Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

AIBU?

To think you can never run away from debt?

141 replies

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:42

Have NC for privacy as lots of details may out me if linked with previous threads.
Basically I've been with my DP for a couple of years. I have a teenage DS and DP's children are grown up and moved out. DS lives with me at weekends. I moved in with DP a few months ago as I was in rented and it felt emotionally and financially the sensible thing to do for us.
Anyway we decided the other day to look into moving. I knew DP had had a few financial hiccups about 10 years ago (got into debt seriously, house at risk of repossession, ended with a charge being put onto the house by a loan company). Anyway when we spoke about moving, DP kind of dropped hints about credit rating not being great and there being more debts other than the ones which got charged to the house. We spoke about it and they opened up and told me that although there's also about £40k on various credit cards, it's apparently not a problem as all the companies have given up chasing, having been given the runaround for the last 5-6 years. DP never answers the landline nor answers the front door and it turns out that all the credit card companies have backed off and nothing has been heard from them for about a couple of years now. I am shocked, firstly at the level of debt that has just been ignored and secondly at the fact that DP has seemingly got away with this. Is this likely to be the case?

Am now thinking that a mortgage is not going to happen for us...no equity in house after charge from loan company, very little deposit and credit rating shot to bits. I'm employed but my salary will not be considered anywhere near enough to get a mortgage for that house. And to be honest I'm not sure I want to get financially tied to someone who can't see the seriousness of that level of debt :(

I'm having nightmares over the credit card companies coming to chase the debt up. Have they really disappeared? Has anyone got any experience of this? Sorry for the long post :(

OP posts:

Report

ohdearitshappeningtome · 20/07/2014 20:44

Are you honestly sure you want to be with somebody who kept something like that from you? 40k is a big debt! Do you want to spend the rest of your life never answering the phone, or your front door?

SiennaBlake · 20/07/2014 20:46

Why on earth did you move in with him and get linked to him financially?! 40k is not a small debt. It'll be chased.

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 20:49

A mortgage certainly won't happen for him . I hope your finances are not linked in any way.

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:50

DP is adamant it's been so long the credit card companies won't even bother - apparently it's spread over a few cards so not as much to each of them so not high priority to the company? And the accounts were over the limit for so long that apparently they just write the money off...according to DP. I really don't know if it's knowledge or wishful thinking coming up with these facts. It is true though that none of these companies have contacted us within the last couple of years so I can see why this seems to be the case?! So so confused right now...

OP posts:

Loletta · 20/07/2014 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shakey1500 · 20/07/2014 20:50

Practically speaking (and I'm not an expert) but I believe there is something called Statute Barred? Where if a debt has been owed for more than 7 years, a company cannot pursue the debt if the debtor has not acknowledged the debt by way of making payment in that time. But I may be wrong.

Morally I believe that to be totally wrong and I certaintly couldn't be with someone who might think it "clever" to behave this way. There's just no way I could trust them.

At the very least, if I absolutely loved the bones of them and were prepared to accept this there's NO WAY I would have anything of mine financially connected to him.

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 20:51

After six years, if nothing has been paid towards them they can become statute barred, which means they can no longer be lawfully chased for it. It also falls off credit reference agencies aswell.

How do you know he doesn't know the seriousness of the debt? Do you know he hasn't tried to negotiate with them on the past? Do you know if he has asked them for details such as a copy of his credit agreement that they have failed to supply him with? Do you know what the debt is for?

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:51

The biggest problem we have is that all these debts, some present, some past keep coming out of the woodwork and DP just doesn't take them seriously at all. Not even admitting there's any hint of a problem there at all. That's not right is it?!

OP posts:

Loletta · 20/07/2014 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SiennaBlake · 20/07/2014 20:52

They don't write them off, do they? They sell the debts on and on and on to people who think they'll be able to find him. The companies might not contact him but debt collectors could be after him.

And are you saying he owns a house? He'd have lost that surely?

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 20:52

Never reply to any letters they send otherwise the clock starts ticking again.

I think this is only if payment is made.

Loletta · 20/07/2014 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:54

Debts were for various things, credit cards, re-mortgaging and loans against the house when re-mortgaging was no longer an option, all to pay for a lavish lifestyle, holidays etc with previous DP. Salary is withdrawn on the day it was paid into account in order to prevent it being taken by bank to pay other things

OP posts:

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 20:54

They don't write them off, do they? They sell the debts on and on and on to people who think they'll be able to find him. The companies might not contact him but debt collectors could be after him.

They may sell it on, but the clock doesn't start ticking again.

He may not actually owe the full amount either as debt collectors add stupid amounts into the debt for sending letters etc.

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:56

Yes DP owns a house but no equity left in it as it's all been borrowed. So best they could do is break even if it were sold but is in such a bad state of repair due to debts preventing essential maintenance/repairs etc it's likely to make a loss.

This just sounds worse and worse doesn't it :( could there be some kind of mental health issue where DP just is so far past the point of denial that they actually believe there's no problem?

OP posts:

SiennaBlake · 20/07/2014 20:56

Bugger. So because I did it properly and replied, I get chased for massive interests and fines but if I'd ignored them for six years I'd be free?! Grrrr.

My new lesson for the day!

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 20/07/2014 20:57

I think this would be a deal breaker for me. I just wouldn't want the worry and £40K is a huge amount of debt to run up without having a plan to get out of debt again (eg business start up or something). How can he be so vague? He must know how many CCs he has, surely? I suspect there's a lot more about your DP you don't know and I wouldn't want to know, quite frankly.

Namechangearoonie123 · 20/07/2014 20:57

If he's not paid anything for 6 years they become statute barred - what this means is that they become legally unenforceable so you can tell debt collectors to bugger off and put any bills that arrive in the bin.

He should check his credit rating for free on Noddle - takes minutes and then you'll know where you stand

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:58

The thing is as well that DP has been in the same house for about 30 years now so it's not like the credit card companies couldn't find DP - there was even bailiffs etc at the door at one point but no-one answered so they couldn't get in to get contact with DP. It's things like this that make me believe that the companies really won't enforce it at all.

OP posts:

weatherall · 20/07/2014 20:58

There is the statute of limitations but I can't remember all the details off the top of my head.

Lots of debts are written off.

DP maybe able to 'get away with it'.

But don't ever get a joint asset eg house/car/bank account.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 20/07/2014 20:58

Sienna - but you did the right thing morally. That counts for a lot.

londonrach · 20/07/2014 20:59

I think they get sold on, interest and other costs added. Please talk to cab. I suggest you keep yourself financially separate at the moment... (Hugs).

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

solvendie · 20/07/2014 21:00

Yes - the debt will be statute barred after 6 years if your DP has not acknowledged the debt in that time. Companies may still chase the debt after this time but you can write to them and get it cancelled. This link provides details forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2606811

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:00

Checked credit rating a while ago on experian - score was below 50 (out of 1000). That's pretty bad isn't it...

OP posts:

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 21:00

Bugger. So because I did it properly and replied, I get chased for massive interests and fines but if I'd ignored them for six years I'd be free?! Grrrr.

Only if you hadn't paid anything to them. Replying I don't think matters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.