To feel a bit lost and weird?

(7 Posts)
cheekymonk Wed 30-Jul-14 20:24:42

Hi all
Me my dh and 9 year old ds and 3 year old dd have just moved house 140miles away from old home. our old house was cramped and I love the space in our new one. BUT the kids have really played up, obviously unsettled bless them but they are doing well ie nursery school and holiday clubs but at home the frustration is well and truly vented. Dh likes new job but seems miserable alot (kids) plus I've fallen out with my mum hmm we partly moved to be closer as now family are 60 miles away instead of double that but there's been no enthusiasm from mum at allhmm friends have been brilliant but am gutted at my mums emotional distance. I love it here in many ways but just feel a bit lost and weird really and guilty for taking the kids away from what they know. We were unhappy in previous place but I don't know it all feels a bit confused Aibu?

Thenapoleonofcrime Wed 30-Jul-14 20:39:13

How long have you been there? It takes at leas six months to a year I reckon before you feel settled and sorted in a place. Also, some children don't move that easily, as you have found out. My seven year old was terrible when we moved a while back. It does pass though and everything settles again.

I don't have any good advice about your mum though, is this a usual pattern of falling out or is it bigger/more significant this time? I guess you can't really change that.

cheekymonk Wed 30-Jul-14 20:47:24

Have been here 3 weeks so very early days! Yes mum and I have big fall ours every so often but this one feels very damaging. We're meeting on sat to talk about it. Thanks for your reply napolean smile

cheekymonk Wed 30-Jul-14 22:34:01

Anyone?

BookABooSue Wed 30-Jul-14 22:46:51

YANBU to feel lost. As napoleon said it takes a while to settle somewhere. Also, I think after a move, there can be a sense of anti-climax because you have hopes and dreams tied up in your new life, and it can take a while for them to materialise.

I'd try to focus on the positives like spending more time with your friends and introducing your dc's to new museums, parks, etc.

Your dm may just be unsure of her new role in your life now that you are closer. Perhaps she is panicking a bit that you'll have more expectations of her, and she may not want to be more involved in your life. The chat on Sat might help to clear the air, to establish what you both want your relationship to look like now. Try to remember what your dm is like. Sometimes, we can imagine our parents into a Walton's family role and that's rarely the reality. That's not to say that your relationship with your dm won't improve by being nearby but try not to be offended if she says she doesn't actually want to make changes to her life and schedule to accommodate your new proximity.

Moving is very stressful. Try to give yourself time to adjust thanks

burgatroyd Wed 30-Jul-14 22:49:41

It took me a year to not feel odd. Now I don't miss my old home at all. Only sometimes...
Oh, what is it with mums, eh?! hmm

cheekymonk Thu 31-Jul-14 12:35:00

Thanks all... Some good advice x

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