things you can/can't do in your own garden - a list

(156 Posts)
GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:30:06

right
So according to many recent threads ( YES IT IS A THREAD ABOUT A FRICKEN THREAD)

you may

1. let your child scream

you may not
1. bbq

PLease add so i know wink

WallyBantersJunkBox Mon 21-Jul-14 09:42:18

Tasteless ornaments are a no no. Garden ornaments must be approved by an MN council.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:42:31

1. bbq
2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see
3. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
4. smoke ( unclear)
5. Perform sexual services
6. iron in your cruds
7. play music louder than a whisper
8. mow your lawn
9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all)
10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune)
11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself
12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks
13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa

Preciousbane Mon 21-Jul-14 09:43:48

No wind chimes

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:44:57

Own bastarding cunting wind chimes. Bamboo or metal.

Cunts.

TSSDNCOP Mon 21-Jul-14 09:44:57

Excellent summary in point 13 OP.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:45:05

i dont know if objects count as 'doing' something iykwim

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:45:32

* leans back*

argue the wind chimes - they just ARE surely?

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:45:53

Inflate a creepy Santa at Yuletide.

In fact, we may need a Christmas sub-list.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:46:18

oh we cant do Xmas now, we need to wait for the wanky xmas traditions thread.

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:46:58

The are....really, really, REALLY annoying at 4am. Or ever. It's just woo clanking.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:47:12

1. bbq
2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see
3. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
4. smoke ( unclear)
5. Perform sexual services
6. iron in your cruds
7. play music louder than a whisper
8. mow your lawn
9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all)
10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune)
11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself
12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks
13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa
14. have a growling dog that you allow to jump at the fence between the houses scaring my kids shitless every time

sparechange Mon 21-Jul-14 09:47:16

Wind chimes OR a water feature...

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:47:31

*they

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:47:40

i am liking the 'its just woo clanking' argument

amyhamster Mon 21-Jul-14 09:48:00

Wasn't there a thread last winter about someone complaining so kids had stolen the snowman from her front garden & op wanted to call the police

No snow stealing

TSSDNCOP Mon 21-Jul-14 09:48:40

Have a dicky security light that goes off if a cat farts but only illuminates, in the manner of prison camp, the lounge of the house opposite.

FannyFifer Mon 21-Jul-14 09:48:46

Lol at lady in leather looking like a DFS sofa.

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:49:17

Spare change has seconded the motion.

They're outta here. gavel

(Although, it's your list etc etc)

UterusUterusGhali Mon 21-Jul-14 09:49:54

Yy!

No stalag-level "security" lights.

JenniferJo Mon 21-Jul-14 09:50:34

Never have a trampoline. It just encourages children to shriek. And allows gawping brats to peer over the (very high) fence and make rude personal remarks

And I'd like to challenge the notion about noisy small children being cute. They really aren't. They are teethgrindingly awful

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:51:14

* notes subservience approvingly*

1. bbq
2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see
3. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
4. smoke ( unclear)
5. Perform sexual services
6. iron in your cruds
7. play music louder than a whisper
8. mow your lawn
9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all)
10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune)
11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself
12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks
13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa
14. have a growling dog that you allow to jump at the fence between the houses scaring my kids shitless every time
15 own pointless windchimes
16. have a security light rendering the whole area like a Supermax penitentiary, particularly if set off by a cat's fart

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:51:41

* inhales sharply at the trampoline challenge *

MardyBra Mon 21-Jul-14 09:52:07

Sneak in and use the neighbour's swimming pool. There was a fantastic thread about that once.

oldsilver Mon 21-Jul-14 09:52:31

If you are actually going to hang laundry outside shock , remember there is a strict curfew - if you leave it out later, it will bring the tone of your neighbourhood right down.

GretchenWiener Mon 21-Jul-14 09:53:10

oh well proposed old silver

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