would you bu if you made a 12 year old clean up their own vomit?

(166 Posts)
captainproton Thu 31-Jul-14 13:42:42

Child wakes up and vomits on his own bed and carpet in the middle of the night. Would you make them clean it up with no assistance from a parent, when said child is being repeatedly sick? The bouts of sickness have been ongoing for a couple of weeks now and seem to come on with no warning. Child is going to the doctor about it but mum has had enough of cleaning up sick, can't say I'd be too thrilled about it either.

I don't think it's unreasonable to get them to help out once they are better but if they are not well would you make them do it?

By the way I am not the child's parent. This happened to a colleague's son and she made them clean it up. There have been some jovial discussions here about whether or not she is a strict mum. I fall into the, 'would clean it up for them category'. I had an abusive mother and a weird upbringing, I would have been made to clear up my own sick after receiving a load of abuse. I don't know what is the normal thing to do. I assume there is an age when they have to do it for themselves, but is 12 too young?

I'm asking because I think I am in danger of babying my children when they are older owing to a rubbish childhood and I don't want to smother them. So when I hear of situations like this I am trying to work out what is the right thing to do.

Itsjustmeagain Thu 31-Jul-14 13:44:50

I wouldnt, but if an adult like my dh was ill enough that they were being repeatedly sick like that I would tuck them up in bed and clean up - I think its just something you do for people you love.

allmycats Thu 31-Jul-14 13:46:39

Seems very harsh to me - it's what Mums do when their kids are ill.

Pennies Thu 31-Jul-14 13:46:43

You would be very unreasonable to make a 12yr old clear up their own sick. The only time I wouldn't help anyone of any age is if they were drunk. This child is ill. She's a lazy, uncaring arse of a mother.

basgetti Thu 31-Jul-14 13:46:56

No I wouldn't make them, I think it's a horrible thing to do to your poorly child. I'm an adult and my DP has cleaned up after me a couple of times recently (hyperemesis) and I'd do the same for him.

HowYaLikeThemApples Thu 31-Jul-14 13:47:15

If a child is unwell I wouldn't dream of making them clear up vomit. Ever.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 31-Jul-14 13:47:23

I wouldn't think of asking someone sick to clean up after themselves that's just horrible. Poor child cant help being sick.

MorphineDreams Thu 31-Jul-14 13:47:26

No that's disgusting.

Thenapoleonofcrime Thu 31-Jul-14 13:48:44

I would certainly try to prepare their room if I thought they were likely to be sick- so two bowls, one on either side, towel down and really drum into their head if they wake up feeling very sick, to be sick in the bowls and not run for the loo. If I felt they had done everything they could, I would of course then help them clear up. I would do that for anyone staying in my house, being sick makes you feel ill and weak and requiring someone to clear up their own sick is horrible and lacking in empathy. They could help out though- by having a shower, getting cleaning supplies and so on.

Does she think it is deliberate or attention-seeking, is that why she's more reluctant to do it?

Picturesinthefirelight Thu 31-Jul-14 13:49:01

I'm an emetophobe & even I wouldn't do that to my 12 year old.

Vitalstatistix Thu 31-Jul-14 13:49:05

No way would i. That is utterly heartless. This is a child and an ill one at that. The least a child should be able to expect from a parent is they take care of them when theyre ill! Its not the best bit about being a parent thats for sure! But ffs you dont do that to your kid.

AllThatGlistens Thu 31-Jul-14 13:49:44

Seriously? No I wouldn't make a sick child clean up after themselves sad

A drunk 18 yr old would be a different story, but never a child.

HowYaLikeThemApples Thu 31-Jul-14 13:50:38

If it's happening on a regular basis the PARENTS should be taking steps to prevent as much mess as possible: old towel on the floor at night time to protect the carpet, sick bowl by the bed. That's what I always do if any of my lot say they feel sick at bed time. They may make it to the toilet in time but if not at least there has been a bit of damage limitation for how far the vomit can spread.

Her poor bloody kids.

Anotheronesoon Thu 31-Jul-14 13:50:59

No I wouldnt- I would clean up for my kids and what's more I know if I was sick at my parents house, my lovely mum would clean up after me at the grand old age of 35. It's what you do for a loved ones (unless they are repeatedly doing it due to drunkeness I which case I may rethink the matter!)

I would only make someone clean up their own sick if they had been drunk at the time - ie it was totally and completely their own stupid fault.

For anything else, I would clean up, even for an unrelated adult who happened to be in my house at the time, never mind my 12yo child.

Purpleflamingos Thu 31-Jul-14 13:51:18

No. Vomit is bad enough after your own child has done it but you still clean it up. After you've vomited yourself you're so shaky and wiped out its unfair.

CalamityKate1 Thu 31-Jul-14 13:51:27

No. That's awful. She's horrible and I'd quite happily tell her so.

Crinkle77 Thu 31-Jul-14 13:51:28

My god if my child was ill I would clean it up

lljkk Thu 31-Jul-14 13:51:30

If they aren't actually feeling dreadful, I think I would ask them to help a bit, get the clean sheets, carry yucky ones to shower or washing machine, etc.

If they feel like death warmed over I'd do it all myself. That's what families are for, no?

Bloody hell. I wouldn't expect a child of 12 to clean up their own vomit. Poor bairn. The mother may be tired of cleaning up the vomit, but probably not as tired as the child is from puking up!!!

In the same breath, if DH was being sick repeatedly I would probably clean up his too (if he hadn't made it to the bathroom)

DS is 10, I still look after him when he is poorly which is essientally what we are talking about.

kimswan1985 Thu 31-Jul-14 13:51:57

I'm 30 and if I'm ill (and it's not self inflicted) id still expect looked after lol x

ThatBloodyWoman Thu 31-Jul-14 13:52:35

They get a sick bowl, and one well person (me) gets to clear it up, to minimise the chance of everyone getting sick if its contagious.

I find it quite outrageous to think that I, as an able bodied parent, would not clear up after my sick child.

Its in the job description as 'parent' (check the small print).

Timeforabiscuit Thu 31-Jul-14 13:52:48

I would have been expected to growing up, but now I would clear up no question - they're ill!

But I don't have a strop o matic twelve year old with a long term ongoing issue - if tempers are short because of lack of sleep and the kid is OK sorting themselves out then that's a different kettle of fish.

firesidechat Thu 31-Jul-14 13:53:23

Yes I would definitely clear up for them. The poor thing is ill, not drunk and a bit of compassion wouldn't go amiss. I also wouldn't expect a 12 year old to do a very good job of it and the mum may well have to redo it anyway.

Clearing up vomit is just one of the many horrible jobs that you sign up to as a parent. She sounds very unreasonable and not very nice with it.

BornOfFrustration Thu 31-Jul-14 13:53:29

No, I'd clean it up or get DH to do it

Reminds me of a conversation with a childminder I knew who said I should leave DD to cry in her cot to get her to sleep, and if she was sick to make her help clean it up. DD was 1 at the time, my face was like this shock

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