To stay in a job I hate to keep my home

[ginorwine]

Hate my job .if I leave I will do so to get a less stressful one which will pay half what I earn. I've researched as I have a specific area of work and to change fields would me re training or transfer my degree which I can't afford .
So I do my job part time but I might as well do it 24\7 due to the stress and anxiety .
I need to either face the stress and re frame it somehow in a positive way or leave my job sell our house and live in a cheaper area.
Husband and teens def want the former as they don't want their lives to change and my ds is also due for uni etc.
I'm worried that I will feel guilt if my choice changes lifestyle ! Or regret it! My friends have said you need to put heth first whilst others say its part time find ways of managing better. I think I wd prefer the latter .i am very gentle natured and struggle not to worry a out my clients My a Ulithi to help as well as seeing difficult situations each day at work ,
Confidence v low Off work anxiety and depression. Waiting for C b t but if go back have to do so before this starts as 15 week wait list .
Anyone Any tips on coping with a difficult job whilst being a sensitive person ? Techniques etc? Thankyou!

[MrsWinnibago]

I think you should move and change jobs. Of course your teens don't want change at the moment but really...tough luck!

They won't be with you for much longer and you have your own future to consider!

If your husband is so keen to stay put can he earn more and allow you to change jobs?

Also what is the nature of your job and what are the most stressful aspects for you?

[ICanSeeTheSun]

I would wait till after the CBT and then see how you feel.

It is CBT works then obviously stay put but if it doesn't I would consider a new job even if I need to move

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

I don't know to be honest but Husband and teens ... don't want their lives to change is a bit stark.

As Ican says see how you feel after the CBT.

Ultimately you will not be able to stay in a job long term if your health is adversely affected, regardless of what you feel you should do or want to do. Your family need to be part of the solution.

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

I would look at coping strategies including CBT first. You can always make another decision later and that will be good grounding for whatever comes next.

In the meantime, can you start to adjust your lifestyle by saving more?

[ginorwine]

Thanks all for replies I really appriciate them
We are cutting back already in case.
Husband works full time .
Mortgage. Can't be paid without my wage as its the I durance s etc etc.,
I have been off sick every three years with depression linked to job. Have had c b t before and it worked v v well and I coped with the job but then life took over and I forgot todo it and off I went again.
Husband says I can do what I need to but must do it with eyes wide open as he doesn't want us to regret at later date.
I will have cbt then see.
I'm a social worker - I am struggling to deal with the difficult aspects of the job when I can't give people services and support as I used to and I work several hours a week extra 10 in own time to try to get best outcomes I can but I feel terrible guilt that I can't make things better even tho I know some situations can't be changed and it is illogical to think as I do !!! I'm fine doing end of life work but struggle when I can't give such as when services are cut , it feels that I am letting people down .

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

Ok.

You need some help with detaching via CBT. I think this will be a good skill going forwards anyway.

Good luck.

[ginorwine]

Thank you all :)

[Cheesilycheerful]

How about mindfulness? This is a fab book ( get the book not kindle as it comes with a cd) lots of good evidence for this and you can try it whilst you wait for CBT. Also good for treatment refractory depression. As someone who works at the sharp end of services too I have found mindfulness really helpful in boundary setting and coping with the shenanigans of work.

<a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406062281&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness%20a%20practical%20guide%20to%20finding%20peace%20in%20a%20frantic%20world&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406062281&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness%20a%20practical%20guide%20to%20finding%20peace%20in%20a%20frantic%20world&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21


Good luck!

[ginorwine]

Thankyou cheesilycheerful ; will look that book up . Glad to hear it helped you and to know it can help at the sharp end !

[Judgypants73]

How would you feel if your dh decided he wanted to give up his job for a lesser paying one? Would you be happy to downsize so he could do this?

[nobabynobotherbut]

I'm an assistant headteacher.

Years ago, I decided the stress was too much and I wanted a job I could leave at the end of the day and so on - I resigned and got a job I thought would be lovely (ha!) working in an old folks' home. I've never been more stressed, tired, overworked, grumpy and unhappy in all my life, honestly - and more to the point, couldn't believe how much work, really hard work, I had to do for such little money.

Think carefully is my advice, and I don't mean that patronisingly as I have 'been there' but the truth is all jobs are hard I think.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

Are you a SW to adults or children.

Either way you are providing help to those most in need of it. I suspect you are good at your job.

If you do quit and get a new job and a new home will you be far away from friends/family and all the other things you enjoy in life.