Disciplining someone else's child..

[nastybiker]

For an offensive remark?

[steff13]

Was the other person there? What was the remark?

[SuperLoveFuzz]

More info needed

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

If you're "loco parentis" then yes, you discipline. If the child's parent is there, butt out.

[KissMyFatArse]

I'd prob say something if the remark was directed to my child even if the parents were there.

[Nomama]

'Mind your manners/mouth young wo/man' has been known to pass my lips on occasion.

I hate it when kids do this and no-one says anything.

[nastybiker]

Apologies. I hit post before I'd finished.

Boy about 12 with his mother in a supermarket, made a highly offensive remark about my appearance. Mother completely ignored it, and he laughed it off until I spoke to him. Mother then made several slurs about me and they boh left.

I felt indinated and victimised, spoke to the store manager and although the incident was captured on cctv there is no sound recording.

I would absolutely die if my DS were to say half of what this little turd did.

[Floop]

In this case, I wouldn't discipline. You can't discipline a stranger. But you can react as you would react if it were an adult.

[RiverTam]

YANBU but if his mother is like that there's not much hope for him.

[Mrsjayy]

Yanbu that sounds awful cheeky bugger and the mother sounds no better he was outright cheeky and rude to you I would have told him off too

[Nomama]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

You can only walk away at that point. Or you risk getting caught up in something unpleasant. But NU at all!

[nastybiker]

So he actually called me a fat dyke p@k!..
I felt that he was old enough to understand the consequences, certainly didn't hold back.

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

Maybe "discipline" isn't quite the word in this case. You'd have been within your rights to make a comment to the mother, but it seemingly would've made no difference to the situation.

[Mrsjayy]

Fgs horrible child and the mother should have stepped in,

[skrumle]

in my opinion that's not an offensive remark, it's a racially motivated breach of the peace...

i don't think you can "discipline" in those circumstances but i probably would respond/do something.

[nastybiker]

He was a horrible little child absolutely, I told him as much and more. Mother threatened to press charges, hence posting here to see if i overstepped the mark

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

Horrible child! But agree its hard to see how you could discipline somenody in that context - absolutely within your rights to respond verbally as you would to an adult, but not sure what else you could do as his mother sounds just like him...

[whatsthatcomingoverthehill]

Press charges? Haha.

I feel sorry for the kid who has obviously grown up thinking this is a reasonable thing to think, let alone say, to a complete stranger.

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

As long as you didn't touch him nor swear back at him his mother was talking nonsense - what charges did she think she could press?

[RiverTam]

well, I'd love to know what charges she thought she could press, given that her son had been homophobic and racist to you. Some people really are beyond stupid and they'll never change or learn.

[micah]

I'd have asked her to please do press charges. Hopefully getting police involved would lead to it being pointed out they were in the wrong..

[ArcheryAnnie]

YANBU. A kid of that age is old enough to know what they are saying, and it's clear from the parent's response that they get this at home.

I'm sorry this happened to you, OP, and you were absolutely within your rights to tell this kid off, and to report it to the store.

It might even be worth reporting it (on the non-emergency line) to the police, as it was both racist and homophobic, and backed up by an adult even if committed by a kid. Even though they won't be able to do anything about this one particular incident, they should be compiling reports of how often this sort of thing happens in their patch.

[nastybiker]

I didn't touch him although he did fall over trying to run away. The fact that I'm not even from Pakistan clearly eluded him, my own son was out with my partner so fortunately he didnt have to endure this abuse.
She accused me of hitting him, a complete fabrication as well as verbally 'tormenting' him.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Agree that this is not about discipline. It's about natural consequences. This is currently a child but carry on like this and the Police eventually WILL be involved. The child needs to learn that, the mother too.

Sorry about what happened

[ArcheryAnnie]

She's an idiot as well as a bigot if she thinks supermarkets don't have cctv, and will clearly show you not hitting her kid!

[Nomama]

Well, that explains why you spoke to the manager - I originally thought that was a bit OTT. But no, not in the slightest.

Her son, if over 10, committed an actionable offence. The CCTV will back you up. So do, please, spend a pleasant hour imagining what could happen if she was stupid enough to try to press charges.

Poor kid hasn't much of a chance though.