To think this dog walker should have apologised

(28 Posts)
andsmile Fri 18-Jul-14 10:39:32

Walking down a wide lane with DS (8) and DD (2.5)

DD walking right next to me (not holding hands - dont knnow if that may be relevant)

A small black dog like a border collie came bounding up to my DD and jumped up at her, she stumbled back a bit but got her footing just as I reached to the side to catch her. The dog jumped twice more. I didnt feel I should touch the dog and picked DD up. The dog was wet. I did not know if this dog was indeed friendly - but I suppose in hindsight it was if off lead.

We have been out a lot in parks etc and Ive been teaching DD wait, be gentle whilst asking owners if it is ok to stroke their dog and showing DD how to let the dogs sniff her first to say 'hello'

So I was a bit pissed off that this owner recalled her dog after several requests, didnt ask if DD was ok (she was aside from dirty paw marks up t shirt which didnt bother me really) or acknowledge anything at all. She was too far away to see DD about 15 meters.

This lane is a main thoroughfare (tarmac) for bikes, families and walkers. There are two large play parks either end of it, and both have large carparks and eatery places - so it is always busy with a variety of users.

AIBU to think it would be polite just to check/say sorry about that or some sort of acknowledgement.

pictish Fri 18-Jul-14 10:41:53

Probably...but if she didn't see it....
Forget about it now.

andsmile Fri 18-Jul-14 10:58:48

I know I should but she did see it. She told the dog off - poor thing. it needed t be shown how to behave maybe.

pictish Fri 18-Jul-14 11:01:15

You said she was too far away to see dd. Sorry I'm confused.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Fri 18-Jul-14 11:03:30

She should have apologised to you- I would have said 'you need to keep your dog on a lead if you can't control it'. YANBU

Greyhound Fri 18-Jul-14 11:35:50

YANBU

I am a dog walker and dog owner and can't bear people who don't control their dogs. The dog should have been on a lead if it was bouncy, wet and not good at recall. And yes, she should have apologised.

MrsWinnibago Fri 18-Jul-14 11:38:35

YANBU, like you I have spent time teaching my children how to behave around animals, how to respect them and never to approach dogs they don't know. Owners need to do the same.

andsmile Fri 18-Jul-14 12:16:39

pictish sorry I can see how that is confusing. She could see the dog running towards DD and jumping up, but would have been too far to see if she had scratched her face/neck - DD is only 2.5 quite little.

I must say I have experienced plenty other dog walkers that have asked if DD would like to pet their dogs as they have seen her looking and pointing. The have been very accommodating of the excited to see a doggy. I have always checked.

Vintagejazz Fri 18-Jul-14 12:28:11

YANBU but some people are just so rude, inconsiderate and wrapped up in themselves they don't even think about any one else.

Nicola19 Fri 18-Jul-14 12:29:19

Yes owner should have apologised. I think you were very restrained, these are just the type of situations where I express how pissed off I am at the owner!

andsmile Fri 18-Jul-14 12:32:14

Thanks for the reassurances - I think it has been one of those situations where I wished I'd said something so has been narking me a little. Im not sure I would have found the right words on the spot quick enough.

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 18-Jul-14 12:46:46

Yadnbu and IMO if she can't control the dog off the lead then the dog should be on a lead. You may get flamed though I posted something similar a few months back and it didn't go do well with everyone. I really wish owners would be more considerate when around children especially babies and toddlers though.
On another note Since the school holidays have started (we're in east mids) I've seen 2 sets of children walking their dogs, one was a couple of 8ish year old with small dog (not sure type) and yest saw a 9-10 year old with younger child and pitbull which honestly I think it fucking ridiculous how can small child control a dog on their own?! <gets off soapbox>

MissBattleaxe Fri 18-Jul-14 12:56:06

YANBU.

Dog owners are not entitled to let their dogs "be friendly" to whoever they damn well please. I'm sick of my kids being licked and jumped at just because the owner thinks its OK. I'm their mother and I say it's NOT OK.
But apparently my view is not as valid as the dog owner's view.

Can you tell this happens to me a lot?

OP your DD is only 2.5- no way should it ever be Ok for a large dog to jump on her. YANBU x100.

(Apologies to all you nice, responsible dog owners, I do know that its a minority giving the rest of you a bad name)

ikeaismylocal Fri 18-Jul-14 13:18:35

I think yabu ( just a little bit) I was at the park with 18 month old ds the other day, a little pug escaped from it's lead and ran over to ds barking excitedly, it jumped at ds so I picked ds up, the owner came over and was so extremely apologetic and asked ds "are you OK!!" in a very dramatic way, ds picked up on her serious manner and kept saying ok, ok in a pained way.

I like to try to be calm around incidences, when ds falls over I wait for him to react rather than run over to him, ofcourse I cuddle him and pick him up if he cries but he very rarely cries possibly because I don't make a fuss about non events.

