To think I'm never going to get pregnant...

(164 Posts)
Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 18-Jul-14 10:46:12

Just in hospital recovering from my second egg collection - first ivf cycle failed.

The consultant has said I need a 'full review' because he thinks there's something wrong with me as well as the fact we have extreme make factor issues. We knew about the mfi which is why we went for ivf (icsi) in the first place but didnt expect my eggs to be total crap. I'm 31, ovulate every month, have good levels of follicles.
Today they've retrieved 9 eggs. Same as last time. I've already given up. I'm tempted not to bother taking the progesterone. What's the point? Sperm are crap. Eggs are crap.

And no, I don't want to adopt.

I'm so fed up.

Lambzig Mon 21-Jul-14 15:35:42

Oh my goodness, that sounds like good progress and you need to keep your spirits up and get destracted. Try and visualise them implanting (I am never sure if I believe in that stuff, but its worth a try). Sounds very promising.

Are you good at keeping yourself distracted during the 2ww?.

I will pm you re clinics, but sounds like you wont need them.

OlderMummy1 Mon 21-Jul-14 21:55:41

I had treatment at the Priory for infertility and found it a miserable experience. Consultant was horrible!!! My sister had her IVF at Midland Fertility Services in Aldridge. She had such a lovely experience, everyone was so positive and kind. The consultant said she would bet her career on my sister being a mum one day....as we all sat there in tears, reeling from the cancer diagnosis and the sudden IVF that became necessary. Sure enough, first try was a success. Maybe go and see them, see if you like the place x

OlderMummy1 Mon 21-Jul-14 22:03:05

Also found Birmingham Women's absolutely dire! My sister went there 1st and because she had a BMI of 31 rather than 30 the consultant said 'you are too fat, IVF won't work for you'. Like she had time to lose those extra few pounds what with that pesky stage 4 cancer diagnosis. She would have been dead in a month without chemo hence the urgency of the IVF. First time I've ever seen my distraught mum almost punch someone. Midland Fertility Clinic didn't bat an eyelid at all my sister's 'issues'.

Cranfieldmc Mon 21-Jul-14 23:04:53

Excellent news Sleeps, My twins were a 7 cell and a six cell both grade 2. Hope it works out as well for you. Be good to yourself during the 2ww do lots of MN (but not the fertility boards). Try not to test early as it will probably just make you miserable. Baby dust xx

Toottootoffwego Mon 21-Jul-14 23:32:14

The Priory results are pretty shabby. Honestly it's worth finding somewhere with better results. That = less cycles to a baby!!!

Lauren83 Tue 22-Jul-14 01:12:02

Good luck!!!

I know how stressful it all is, I'm on my 2ww from my 3rd cycle first time with donor eggs and from the donor we got 1 2 cell 2 day grade 2-3 embie that's it

Not got much hope as you can imagine but hang on in there and keep positive

Good luck, I really hope this cycle works. Rooting for you thanks

nokidshere Wed 23-Jul-14 11:09:09

Good Luck and hugs from me too. I had 2 failed attempts at IVF and in total 15 years of infertility treatments when they wrote me off and said there was nothing else they could do for me - its a horrible feeling.

Then when I was 39 I fell pregnant. And when I was 41 I fell pregnant again!!! Please don't write yourself off just yet!

Sleepswithbutterflies Wed 23-Jul-14 12:18:49

Thank you. I'm trying to hold on to hope that one day it'll happen.

Our remaining four embies (4 cells at day 3) haven't made it. Embryologist said they divided quite well but didn't compact whatever that means. So not looking good for my two that returned.
It's driving me mad not knowing for sure. I mean I'm pretty sure it hasn't worked but that tiny little bit of hope won't quite die altogether.

GinIceAndASlice Thu 24-Jul-14 18:47:31

How are you today? The remaining embryos mean nothing. On my last cycle the one that didnt get put back didn't make it either. I still ended up with twins.

Thinking of you x

Esmum07 Thu 24-Jul-14 19:01:14

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. We had two rounds of IVF (ICSI). The first time I didn't produce any eggs (I was 43 so a long shot). Second time I had three eggs. That was it but the clinic (the Lister in London) did ICSI on all of them. I cried down the phone to DH when I got a call to say they had all fertilised. Because of my age and only having three they transferred all three as quickly as possible. I had an eight, a seven and a four cell. Then I took to the sofa for two weeks. Literally I did nothing except make a sandwich and watch day time TV for two weeks! Bliss!

