It's the last day of term, AIBU to want to emigrate (without kids)

(148 Posts)
Doingakatereddy Fri 18-Jul-14 08:35:48

7 weeks, yes 7 whole weeks of 14 hour days with DS (4) and DD (16 months) and for some stupid reason I'm a SAHM

I want to cry and wail, run away and never see a park / soft play ever again

Tell me I will cope, I've seen the frenzied eyes of mums before in the summer hols but nothing prepares you for the fear.

Boaty Fri 18-Jul-14 09:17:02

brew cake wine is the answer!

You will survive!

from one with the grey hairs to prove it

grin

indigo18 Fri 18-Jul-14 09:52:09

If your eldest is only 4 he can't be at school yet! You have a long way to go. Personally I loathe soft play and such; try trips to the library, the park with a picnic, the pool (not sure if that is possible with 2 these days), and fun in the garden with your paddling pool and a washing line tent. Sound a bit Enid Blyton I know, but costs next to nothing. Invite other mums and DC round and they will reciprocate. Goodd luck!

FiveLittleSpeckledFrogsSatOnAS Fri 18-Jul-14 10:11:22

Indigo he could be in reception at turn 5 between now and September.

OP try to enjoy it when you start work again I bet you'll feel you don't have enough time with them, there's never a perfect balance!! Meet up with other mums, find a local petting farm/zoo, take a trip to a beach by train or car, and just try to keep busy really!!

Bardette Fri 18-Jul-14 10:18:27

I love the summer holidays! I really do. I can be nice mummy, not shouty trying to get to school/clubs on time mummy.
Are there any activities on near you? All the libraries, parks, farms and shopping centres here have special activities for summer.
I'm currently arranging to meet up with all the friends I never see during term time, we'll see my mum and the MIL a couple of times. We might go on a short train ride, find a new playground, hire a DVD, build some dens, 6 weeks is not enough!!

I don't get it.

In the nicest possible way, I'm sick of hearing people moan about the school holidays.

School isn't free childcare. It's education. They are your kids, surely you chose to have them and should enjoy their company confused

If you hate it that much book them into summer camp.

canyou Fri 18-Jul-14 10:21:37

7 Weeks grin grin grin grin grin
Mine have been on hols- 2 eldest since 27 of may, 2 youngeet since 25 of may and I have 7 weeks left. do you want my lifewink

canyou Fri 18-Jul-14 10:23:29

Actualky no I will keep my DC as I have a list of slave labour gardening jobs for them to start if the rain holds offgrin

Doingakatereddy Fri 18-Jul-14 10:57:34

Ah momkeyfacegrace, the golden glow of mumsnet sympathy is just washing over me.

DS is in school nursery / preschool so he can be in indigo18 school and no you cannot take 2 young children swimming with one adult. Does it ever dawn on naice middle class mumsnetters that some of us poor folk don't have gardens or washing lines and live in city centres?

I really don't think it's unreasonable to voice fear & a bit of dread about the prospect of entertaining kids for that long, I think it's human.

Why can't you take two little kids swimming with one adult confused

And you can have sympathy for being tired and skint, but you never mentioned any of that in your op. You just said you didn't like being a sahm (or words to that effect), and you won't cope.

flowers if you are seriously struggling, but they are your kids. Kids are ace. I'd rather be in an empty field with nothing but my kids than in an office or them being at school.

WaitMonkey Fri 18-Jul-14 11:26:19

I wish mine had 7 weeks off. They don't finish until next week and are only off for 5 weeks. sad I love having them home. smile

hugoagogo Fri 18-Jul-14 11:36:09

Well you have my sympathy, I always found the school holidays a very difficult time when mine were little.

As for swimming; my local swimming pool insists on 1 adult 1 child so I totally understand that.

Do you have any friends in a similar position? Maybe you could take their dc for the odd afternoon and then they could give you a break in return?

BravePotato Fri 18-Jul-14 11:45:15

Been there done that, lived to tell the tale!

You need a plan.

Every day needs a mini plan. Can be just one thing: "Go to the library in the morning", or "do a supermarket shop". Don't be overly ambitious. Just going to the bakery in town, by bus for example, can be an "activity"

You also need back up and support staff.

So get texting all the other mums of kids the same age, get play dates (restrict them to about 2 hrs though), invite people over.

Call any family members and plan a visit.

