to think £25 is enough?

(304 Posts)
macdoodle Tue 22-Jul-14 21:37:12

DD1 is almost 13, it appears that I am not going to see much of her these holidays. She doesnt want to spend much time with me and DD2 (6), and is happy spending the day out with her friends. And there are days I am in work and she doesnt want to go to the CM with DD2.
She gets £10 a week pocket money usually (for extras/going out, I pay for essentials and her phone). I have agreed to give her an extra £25/week in the holidays (so £35/week for entertainment). I would probably spend that if she was out with us. She goes skating once a week.
She doesnt think its enough but she is staying out all day, so buying lunch and chips or something before she comes home in the evening.
I have told her I am not prepared to pay for her to eat 2 meals out a day and she either has to come home to eat or take something with her, or budget her spending money.
I think I am being reasonable and generous? Am I? AIBU? She certainly thinks so!

TwinkleDust Tue 22-Jul-14 21:38:50

Erm. Do you know what she is up to?

Fairylea Tue 22-Jul-14 21:39:39

I think you are being more than reasonable. £35 a week (the original tenner and the extra 25) is more than enough spending money for a 13 year old! That's less than we have a week for a family of 4!

Having said that I guess it depends on your income etc - how long is a piece of string type syndrome. But for us, that would be a lot of money to give.

CoffeeTea103 Tue 22-Jul-14 21:40:49

At 13 she's out every day with friends and you're ok with this? And you think 35 per week is nota ridiculous amount to give her ?

Fairylea Tue 22-Jul-14 21:41:20

I also agree with the others that nearly 13 is too young to be out all day everyday doing her own thing.

TheWorldAccordingToJC Tue 22-Jul-14 21:41:36

May be missing the point, but I wouldn't allow a 12 year old out all day long every day ... And 35 quid is loads

WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jul-14 21:41:52

Jesus Christ she's 12!

I'm feeling incredibly tight now that my 15yr old DS gets £8 per week pocket money.

If he didn't want to come on a family day out, that's fine but I wouldn't be chucking cash at him on top of £25 per week.

greenfolder Tue 22-Jul-14 21:42:03

that is what i give my uni student 19 year old to live on for a week, and she lives in London!

its plenty. make it v clear that that is it- there will be no top ups or discussions!

greenfolder Tue 22-Jul-14 21:43:25

i do think its fine for her to be out all day with her friends though! i was at work all day and mine were free range from 12.

DuckandCat Tue 22-Jul-14 21:44:03

I think it's far too much confused

What's she going to be doing all day?

MyFairyKing Tue 22-Jul-14 21:44:05

Woah, that's a lot but if you can afford it, your choice.

Preciousbane Tue 22-Jul-14 21:45:12

DS is 13, he will go out and about with his friends a bit over the holidays. When he does if he needs lunch out he gets a fiver or a quid for a drink. He will only get money for lunch a couple of times a week though and it is nothing to do with if I can afford it or not. There is no way I would give DS £35 per week.

You seem like a soft touch op, I hope your making her do chores for the money.

Finola1step Tue 22-Jul-14 21:45:36

Your dd is 12. Just finished year 8?

Really not unreasonable to have an idea where she is and with who. The m

maddy68 Tue 22-Jul-14 21:46:08

Way too much. If she was going skating then give her the money for that. I would want to know what she was up to!

adeucalione Tue 22-Jul-14 21:46:24

I agree that £35pw is more than enough for a 12yo. Is she doing anything to earn this at all?

And I know you're not asking about this but fwiw I think that that sounds like an awful lot of unsupervised hours for a 12yo. Will she be at home while you're at work, or elsewhere? When you go out for the day and she heads off in the opposite direction, do you know what she'll be doing and who she'll be with?

fairyfuckwings Tue 22-Jul-14 21:46:30

Well my daughter's only a year older and she's been doing her own thing so far this week. So I don't think there's anything wrong with her going out with her friends as long as you know where she is and she's contactable.

I think you're being very generous. My daughter also gets a tenner a week. Anything more has to be earned by doing jobs around the house. I feel a bit tight now though...

bellarations Tue 22-Jul-14 21:46:33

Too much too young springs to mind!

ilovesooty Tue 22-Jul-14 21:46:50

Sounds a fair amount to me. She'll have to take a packed lunch or something.

gamerchick Tue 22-Jul-14 21:47:08

35 quid a week.. christ. Don't tell my 14 yr old grin

marne2 Tue 22-Jul-14 21:47:12

I think your dd is waking all over you (sorry).

I wish I had £35 a week to spend on myself, I think it's far too much for a 13 year old, £10 a week would be plenty, if she wants more then maybe she could earn it by doing some house work whilst your at work instead of spending every day out with her friends?

Janethegirl Tue 22-Jul-14 21:47:21

I think being out all day is fine, and it will teach her basic budgeting skills. At 12 my Dcs were also pretty much free range, but it was a village location so I did get feedback if anything truly unusual/bad was going on.

I'd be worried about that amount of disposal money. My DD told me a couple of years ago that when she was 12 she used her school lunch money to buy Malibu and cigarettes. I was totally unaware that my PFB could be so reckless. Your DD could be funding the booze and cig habits of all her mates. Sorry sad.

bigTillyMint Tue 22-Jul-14 21:50:14

DS is 13 and he gets £20 a month, but I may give him an extra fiver if there is something special he is doing. I am happy for him to go out and about with his mates, but I usually tell him to eat at home first and then he can just buy a drink and crisps/whatever. They don't get up till after 11 anyway! I also need to know where he is and who he is with. He has been very good so far and always does what we ask/checks first.

mummy1973 Tue 22-Jul-14 21:50:26

OP...she is being unreasonable and the money is not the point. With that sort of attitude I would tell her she had to go to the childminders and that until she could appreciate her family she would be staying home doing jobs to earn extra on the other days!

mummy1973 Tue 22-Jul-14 21:50:56

OP...she is being unreasonable and the money is not the point. With that sort of attitude I would tell her she had to go to the childminders and that until she could appreciate her family she would be staying home doing jobs to earn extra on the other days!

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