To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

(427 Posts)
Homealoneagain Mon 21-Jul-14 18:53:32

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

Iamblossom Mon 21-Jul-14 18:55:36

Very weird IMHO to not invite you as well.

Yanbu.

JennyOnTheBlocks Mon 21-Jul-14 18:55:42

Nope, never heard of that before

Iamblossom Mon 21-Jul-14 18:56:17

Are you 100% sure you haven't been invited? Have you seen the invitation?

ThatBloodyWoman Mon 21-Jul-14 18:56:48

Seems a bit unusual to me.

Purpleroxy Mon 21-Jul-14 18:56:58

Weird and rude.

Shinyshoes2 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:57:07

Their wedding their choice
You said you didn't know her well , there's your answer , I wouldn't invite someone I didn't know to my wedding
YABU
Sounds more like you resent your DH going to a wedding overseas than you being excluded from the wedding of someone you barely know
You're not joined at the hip

LittleBearPad Mon 21-Jul-14 18:57:31

If I were having my Wedding overseas I probably wouldn't invite colleagues. If they were such good friends I wanted to invite them then I'd invite their partners/wives Etc.

Very odd

Lottiedoubtie Mon 21-Jul-14 18:57:34

Depends, has he been invited as part of a group eg, 'everyone on the team' 'everyone who works on X Shift' or 'everyone who works regularly on Y floor'. In which case pretty normal and they'll go as a group and treat it as an expensive works 'do'. Or is no one else from work invited, but he is particularly close to the couple? In which case, bit weird to not extend the invite to you.

HecatePropylaea Mon 21-Jul-14 18:58:01

That's a bit odd.

Why not suggest that he combines the wedding with a holiday for the two of you?

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 21-Jul-14 18:59:05

I've not invited one personal friends partner, but there's a backstory there, she isn't welcome.

Everbody else, their partners are invited. That is the done thing isn't it.

LewisNaiceHamilton Mon 21-Jul-14 19:01:13

I've been invited alone to colleagues' weddings. It's fairly commonplace.

However given this is abroad, I'm guessing that the bride isn't actually expecting your husband to accept.

Silverdaisy Mon 21-Jul-14 19:08:06

Reading this I was thinking not so unusual for a group of colleagues to be invited to the evening part - without partners.

But when I read it's abroad, then I changed my mind.

Do they have a particularly good relationship at work?

I'm surprised you haven't been invited, I'd be miffed.

Do you know the bride?

SirChenjin Mon 21-Jul-14 19:10:30

I thought you meant an evening invitation - in which case I was going to say YWBU, but a weekend away abroad?? No way!! V weird.

WorraLiberty Mon 21-Jul-14 19:12:37

That is very strange indeed

Preciousbane Mon 21-Jul-14 19:14:19

I have been invited to a couple of weddings without DH, tbh it didn't bother me at all.

They were colleagues weddings but abroad? I wouldn't fork out the cash for any wedding abroad unless I was really close to the bride or groom.

merlehaggard Mon 21-Jul-14 19:15:35

I think it's very strange. It is v normal to invite plus one even if you don't know if there is a partner, yet alone if you know someone's married and particularly if some distance away.

hamptoncourt Mon 21-Jul-14 19:17:28

Have you actually seen the invitation? Sounds very odd to me.

I agree with PP that you should go along and make it into a family holiday, or you agree he goes alone, but you will be going on a girls weekend to New York/Sicily/wherever that same weekend grin

fledermaus Mon 21-Jul-14 19:17:28

Seems odd to me to invite someone to a wedding abroad when you're not even so close to them that you know their wife.

JenniferJo Mon 21-Jul-14 19:18:08

It seems to be getting more and more the norm. Money is tight so if the B or G don't know a guest's partner they don't invite them.

Happened to me last year.

tryingtocatchthewind Mon 21-Jul-14 19:20:31

I didn't invite colleagues' plus ones but there was 30 of them and it was only the evening do and local.

Bit odd to invite colleagues to a wedding abroad and yes I would expect to invite partners.

rpitchfo Mon 21-Jul-14 19:22:35

I think things are slowly changing in this regard. Weddings are expensive, why would you want someone there who you didn't know?

Joysmum Mon 21-Jul-14 19:22:41

Seems odd to me to invite someone to a wedding abroad when you're not even so close to them that you know their wife

My DH doesn't know any of the friends I've made since I had my daughter. They are close to me, don't know him. Of course I'd be invited out with them despite FH not knowing them.

In fact 15 years ago we went to Vegas as a work colleague was getting married there. I was matron of honour, DH had never met them and ended up doing best man duties as nobody else except her parents and his daughter and her boyfriend went.

YouGeorgeBernardMate Mon 21-Jul-14 19:23:33

"AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife "

Yes, his wife, not his appendage. You're separate individuals, not co-joined siblings!

Sure, it's unconventional. Sure, it might be considered "rude" but only because it flies in the face of cultural etiquette, not because there's necessarily a direct snub intended.

You don't really know this woman. The wedding might be costly and who knows how many guests she's inviting because she does actually know them and has some form of good relationship with them.

As long as she hasn't invited every otehr colleague's DW except you, YABU. Even then you'd be 95% unreasonable as it's her wedding and her choice.

Make the most of the time apart from DH to meet up with friends or watch the soaps and eat ice-cream all weekend. smile

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