Ask the GPs/nice aunties to have the kids for an afternoon

Plan regular activities for yourself once DH is home, eg every Wednesday and Friday from 7-9 you are out swimming/running/whatever. This gets written in the diary and is non negotiable.

Let them watch plenty of TV. They'll soon grow out of TV anyway (kids do these days)

Eat what is convenient for you.

Don't just think vaguely: "oh yes, maybe that would work" and then forget, follow my plan to the letter !!! <<super bossy voice>>

ChickenFajitaAndNachos Fri 18-Jul-14 11:46:08

I think keep things simple and plan a small outing once a day to the local park or libary perhaps. Is online shopping an option for you as easier than taking 2 young DC? Do you have friends you can meet up with during the day? Or plan the odd girls night may help your sanity. Let the DC watch TV and DVD. Poundland arts and crafts are good too on a rainy day.
I used to find the first week the worst and then we settled into a routine. You can do it.

ChickenFajitaAndNachos Fri 18-Jul-14 11:48:01

Nearly snap * Brave*

misstiredbuthappy Fri 18-Jul-14 11:48:23

My dd has been of for a week and a half already and weve mainly had picnics at the park, been to kids AM cinema as its only 1.25 each and when its been raining watched dvds whilst giving her lots of sweets to sit down for five bloody minutes

My house is a dump though !

Im one of the poor folk too OP smile I am panicking and counting every penny to be honest.

BravePotato Fri 18-Jul-14 11:48:35

The reason is hard is because it can be very very boring, and much as you love them (I don't doubt that despite what some people say), spending 7 weeks with very young children is at times wonderful, and at times achingly dull.

It is only fun if you get the balance right, and that involves plenty of interaction with other adults.

ChickenFajitaAndNachos Fri 18-Jul-14 11:59:15

Does your toddler still have a nap? If so you can use that to break the day up. After nap/quiet TV time you could go on a mini outing. I found having ice-cream in the freezer handy in the holidays and picnic supplies.

Sheilathegreat Fri 18-Jul-14 12:14:34

I have one school age DC, one preschooler and another on the way. I LOVE summer hols. I do work 4 days though so appreciate that I'm coming from another perspective.

Have booked some time off and looking forward to some quality time with my DD. Nothing expensive or fancy planned but a few days in a row of just being in her world - something which is far too rare for me.

I do think it's about being positive. Kids don't need loads of money spent on them. Long walks, picnic, afternoon films, baking, reading and (bloody) loom bands keep mine happy. Also as others have said, get together with other parents if you can. Kids play with each other and adult convo to keep you sanesmile

Good luck.

mommy2ash Fri 18-Jul-14 12:19:01

I don't understand the hatred of school holidays. either you don't like your children very much or they are so badly behaved spending time with them is a nightmare.

surely the entire point of having children is to raise them yourself. we get 12 weeks off here and I love it. often during school term everything is a rush it's nice to be able to relax a bit.

IslandIsla Fri 18-Jul-14 12:33:02

My kids are 5 and 2 and I'm really looking forward to the school hols and breaking out of the routine.

But I used to dread them before my oldest was in school. Last year they were 4 and 16 months and it was the first year I enjoyed the holidays. The kids were starting to play together and we went on holiday for two of the weeks.

So maybe it will get easier!

LithaR Fri 18-Jul-14 13:12:17

I'm with you Bardette. I love being relaxed, chilled out mummy.

My ds starts full time in September so I plan to enjoy these six weeks of lie ins and lazing in front of the tv.

He'll soon get to an age where he wont enjoy sure start and walking the dog, so I want to relish the time I have.

Doingakatereddy Fri 18-Jul-14 14:39:31

Thanks for the advice, some great ideas

I'm sure LithaR you'll have a lovely summer been a chilled out mummy with all those lie in's. Just spare a thought (but please no sleep advice) to those if us whose kids are up at 5.30am every single solitary day without fail

BravePotato Fri 18-Jul-14 15:34:15

chickenfajitas, snap indeed!

thecakeisalieagain Fri 18-Jul-14 15:53:50

Another one here who doesn't get the summer holiday dread. I am a sahm and we have a 4yr old, 3yr old and 14 week old. Yes it's hectic but I love having my kids around. We aren't flush with money but we do a lot of free activities and crafts (poundland craft stuff, recycled items etc). Slow down and enjoy your kids company around the chaotic moments, they will grow up quick!

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