I must have done something bad in a past life. I don't keep quiet with them, either!

GothMummy Fri 01-Aug-14 19:22:02

She was rather silly! And probably fed up and stressed.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 01-Aug-14 19:31:11

What an overreaction from you op. Have you never heard of people using these sort of tactics to make kids behave of settle down. Sorry but it's you who came up like a crazy woman.

wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:31:23

Idontseeanyicegiants yes they are legally allowed into restaurants/shops/taxi's etc, unfortunately it sometimes happens that the shop/restaurant owners/taxi drivers choose not to adhere to the law or are simply not educated about it.

I've had instances where they've said "no dogs," and I've explained it was a gide dog and been allowed in with no issues, a couple of weeks ago was the first time I've been flatly refused into a restaurant...

hammyspammy Fri 01-Aug-14 19:31:48

YANBU at all, thought the way you dealt with it was just right. Can't stand parents using other people to discipline their kids by proxy and setting a child up to be scared of any dogs without reason, let alone aid dogs, is thoughtless parenting at best.

I've always wanted my child to know I'm the one to be 'scared of' (not in the 'call social services now sense though obviously) - because I'm the one who's there! What happens if the 'man/woman/police/dog over there' you're using walks off? I don't even let my family use me as the 'scary one' to my own dc's, ie saying 'if you don't try spinach Mummy won't let you have pudding' (I step in and say 'actually dd's eaten all her carrots I'm fine with her having pudding thanks') so why I'd want to be anyone else's stand-in, and therefore expect them to be mine, I have no idea!

Very lazy parenting, unless the threat is actually true (once explained to dd that if she carried out her threat to run away I'd have to send the police after her if I couldn't find her which is exactly what would have happened so is fine imo).

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:36:34

coffee I didn't raise my voice to her once.

would it be my responsibility to keep my dog out of her child's way if she encountered it again and started screaming because it might bite her?

This is not a pet dog out of control in a children's playground, this was aworking guide dog, in harnass and under control in a hotel corridor.

where do you draw the line? as someone just said above, is it ok to tell a child that they will "end up like the lady in the chair?" the tactic has no value what so ever, apart from to put the person being used as the threat in a difficult position.

sparkle101 Fri 01-Aug-14 19:38:42

You are so not being unreasonable!!! I work in a shop, I hate hate hate when people threaten their children that I will tell them off. They're your children! You sort them out! I have my own children to deal with.

wannaBe Fri 01-Aug-14 19:42:17

I wonder whether in future people being used as said threat should actually say "oh it's ok darling, carry on I won't do anything..." grin

lljkk Fri 01-Aug-14 19:49:11

oh, I dunno. She was at the end of her tether with a stroppy 3yo. You are over-sensitive about how folk receive your dog. I can't see anybody looking good in this picture.

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