To find this request by Mother of the Bride a bit rude?

(69 Posts)
Vintagejazz Fri 01-Aug-14 15:08:36

My cousin is getting married in Fiji later this year. Naturally it's too far and expensive for most of the relatives to attend but my sister and her husband will be there to represent our family and some other cousins will be attending.

My sister and brother in law will not be able to afford a separate holiday as well but will be staying on in Fiji for ten days after the wedding as will some of the cousins and a few friends of the B&G. They have got a special deal from the hotel.

However my aunt, the mother of the bride, has now contacted those intending to stay and told them that she feels it's unfair of guests to stay in the same hotel and location as the B&G as they are entitled to some privacy and peace on their honeymoon. She has requested that all those intending to stay on in Fiji move to another location on the Island and book into a different hotel.

Apart from the extra cost and inconvenience, surely if you expect people to fly all the way to Fiji for your wedding you would also expect that most of the guests will combine it with a holiday as it's such an expensive trip?

AIBU to think that if the B&G want a private and peaceful honeymoon they should get married at home and then fly to Fiji? (Not that I have any reason to believe this request has come from the couple themselves).

hesterton Fri 01-Aug-14 15:10:16

She is being interfering.

Altinkum Fri 01-Aug-14 15:11:27

She can ask all she wants but unless they are going to foot the bill, then she could shut up!

Incredibly rude not just a bit.

GeneralEyes Fri 01-Aug-14 15:11:54

why are they getting married at the honeymoon location? I thought you get married somewhere and go somewhere else for honeymoon!

deakymom Fri 01-Aug-14 15:11:59

accidentally forward it to the bride and groom

petalunicorn Fri 01-Aug-14 15:12:55

She is being totally unreasonable. I wonder if this is just her opinion though, not the bride or groom?

Or maybe they are getting married in Fuji to get away from everyone and din't expect anyone to actually come??

QuintessentiallyQS Fri 01-Aug-14 15:13:55

Silly woman. Who stays on to honeymoon at their wedding venue?

The couple should perhaps honeymoon elsewhere.

I'd tell her to fuck off.

If the hotel are giving them a special deal, it's unfair to expect the guests to go elsewhere, where they probably will have to spend more. Unless of course, she's willing to pay the difference!

And she has no right to dictate where anyone else stays.

I doubt the other guests are going to interfere with the couple's honeymoon, they'll want to do their own thing.

So to repeat, she should be told to fuck off.

sooperdooper Fri 01-Aug-14 15:14:19

Do the bride and groom even know she's asked that? It's bloody rude, although I have heard of people getting married abroad and then not wanting their guests to stay in the same hotel before, so it's not a new one

Tell her to get stuffed, and make sure the B&G are aware that she's interfering

QuintessentiallyQS Fri 01-Aug-14 15:14:29

ah, great minds think alike...

indigo18 Fri 01-Aug-14 15:14:34

She is BVU. We (DH and teenage DTs) attended a wedding in the Carribbean and stayed on for the remainder of the holiday in the same hotel as B&G. we were all set to do our own thing- along with another family we knew, but B&G were horrified and wanted us all to do some boat trips to other islands, meals together etc.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 01-Aug-14 15:14:57

SIBU. They're flying all the way to bloody Fuji! She should at least appreciate that.

CheerfulYank Fri 01-Aug-14 15:16:09

No way. Tell her to do one.

CheerfulYank Fri 01-Aug-14 15:16:34

When did people get so bloody precious about their wedding anyway, BTW?!

QuintessentiallyQS Fri 01-Aug-14 15:18:45

Can the attending family book elsewhere (and not attend the wedding then) seeing as they are wanted just for a party and gift donation?

mom1983 Fri 01-Aug-14 15:18:51

Very rude, if she is that bothered tell her to pay for the b&g to go elsewhere. You and other guests are massively going out of your way and expense to be apart of their day, least they can do is let you have the special deal... doubting b&g know of this email though.

nicename Fri 01-Aug-14 15:20:55

I'd zip over to NZ to be honest. Fiji is rather boring.

Joysmum Fri 01-Aug-14 15:21:36

Is this coming from the bride and groom, or the mother?

DidoTheDodo Fri 01-Aug-14 15:23:42

Dear Mother of the lovely bride
You think that we should go and hide
And not be seen by bride and groom
But book another hotel room.
However, we do not agree.
Intending to enjoy Fiji.

Vintagejazz Fri 01-Aug-14 15:24:28

As far as we're aware it's coming from the mother. My own mother is very annoyed about it and has advised my sister to just go ahead with her holiday and make it very clear they have no intention of hanging out of the B&G or suggesting group activities every day. If they all end up sitting by the pool, so what? The B&G can still go their separate way for meals, trips etc.

Vintagejazz Fri 01-Aug-14 15:25:14

Dido grin

QuintessentiallyQS Fri 01-Aug-14 15:27:18

I bet the inlaws are staying, and are scared b/g will pawn them off on other family... grin

MrsMikeDelfino Fri 01-Aug-14 15:27:34

Bloody cheek. If they're expecting everyone to fly all the way out there for their wedding, then as soon as it's over to bog off out of the way I'd be wanting to tell them to go do one! (Assuming it is them who've requested it and it's not just mother of the bride sticking her oar in.)
So they're important enough to come to the wedding but not to stay around any longer than necessary?!
Surely they can see that they're not going to just go straight back home again after the wedding when they've travelled all that way. They're going to want to have a holiday too.
If the bride and groom want privacy, THEY'RE the ones that should go elsewhere to honeymoon - after all they're the ones who invited the guests over in the first place!

QuintessentiallyQS Fri 01-Aug-14 15:28:01

SOrry that was not clear, I meant the brides mum is staying.

MiL is being rude, is she going to the expense of finding another hotel herself?

If so , good for her but why should anyone else?

Fiji, a dream destination but bloody expensive for the guests, wow!

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