I'm a little bit upset and want to know if i'm in the wrong or im doing an ok job.
My daughter is 4.
She is happy and just a normal little girl. She has cereal for breakfast and maybe some fruit.
Lunch a sandwitch or pasta and cucumber, she'll have her dinner which is usually meat, veg and tatties or pasta or something along those lines.
She eats ALOT of fruit. She has 'occasional' treats like chocolate dips, sweets and crisps. She would rather have water but loves Vimto!
She has never had a McDonalds because she has never wanted one but likes Subway and chips.
She likes cake and ice cream Who doesn't?!
She would live off Cucumber if i let her.
If you're still reading then Thank you :)
She is thin and tall. Just like me and her dad.
This is the problem. My nan thinks she is beig deprived of sugar and nice food which i think means junk food?
She has told me she is too thin and is worried she will have an eating disorder :(
Im abit taken aback as I think she eats fine. Does the above sound ok?
When she saw my nan, which is almost everyday she would give her Haribo, Jaffa cakes, Mini rolls and ice lollies. This is everyday.
I put a stop to it as I think thats too much? Its not her that will end up at the dentist with my DD when she needs a tooth out. No, it'll me and my DH!
My nan is 80ish. She is over weight, has trouble walking and standing and eats a whole family sized Apple Pie for dinner. The doctor has told her to loose weight and she hasn't took any notice.
I have no idea how to handle this. I don't know if i should 'relax'abit or am i doing the right thing? Help!
AIBU?
about how much my daughter eats?
MommyBird · 21/07/2014 09:17
If I didn't know better, I'd think we must be related! My family are also on a mission to stuff my kids with crap. It's what they always eat and, although they don't tend to criticise me to my face, I think they do consider my kids to be deprived. The fact that my Nan and my Mum are both hugely overweight and have Type 2 diabetes is just coincidence and genetics... 
Sounds like you are doing fine so carry on. The occasional treat from her Nan won't hurt her and don't engage with any debate about it. You are the parent - end of. If she's irritating you then just restrict your visits. You don't have to put up with it.
My little boy eats loads, and I mean loads. Healthy stuff but he does have smacks as well, he's obsessed with crisps (ASC) he eats way more than I do, but he is ALWAYS on the go. No DVD days for us because he needs to be doing something all the time.
He is really skinny, like super skinny, you can see his ribs but he eats like a fully grown man. He clearly needs to and the paediatrician told me to just let him eat as much as he needs to because he's burning so many calories it's just what he needs.
As long as she's eating until she's full and has plenty of energy she is fine
You are 100% in the right, your nan is 100% in the wrong.
Your dd's diet is not at all restricted, you have the right attitude to treats and sweets. Put your foot down with your nan, a small packet of sweets, or cake, etc., once a week from her is fine, or even better fruit as you have already suggested, the fruit this time of year strawberries, raspberries, cherries, peaches, etc., are fantastic.
I'm not sure if it is a generational thing when I was young we had sweets/chocolate occasionally and in small quantities from parents and grandparents alike, if we were taken out for the day by grandparents we would have an ice cream as a treat, never would we be given the quantity of sweet stuff your nan is thrusting on your dd. More often than not we would be given a piece of fruit, (rhubarb from the garden to be eaten raw(!) and we loved it
).
My own dcs had sweets/treats occasionally and they are the same with their dcs and I don't pile sweets and crap onto/into my dgcs, I take my lead from their parents.
When I said "I take my lead from their parents", I didn't mean to imply I would give them sweets and crap , at the moment I am buying cherries by the bucketload as that is the treat of choice!
Her diet sound varied and healthy. I know a number of children her age who don't eat as well as her.
My sister was tall and very slim and didn't fill out until she was 16 or so.
I think it is important for both your daughter and your nan to have a relationship, it is enriching for both their lives.
I would perhaps send her with a packed lunch and snacks and explain that she is on a specific diet and the HV has said she should stick to this an not have extras with the exception of perhaps 1 or 2 Jaffa cakes (low fat) if she (nan) wants to give her a little treat. It is a little white lie but might make your life easier and not upset your nan.
Good luck 
Any child who is thin not fat these days gets labelled as someone who is going to have an eating disorder! My DD is 12, not particularly excited by food and fussy but eats plenty if what she likes (including salads, certain fruits, pizza, crackers, shepherd's pie etc -a real odd mix!) She is petite and slim-exactly like I was at her age. Your daughter's diet seems fine, she doesn't need junk food. Ignore your nan-it's an old person's prerogative to have odd ideas about things! 
My DH is allergic to a lot of additives in processed food.
You could simply say that she gets a horrible rash/diarrhoea from X, Y & Z. Weirdly Jaffa cakes and organic gingerbread men are fine
Ultimately - she's 80 ish. How much rubbish and how frequently can she give this stuff to your DD. Better that DD has a memory of her than you avoid visiting her Great (?) Gran because she has a bad habit of stocking up on cream cakes before you visit.
Is your dad going to help you get the message across to her?
I did laugh at the sugar in sweets is the same as in fruit, Haribo will be delighted with that news!!
I fail to understand the logic of depriving a child of crappy food, and you are not depriving your child of occasional sweets and cakes, you are setting a very good example, stick to it and insist your nan does too.
Yes he is :)
She tried to give her a packet. Not one. A packet. Of those Jelly sweets covered in sugar.
My dad told her she isn't allowed them and she said 'it didn't d you any harm'
He had to go into hospital as a child to have teeth out as they was rotten.
She doesn't remember this
She is not a horrible person i promise you.
Im not really painting her in a good light!
I think she's just old and doesn't understand all of the new research.
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Yes, I am sure her age has something to do with it, people are set in their ways and have selective memory the older they get.
I think you just need to put your foot down and then say that's it nan, no more discussion, this is how it will be, and then talk about something else. Maybe you could try a bit of 'nan, you wouldn't have been happy if your mum or gran had interfered with your parenting would you?'
Thing is that "it never did you any harm" is such an annoying thing to hear, if we used that as a guide imagine the sort of food we'd still be eating, and the working and living conditions we'd still be subject to. Especially as it clearly did harm your dad.
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