To think I'm never going to get pregnant...

(164 Posts)
Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 18-Jul-14 10:46:12

Just in hospital recovering from my second egg collection - first ivf cycle failed.

The consultant has said I need a 'full review' because he thinks there's something wrong with me as well as the fact we have extreme make factor issues. We knew about the mfi which is why we went for ivf (icsi) in the first place but didnt expect my eggs to be total crap. I'm 31, ovulate every month, have good levels of follicles.
Today they've retrieved 9 eggs. Same as last time. I've already given up. I'm tempted not to bother taking the progesterone. What's the point? Sperm are crap. Eggs are crap.

And no, I don't want to adopt.

I'm so fed up.

frumpypigskin Fri 01-Aug-14 19:03:10

Sorry to hear your news too Sleeps.

Are you able to take some time off so you and your partner can have some time together? Maybe don't make any decisions just yet but just take a break to recover and enjoy some time with your partner. Remind yourself that life is about more than trying to get pregnant.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 01-Aug-14 07:39:57

Oh sorry just reread - will you do the donor cycle in the uk?

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 01-Aug-14 07:39:16

:-( sorry to hear Lauren - what will you do now? Will you have another go?

BFN here too unsurprisingly. I think my gut feeling re not getting pregnant is right and I don't know if I can bring myself to spend all that money again. Maybe it's just not meant to be?

Lauren83 Thu 31-Jul-14 20:39:14

frumpypigskin

Thankyou its appreciated! smile

frumpypigskin Thu 31-Jul-14 20:12:30

Very sorry to hear that Lauren83. Wishing you the very best of luck for the next round.

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 13:13:33

I got a BFN today sad

Hope you're doing ok Sleeps

Donor ivf #4 coming in 2015......

Happilymarried155 Mon 28-Jul-14 19:18:26

Also have you discussed extra things such as the endo scratch that helps with implantation and embryoscope. I did both this time, every little helps x

Happilymarried155 Mon 28-Jul-14 19:16:13

Keep positive! I too have been in your position. It's heartbreaking and so hard but you will get there. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant with our first baby and like you had some really dark, depressing days when I thought it wouldn't happen.

Sending you lots of love x

frumpypigskin Mon 28-Jul-14 17:37:47

Your thread really struck a cord with me as I was in your position 7 years ago. I spent 5 years trying to get pregnant and had clomid cycles and IVF. On my 3rd frozen embryo cycle I was convinced it was going to be another negative as I had a spot of bleeding at a certain point of the cycle.

I phoned my boss in tears and couldn't go into work the next day. I went out with a friend and got hammered and smoked cigarettes (even though I didn't smoke normally). I even went to see the counsellor at the clinic and was really angry and upset with her. I spent the whole hour crying.

I was actually pregnant with twins. I hope this doesn't make you feel worse (I used to hate success stories with a passion). I understand that having hope is incredibly hard but you've got to give yourself a chance.

Have a good holiday. Try to relax. And keep up with the bleedin' progesterone.

Good luck OP

VenusDeWillendorf Mon 28-Jul-14 10:29:58

Hugs to you sleeps, it's a tough road.
Fwiw we were refused ICSI and IVF as my DHs sperm were so bad, <5% alive, badly shaped, couldn't swim and died quickly.

We were TTCing for three years, and not a whisper of any pg. both on organic foods, yoga, no toxins, multi mineral and vitamins etc etc.

So, in my final cycle of TTCing we timed dtd for after all EWCM was gone, and I thought we had really missed the boat.

He had a strong cup of coffee before we dtd 2 days postovulation, I thought we would never conceive, but we did, after three years, and being refused by three clinics any ART. (Unless donor sperm).

I was ready to give up completely, and had accepted I wouldn't have a child.

If you're stopping prog because of hopelessness, please don't. You don't know yet, and I feel it would be limiting your chances if you do.

Wishing you a lovely holiday, and hope you and your DH can reconnect as human beings!! Also fingers crossed for you xxx

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 10:05:59

The idiot poster yesterday was very rude but seeing as I'm in the same boat as you I think I'm qualified to say

Bloody pull yourself together woman!!

Don't give up let's keep each other going

HopefulHamster Mon 28-Jul-14 10:01:24

It's definitely possible to implant after day 10! And I was using 10miu tests when I had an early faint positive (which still pretty much disappeared the next day in weaker wee!).

