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AIBU?

have I been unknowingly behaving rudely for ages?

18 replies

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 23/07/2014 15:44

DS1 went to a birthday party last weekend (Saturday). The party was for one of his friends from school. We took a gift and a card, and the party was great. All parents stayed, as is customary at the moment. We both really enjoyed it. After the party, we both thanked his mum profusely for such a lovely time. DS1 gave her a cuddle.

I picked DS1 up from school this afternoon. It is the first time I have done the school pick up/drop off this week due to work. As soon as she saw me, the mum took me to one side and asked if DS had enjoyed the party. I said that of course, it was a lovely party, and he'd had a fabulous time. She replied that she was glad, but she had wondered, as she hadn't heard from me.

Cue me blushing and saying sorry, yes, the party was wonderful, fabulous etc .

Have I breached etiquette here by not texting or writing a thank you card after the party? I am mortified.

OP posts:

Report

juneybean · 23/07/2014 15:45

Christ what does she want? Blood?

gamerchick · 23/07/2014 15:46

No sounds right to me.

Unless she's one of those tiresum people who expect handmade thank you cards and email and text along with a Facebook status on how utterly awesome her parties are.

usualsuspectt · 23/07/2014 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jammygem · 23/07/2014 15:46

Erm, isn't it polite for the birthday child to write thank you notes for any presents received, rather than for guests to write one for being invited to the party?

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 15:47

It's her not you. You say thank you when you leave/pick the child up, no need for anything further.

Perhaps if you and she are in regular contact and have not been this week, she is linking that to the party.

ApocalypseNowt · 23/07/2014 15:48

I must be ever so rude too. Wouldn't occur to me to get in touch in any way. I will in future though....next time i attend the party I will video myself showing my appreciation of said party through the medium of expressive dance. That should do it.

gamerchick · 23/07/2014 15:48

Actually you can pull her to one side and ask that ^^ whether her sprog liked the pressie as you haven't heard anything.

Assuming you haven't.

shoofly · 23/07/2014 15:49

She's a loon - you said thankyou at the end of the party. I often send a thankyou text to say that Ds1 had a lovely time - but he's 8 - so I won't have stayed for the party and it's to reiterate that he's enjoyed himself.

Anyway if she's getting arsey about the lack of a further thankyou- Did she text you to say thanks for coming and thanks for the gift(which I would do)

Jan616 · 23/07/2014 15:50

How bizarre! She sounds like she needs constant validation. I definitely don't think you were rude at all!

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 23/07/2014 15:51

phantom we are in touch occasionally, yes. Only ever to do with the DC and what they are doing at school though. They are quite young, and don't always remember instructions properly eg " Please bring your own choice of book in to school tomorrow" or "you can wear your own clothes on Friday if you bring 1 in for Children In Need" etc and so we will verify things like this with each other. Sometimes we are not in touch for weeks and weeks. Sometimes a few times a week. There wasn't anything that we needed to be in touch about this week, so far.

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Thumbwitch · 23/07/2014 15:51

God, you said thank you for the party when you left, what more did she want?

I think people who expect cards to say thank you for hosting a party are over-egging it, tbh, and being somewhat odd.

I received one once, from a friend who had stayed for the weekend - I couldn't really understand why! I was in a group and we often stayed at each other's houses at the weekends, but this was the first time she'd been to mine by herself - it was just very odd, and I then wondered if she'd been expecting a card in return from me! She never got one, I'm crap with posting cards, even for birthdays.

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 23/07/2014 15:52

We've already received a thank you note for the gift . No texts though.

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kahori · 23/07/2014 15:56

Thanks at the end of the party is fine by me. I've found it annoying when someone texts to say thanks for the party and I reply and say 'you're welcome, thanks for coming' etc.. then they reply with a 'not at all we were delighted to come' style text - it can go on and on.

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 23/07/2014 15:58

I can't get over the embarrassment of the conversation! Proper cringing.

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NynaevesSister · 23/07/2014 15:58

When son has a birthday party I text or email all the parents after to thank them for coming. Personally I would find it weird to so it the other way around.

Nancy66 · 23/07/2014 16:07

She's probably been on MN. It's only here that people are obsessed with thank you notes.

In the real world saying thank you at the time is perfectly adequate

EmmalinaC · 23/07/2014 16:15

If she hadn't heard from you at all since the party (not even to say 'don't forget mufti day' or whatever), parhaps she thought you'd gone quiet because of something that happened at the party that she wasn't aware of?

Butkin · 23/07/2014 16:26

Guests thanks the host on leaving. Birthday child (or parent if too young) write a thank you note for their present. Job done..

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