The result is currently having his bath...he is seven years old now. I have no idea if he is the 8,7 or4 cell wonder but whatever he is he is the apple of our eye.

Good luck. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE and rest, rest rest!

Sleepswithbutterflies Thu 24-Jul-14 20:36:04

Thank you all for thinking of me.
I'm ok, I'm trying to keep my hopes very low. I know with a 7 and a 6 it's not great odds.
I'd have felt better if the 7 had been an 8. Because they're all a bit slow I suspect my 7 slowed down and stopped. The clinic seemed to think it may well go to an 8 but Ive started to think they just tell you what you want to hear.

Embryo transfer wasn't exactly smooth either. It took forever because the dr couldn't find where to put them. They went in and out the incubator and the tube twice. Not great.

So I know everything is against them.

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 10:15:15

I have a 2 cell 'slow' donor egg on board and have lost hope, I had a difficult transfer on my own egg cycle as I have a u bend in my uterus and its stuck down on one side, they had to change equipment a few times and had to do it blind as nothing was visible on the screen but they reassured me they wouldn't of gone ahead with the transfer unless they were 100% sure, they sedated me for this transfer so they could manhandle me a bit more getting in

Good luck!

When will you test?

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 25-Jul-14 10:35:58

Yes I have a u-bend uterus too! Shall we form a club?

I don't know. I might not bother testing. There seems no point. I might just pop into the clinic next Friday which is my testing day and then leave.
When is your date?

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 13:12:31

Have you got endo? Its a nightmare isn't it, I change clinics after my failed cycle and had a scratch, it was at the scratch he was completely flummoxed and said he won't do it without sedation, they paid for the sedation as it was there choice

My otd is 4th aug which is 18 dpo, I'm not gonna wait that long but its hardly of going to worked with a slow 2 cell, when's yours sorry?

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 25-Jul-14 14:09:50

Not as far as I know, just a funny tilted uterus. Our issue is male factor as far as we know.

Next Friday it my test date, 14 dpo.

Was your 2 cell a 2dt? If so it wasn't slow.

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 14:25:08

I'm 14 dpo on the thu, they told me it was slow, there was another but it fertilised then got stuck at the pronuclei stage and never developed the cells

Last year I had an own egg double transfer on a day 3 9 and 10 cell that didn't work so I'm not holding out much hope

Have you had any symptoms?

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 25-Jul-14 14:41:31

Your own eggs sound fine - people have success with that number of cells. Why have you had donor egg if you don't mind me asking? I'm only 4 dpt so probably too early for symptoms but I think anything at this stage is just caused by the progesterone anyway.

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 16:48:37

My FSH jumped to 23 so my second ivf got cancelled, the clinic need it to be under 10, I had had too much surgery on my ovaries and saw an endocrinologist who said it was early menopause, so we switched to donor expecting lots of good eggs and frosties and got 1, not when I expected at all

Sleepswithbutterflies Sat 26-Jul-14 13:37:44

When do you think it would be possible to get a bfp or reliable bfn after a 3dt?
About a week after?

I'm starting to want to test! Even though I know it will be bfn. Then at least I can move on or try to.

Lauren83 Sat 26-Jul-14 13:45:55

10 dpo would be early to get a reliable answer, 12 dpo I think if you use an early test or 14 dpo with a normal (11 days past 3 day transfer)

I'm 7 days past a 2 day today

Lauren83 Sat 26-Jul-14 13:51:46

There's a website countdown to pregnancy (sorry I don't know how to link) it tells you what % of pregnant ladies got a BFP or BFN on each dpo

I look at it everyday!

Sleepswithbutterflies Sat 26-Jul-14 14:02:44

I'm 8 dpo today.
5dp a 3dt.

I just want to know! Even though I already know in my heart anyway.

Lauren83 Sat 26-Jul-14 14:09:49

I have completely given up hope myself, when are you going to test? I'm going to try to wait til early next week at least

Have you had any signs at all?

Cranfieldmc Sat 26-Jul-14 14:15:24

Personally I wouldn't test too early. I tested 13dp 3d transfer and got bfn and some blood. It felt like my last chance and I was very down afterwards and got sloshed that night with my mum. Proper bf never arrived so tested again and bfp. Spent a lot of first trimester guilty about the alcohol intake (and guilty about all the flak my poor mum had to take that night). Basically if you test early and it's bfn you won't really believe it anyway and will probably keep testing just to make sure. Have everything crossed for you. Sounds like there is still a good chance.

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