You might not be pregnant but you MIGHT BE!

You're PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise, all right?

I didn't feel pregnant until I felt the baby move at 20 weeks, some people just don't.

Good luck for the next few days!

I really hope you don't stop the progesterone, why would you reduce your own chances by your own avoidable actions? Especially after spending so much money? I would be giving those embryos every chance.

25miu is really not very sensitive at all and hardly anyone gets a positive so early. Don't go back to the clinic if that is how you feel, but I urge you not to self sabotage.

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 09:38:35

Well you wouldn't feel pregnant if you hadn't implanted, most don't get symptoms until after a BFP, it takes a couple of days after implantation for hormones to start being pumped out

Countdown to pregnancy site says at 10 DPO 33% of ladies who turned out to be pregnant tested negative at that point

A sensitive test is 10 by the way so the one you used wasn't even the most sensitive

Have a great hol, don't lose hope, I have been ttc 7 years and I'm on my 3rd ivf I know how hard it is I really do x

Sleepswithbutterflies Mon 28-Jul-14 08:45:50

We are going on holiday today so hopefully that'll take my mind off.
Good luck Lauren - you have more willpower then me.

I suppose it just feels like I'm kidding myself to think my BFN is wrong. It's far more likely I'm not pregnant. I don't feel pregnant.

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 08:39:49

How does your logic factor in with the fact some ladies don't even implant until 13dpo? If you were an early implanter yes it would pick up, but if you implanted at most popular time of 9dpo or later it wouldn't?

Look at it like this...if you think your embies were slow what makes you think they implanted early?

So what makes you think that BFN is accurate?

I haven't tested yet I'm going back to work early to save my sanity

Lambzig Mon 28-Jul-14 08:39:36

You dont have to go back to the clinic, ever, but please carry on with the progesterone until your proper testing day at least.

Sleepswithbutterflies Mon 28-Jul-14 07:37:22

My test detects at 25mui - according to my net based research if I was pregnant it would easily be that by day 10.

Sleepswithbutterflies Mon 28-Jul-14 07:36:17

10dpo (7dp3dt) BFN.
I am getting fat though so I look pregnant. Thanks progesterone for that.
I'm out.
I would prefer not to return to the clinic to be patronised by my consultant. We are going to look at donor blastocyst in Europe. Probably Spain.
We know dh has problems with the sperm and if my eggs are rubbish too it seems costly and pointless to keep trying the same thing over and over again.

Thanks everyone for your support and well wishes.

Lambzig Sun 27-Jul-14 19:15:09

Oh please, please keep up with the progesterone. I had heavy bleeding so did a test, yes the cheapie ones, 13d po (11d pt) and got a BFN. Wanted to stop but clinic insisted I carried on until d15 pt and get a blood test (weekend in the way) Kept testing every day just to torture myself, all BFN, blood test came back positive and day 16 POAS was finally positive. DS (my terrible dodgy looking embryo, the only one of 8 worth putting back at day 2) is now 21 months.

Its way too early to write it off, but I do get the feeling of wanting it to be over instead of having to carry on with a bit of hope.

Woobeedoo Sun 27-Jul-14 17:11:27

Sleepswith,

Please please keep on with the progesterone and keep in mind there's a reason why the clinic give you a test date and tell you not to test before (no matter how much you want to).

The most sensitive of tests can still not work that early, I used an ultra sensitive test 14days after a 3 day transfer and my positive result was still very faint.

Rooting for you.

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 27-Jul-14 16:45:08

OP i have every thing crossed for you, even though some test claim to be super sensitive and can test a week before a missed period I would give it to Friday ( i know easier said then done)

EllenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 27-Jul-14 16:36:17

Afternoon everyone. Just wanted to say thanks to all who've posted their advice, shared experiences and general support for the OP.

Don't want to be too heavy handed, but deleting one comment that has been reported as nasty (and the one where it's been copied - thanks for acknowledging this Bogeyface).

Hope things work out for you Sleepswithbutterflies and that you are well supported in RL too thanks

Bogeyface Sun 27-Jul-14 15:52:37

I have reported your post sarah under the new guidelines, I realise I will probably get deleted as well as I c&p'd it but I can live with that.

HopefulHamster Sun 27-Jul-14 15:05:09

Sarah - what is the point of saying that? There's always someone worse off but the OP is going through real significant pain at the moment. This site is for supporting each other. Try it sometime.

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