Toxic sister-in-law

(47 Posts)
Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 20:38:19

Has been bitching about me, DH and my DS3 I'm front of my older DCs.
Apparently my DH is yuk for eating chips with mayonnaise and we've been very inconsiderate parents to our DS3 for choosing a name that doesn't go well with his surname.
She's overseas with my DM and my older children.
Please stop me from going on Facebook and telling her to shut the fuck up 😡

pictish Wed 30-Jul-14 20:40:03

Why bother?
Loads of people think chips with mayo is ming - although I personally love it.
As for the other stuff - who gives a toot what she thinks or has to say?
Tell your dc that she's silly and to pay no heed - cos you don't...do you?

ChanelNumber19 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:43:13

I love chips and mayo!

I wouldn't bother challenging her. People will just think 'god she's got a bit of a bee in her bonnet hasn't she'. But if you challenge her they'll change that view to "six of one and half a dozen of the other". I have learnt this the hard way

pictish Wed 30-Jul-14 20:44:50

Too true Chanel - if you retaliate other people will see it as joining in. Unfair...but true.

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 20:44:55

Well she's been saying this in one form of another since DS3 was born. She used to say how his middle name didn't sound right with his first name and then called him with both names just to prove her point and to piss me off. No one else calls him with both names.

pictish Wed 30-Jul-14 20:48:11

Ignore her. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you rankled over her bitchiness.
Be the bigger, better, more mature and reasonable person.
Always.

"Never argue with a fool...they'll only take you down to their level then beat you with experience."

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 20:50:08

Well somehow it really upsets me to be told that my DS' name sounds ridiculous even by a bitch like her.
By the way my DS3 is called Matthew so hardly a weird name

pictish Wed 30-Jul-14 20:51:25

She's an arse - don't let her get to you.

Chanelnumero19 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:54:18

AS Oscar Wilde would say "forgive her, nothing will annoy her more", paraphrasing there because she's not your enemy!

MaryWestmacott Wed 30-Jul-14 20:54:42

oh I remember your other threads about her saying his full name in an attempt to piss you off, I seem to remember you were advised to act like she was doing it to be nice and piss her off - noone likes other people not realising they are being nasty to them!

Anyway, don't put her in a position where she will be with your older DCs without you again, because she will slag you off. If that means your mum can't have your DCs without you there, then so be it. Much better they miss out on a few treats than hear their parents insulted without you there to defend yourselves, and your DCs wonder if they are supposed to defend you, or if Aunty XXXX is right.

EverythingCounts Wed 30-Jul-14 20:55:03

Totally ignore the chips and mayo thing. Next time she mentions the name thing, say 'You've said this loads of times now, you really seem to have a thing about it. I never think about it myself, how strange!' Make it her issue that she keeps commenting on it - which it is.

Chanelnumero19 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:55:41

Ah, Loletta, my son's name sounds like somebody choking on a fish bone apparently. My mum told me that at a family gathering. She was a bit merry. so was I Luckily I'm a happy uncomplicated drunk. I laughed.

hamptoncourt Wed 30-Jul-14 20:58:00

Loletta is your surname Matthews? grin

She is obviously a nasty spiteful cow but don't get sucked in.

Chips and mayo have seen me through many a dark hour.

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 21:00:07

Yes that would have been 2 years ago when I started a thread because she would call him with his first name and middle names after having commented how bad they sound together!
So two years on, she's now saying name + Surname are bad together.
Do you guys think I'm odd for caring so much or is normal that I should be pissed off?

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 21:03:06

The worst thing in all this is my DM who pays lip service to every fucking stupid thing she says and sticks up for her if I dare say something!

FrankSaysNo Wed 30-Jul-14 21:03:25

You SIL and DH are brother and sister? TBH she is well within her rights to claim sibling one one-upmanship - he is a minger for chips and mayo - it has to be Heinz salad cream. This is not your problem.

Matthew McMatthews? Not good.

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 21:06:24

No SIL is married to my brother.
I promise my surname is not Matthews!

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 30-Jul-14 21:10:39

Chips and mayo?
YAbu
Chips should be eaten swimming in malt vinegar and with Maldon sea salt (or regualr salt lt if that's all you have)

But my dh thinks YANBU. grin

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 30-Jul-14 21:12:19

Matthew mayonnaise?

Why is she like this?

FrankSaysNo Wed 30-Jul-14 21:13:51

Have you tried - this is revolutionary - forget the whole "Did you mean to be so rude" stuff ...... ""Sil, why are you such a rude cunt?" and I'd follow that up with "Bro, baaaaad choice hun, better luck next time"

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 21:15:06

She also says, completely unprovoked, that all her friends are Oxbridge educated, like her (and unlike me)

FrankSaysNo Wed 30-Jul-14 21:19:11

No one is ""Oxbridge educated"" - this an MN phenomenon phrase .... You may be Balliol or Magdalene ... but no one is ""Oxbridge"

Loletta Wed 30-Jul-14 21:23:16

Well that's what she says whenever she has the tiniest opportunity sad

MaryWestmacott Wed 30-Jul-14 21:24:55

Thing is, she probably doesn't give a shit either way about the name, but realised it upsets you and is using it as a way to wind you up, and look, it works!

And she's got this little 'gang against Loletta' thing going with your mum.

keep her away from your DCs without you there, and pretend you think she's being nice, everytime she's doing the sly digs thing. She is trying to get a reaction out of you, and then she gets to look all innocent and you look like the unhinged one.

(oh and if you wantd to make a comment back about the Oxbridge thing, I'd be tempted to say "yes, I had noticed you don't seem to have any friends with different backgrounds than your own, is it a delibrate thing or are just not good at making friends with a wide range of people?")

hamptoncourt Wed 30-Jul-14 21:27:20

She is jealous of you.

Obvious.

Are you much slimmer/prettier/richer/funnier/more popular than SIL? Despite your appalling lack of top notch education and DH chavvy food choices

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