Children's arrangements dispute

[Followmedown]

Hi, I look after my children Saturday evening to Tuesday. Tonight, Sunday, was my daughters birthday and her mum wanted to take her out to a restaurant. I didn't much like the idea as my daughter was also supposed to go to a party all day so I wouldn't see her hardly at all. Then the party was cancelled and I agreed to her mum taking her out. The question is pretty basic: my ex in these situations always wants me to take the children to hers first, then I have to pick them up at the end. I think she should pick them up if she wants to take them out. Whenever I try to do it my way, as tonight there is a massive row. This evening she has threatened to try to get full custody of the kids in our divorce, told me she doesn't want me looking after them any more and then her dad called me a piece of shit in the street for not going to the very door of the restaurant to pick the kids up (they had to cross a road). I did take them and pick them up. Any comments appreciated.

[BlackeyedSusan]

yabu. you should have ploughed through the pedestrians and parked on the pavement at the door. [sarcastic]

why do you have them every weekend? [nosy]

did he say that in front of the children?

how long have you been having them for the current arrangements?

have you got legal representation? sounds like you might need it.

[EarthWindFire]

The likelihood of her getting sole residence is very slim, especially as you have a virtually 50:50 split.

She shouldn't be using your children as pawns in a game.

[Followmedown]

Thanks for replying. I was being a bit picky not going to the door but as you can imagine I rather wanted to avoid her parents.. Yes he said this to me in front of the kids. Current arrangements have stood for about 18 months. Have always had them every weekend, we basically split contact fifty fifty. Yes, considering legal representation, thanks, rather belatedly. Just don't really want it to be a fight in court. We have been through mediation.

[Followmedown]

Thanks EWF

[Followmedown]

Morning, just asking again, aibu to not want to take and pick up kids for my ex when she wants to take them out on my days with them? see original post for more detail. Thanks

[SquinkiesRule]

She wants them on your days, she picks them up. Sounds fair.

[mindthegap79]

YANBU, from your original post.

[JenniferJo]

YANBU. Her father sounds awful, no wonder you wanted to avoid him. Remember to mention his behaviour if there is ever a dispute over custody.

[wheresthelight]

If she is changing things on your days with the kids then imo she needs to do the running about.

We have similar issues with my dsc's mum though so you have my sympathy as it's not easy!

[FunkyBoldRibena]

So she never ever gets a weekend with them?

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

Yanbu, if she wants to muck things about she should be the one running around!

[Followmedown]

Funky, she has them Saturday during the day, and sometimes takes them away on holiday. Thanks everyone for your replies so far!