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AIBU?

to be shocked by primary school aged childrens´ facebook pages?

51 replies

BocaDeTrucha · 23/07/2014 21:30

Something at work the other day prompted me to look up a pupil from an old class of mine (I´m a teacher) on Facebook and this led me onto profiles for almost every child in the class. We are talking here about children in Year 5 at primary school, so 9-10 year olds. Firstly, I was amazed that all their pages were open to the public so I could see all their posts and secondly, the content and photos really bothered me. Yes, I know it´s none of my business, but, the bottom line is just how much I realised children aren´t children any more.

Several of the boys had the typical selfie shot taken in the bathroom mirror, no shirt on, and flexing their (non-existant) muscles. 9-year old boys!!!!! If it wasn´t so sad, it would be almost funny. Then there were photos of the boys in the pub, arms round each other, standing infront of the bar as though they were 18 years old down the pub on a Friday night. They are just kids, but living their lives like they are adults. What worries me more than anything is how their parents haven´t intervened to, at the very least, make their profiles private. It just seems such an easy way of making them so vulnerable. AIBU and is this just something that we need to accept amongst young children these days?

OP posts:
shitatusernames · 23/07/2014 21:47

I know of someone's daughter who will be year 3 when they go back who has one, no way on this earth will mine be getting one any time soon!!

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 21:58

YANBU Sad it's appalling !

I was similarly shocked when I noticed a friends DS (then y5) was listed in her friends list, and his page led me to see that about 70% of the class were on there too (DDs year, she's still not on FB at 14 LOL)

Many of them with totally public profiles, some of them whose parents were either not even on FB or were not FB friends with their kids (to monitor things - so maybe for some the parents did not even KNOW??)

All the posing and tarty pouts from little girls was and is hideous. And its not like the school is not very pro e-safety, they run regular workshops for parents on safety/grooming/use of social media etc.

IneedAwittierNickname · 23/07/2014 21:59

My friends 10 year old (just finishing year 5) do has a Facebook page. Her profile is completely open, and her profile picture is her and another friends teenager pouting at the camera with the caption 'sect gurls'.
My friend can't seem to see the problem!

Wonc · 23/07/2014 22:01

Yanbu Sad. I do jot understand parents who allow this.

Wonc · 23/07/2014 22:01

not

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 23/07/2014 22:03

I'm more concerned why you were trying to spy on one of your pupils tbh

ravenAK · 23/07/2014 22:03

Parents quite possibly don't know about it!

It takes about 5 minutes for any moderately IT-savvy 8yo to set up a FB account.

2kidsintow · 23/07/2014 22:04

If it concerns you, you can report their pages directly to fp who will suspend their pages (eventually) based on the fact that they are under 13 years old.

ApplebyMennym · 23/07/2014 22:35

My nearly ten year old doesn't have an fb account, we monitor his internet access and he will not have one until he is at least 13.

I was in the playground earlier at pick up time and all the year sixes on their last day were taking selfies, pouting and posing! Total contrast to my last day (which wasn't THAT long ago) I believe we were allowed to take in toys and I took some dolls in...

BocaDeTrucha · 23/07/2014 22:52

Sharon, I'm not sure why you should be concerned, and since when has looking for someone on FB been 'spying'? It was genuine concern for a former pupil who left in odd circumstances which made me look for him on FB. No contact was made. Not sure why you're trying to make it sound something sinister.

OP posts:
Wonc · 23/07/2014 23:28

It's not spying OP. Ignore that bizarre comment.
I'm glad you care about your students.

Freckletoes · 24/07/2014 00:41

My DS set up a secret FB account without us knowing when he was 11. Then he sent me a friend request! Grin That's how mature he was.... Hmm

TheHamsterDidIt · 24/07/2014 04:40

Um, I might be wrong about this, but I think that sometimes if you search for someone on FB but don't actually send them a friend request, you might appear in their 'people you may know' lists. Be careful, as people might guess you've been looking.

browneyedgirl86 · 24/07/2014 05:59

YANBU. I know a little boy who has had his own Facebook since he was 5. As he's not even 10 yet I just don't understand the need. Particularly when it seems to cause trouble a lot as he posts things on it he shouldn't!

numptieseverywhere · 24/07/2014 06:59

my 11 year old has Facebook.
From my experience with my older teen, its those who go on to Facebook later, (with the slightly neurotic parents) who go mad and misuse it!!

lemonwelly · 24/07/2014 07:02

A person at works baby has its own Facebook page. Some people are mad!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/07/2014 07:14

It's not sinister but it's overstepping boundaries. If that child's parents found out you were looking for them on Facebook or even your HT I don't think they'd think it was just one of those things

Panzee · 24/07/2014 07:18

We have weekly e safety lessons to try and hammer home the importance of security settings, personal info remaining personal, etc. they won't listen I'm sure. :o but hopefully it will sink in at some point!

cricketballs · 24/07/2014 07:35

Sharon; I once actively searched for my year group (HoY) and in my assembly I spoke about how glad I was that Y and Z were meeting up later for a game of snooker, how it seemed like a good party that most of them went to last weekend, but the snogging photos put me off my lunch, Z's choice of lipstick colour in her selfie was a lovely colour....

Apparently it was all they spoke about that day; their profiles were locked down that night for some reason Grin

BocaDeTrucha · 24/07/2014 07:37

Sadly Sharon'the child's mum wouldn't have given a flying f**k about anything to do with her child, which is one of the reasons I wanted to see if everything was alright. Not overstepping any line if you ask me. As I said, we're not friends on fb, I made no contact with him, it was out of pure concern so I still don't understand your problem.

OP posts:
HibiscusIsland · 24/07/2014 07:38

Year 5 is too young to have a Fb account, but I don't see why selfies of them flexing muscles or standing in front of a bar suggests they are "living their lives as if they are adults" They might spend most of their time doing kid things but just not put photos of it on Fb

FlossyMoo · 24/07/2014 07:46

I have just allowed my nearly 12 yo DS FB. I have his password and monitor it daily. This was the condition of allowing him to have it.

I am also shocked at what some of his friends put on there and the language they use. I was shocked that it is the girls who are the worst especially for the bitching and constant falling out that goes on via group messages.
He has had it a week and so far appears to have got bored with it already which is not a bad thing.

YANBU

KoalaDownUnder · 24/07/2014 07:51

I'm more surprised they've bothered setting up a FB account - I thought the yoof were all into Instagram and kik these days.

DogCalledRudis · 24/07/2014 07:57

A lot of online games do require you have a facebook account. If a child has an ipad, most likely they would want to play these games.
As for selfies, children always copy their elders. Does not mean that they've stopped being children.

purpleroses · 24/07/2014 08:06

My DS's Y6 teacher not only looked at all his classes FB pages but printed off exerts from them to read out in class. It was a excellent lesson in internet safety - of he could read all that stuff then so could anyone else. Of course it's not spying to read what they've publicly broadcast. I think he showed them how to alter the privacy settings.

Personally I think they is something to be said for allowing your DC to have FB or similar at an age when they're still young enough to allow you to share their log in, be their friend, and keep a close eye what they're up to. But clearly your Y5s aren't.

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