I don't want dog owners being dramatic or concerned when their friendly dog jumps up at my ds, it's only a dog, it's important to teach kids not to be afraid of dogs.

andsmile Fri 18-Jul-14 13:55:56

ikea - but your dog owner responded - not the way you'd have preferred but you got a show of concern.

when their friendly dog jumps up - but that's the point dogs should not be jumping up at small children my DD is a toddler. Whether they are friendly or not. Is the dog owner gonna come and wipe my DD's face and use hand sanitiser on her hands - how do they know we ok with dogs and their mouths and stuff? How do they know she is not allergic. Rude and assumptious.

I dont walk around letting random people kiss me and my DC's so why is it ok for dogs to especially considering what they sniff and lick.

MissBattleaxe Sat 19-Jul-14 00:15:53

I don't want dog owners being dramatic or concerned when their friendly dog jumps up at my ds, it's only a dog, it's important to teach kids not to be afraid of dogs.

A bit less indifference from some dog owners would be nice.

It is not OK for a dog to jump on my kids and I don't care how bloody friendly it is and I don't count "he won't hurt them" as a substitute for good recall.

Yes it's important to teach kids not to be scared of dogs but it would be nice if some dog owners taught their dogs not to jump on kids too.

To my 4 yo, a large dog is like a grizzly bear. I can't count the number of times an indifferent dog owner has smilingly told me "he's friendly" or "she won't hurt them". I get really irritated. How about bloody asking me first?

"Is it Ok if my large dog jumps on your four year old and tries to lick his face?"

But no, they never check first, they just think their dog's right to be friendly trumps my right as a mother to keep their animal off my small child.

andsmile Sat 19-Jul-14 00:18:13

thanks mrs battle-axe

trufflesnout Sat 19-Jul-14 00:51:33

So a dog jumped up to your DD which you were a little pissed about but since she wasn't harmed you didn't really care. The owner didn't it but recalled the dog and reprimanded it for running off/jumping up/whatever she did see.

YANBU - an apology would have been nice but since you didn't say anything I'm not sure what you expected. Yes, the walker was wrong to have a bouncy dog off the lead - but some people are idiots and need it pointing out to them that they are being inconsiderate.

If there's a next time, say something, but for now I'd let it go.

trufflesnout Sat 19-Jul-14 00:51:46

*didn't see it

maddening Sat 19-Jul-14 01:11:51

She'd have been pissed off if your dc had jumped on her dog - you teach your dc not to, if her dog can't be trusted not to jump up at others then it should not be off the lead in public.

wheresthelight Sat 19-Jul-14 03:03:53

She may not have seen how close her dog was to your dd when it was jumping and therefore not known til she was closer that the dog had made contact iyswim. As you didn't say anything to her she may have thought you were ok with it or she was too busy trying to train the dog by telling it off that it just slipped her mind.

Yanbu but it may not be as straight forward as she was being rude

differentnameforthis Sat 19-Jul-14 04:20:27

I don't want dog owners being dramatic or concerned when their friendly dog jumps up at my ds, it's only a dog, it's important to teach kids not to be afraid of dogs.

It isn't about being afraid of dogs.

I am a dog owner, and I have taught my children to be respectful of dogs. You don't go running up to them squealing, you don't touch them unless you ask the owner, you always lets the dog sniff you first & you stay away from their faces (lots of dogs I know don't like being touched on their faces). My girls love all dogs, and aren't afraid of any type. Even though one large dog was allowed to run straight into one of them & knocked her face down in the sea! Thankfully dh was 2 steps away & lifted her out, but she still was shaken for a few minutes.

I told the owner that perhaps her dog (no recall) should be on a lead if she couldn't control it & she immediately got defensive about it being a dog friendly beach! Which yes, it was, but that doesn't give your dog the right to bowl my dc straight off her feet!

I keep my dog on a lead if children are around (except mine, because they know him & how he acts) because he is a playful jumpy dog & I don't want anyone to get knocked over/hurt or even dirty because of him.

Why do I as a parent, have to ask my dcs to be respectful of other people's dogs, yet owners don't have to show respect for my dcs? Children don't want to be knocked over by dogs, or licked by dogs, or made muddy by dogs.

We all have to coexist in this world, let's all show respect for others & if your dog is a playful jumpy dog, likely to bound up to stranger & potentially hurt them, keep it close/on lead.

differentnameforthis Sat 19-Jul-14 04:22:37

And if she didn't see what her dog did, she was too far away & should keep it under her control a bit more.

mousmous Sat 19-Jul-14 04:50:08

yanbu
that dog was not in control and should have been on the lead as should all dogs be in public places imo

Dunkling Sat 19-Jul-14 10:59:53

I have a dog and I would have apologised, in these circumstances she hadn't yet seen you, it happened, but it deserved an apology. I would also have spoken to your daughter and asked if she wanted to say hello to my goldie and how friendly she was, so as not to spark a dog fear.

But generally I would never allow this to happen. If I see a small child and Poppy is off lead, she is a teddy bear, well the parent doesn't know that, or the child, and I'm not going to foist her lovely over friendliness on others, so she is always put back on a lead while I let others pass. They can then greet her at their own choosing. Most do!

If she jumped up at a toddler I would be mortified!

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