Can't believe the cheek of this FB lady

[pumpkinsweetie]

Just seen one of my fb friends tagged in a status. I cannot believe my eyes
The status goes like this "Dear all my family, it's my birthday soon and I have my eye on a handbag worth £140, would appreciate if any of you could put in an equal amount to make this possible please"

In it only 6 people have been tagged.

I just find it so grabby, and me, me, me.

Aibu to think it's ludicrous when people 'expect' things from people rather than wait to see what they'll recieve ?

[Flexibilityiskey]

I think YABU. If her family get her presents every year, it seems sensible to let them know something she actually wants ahead of time. They don't have to buy it for her.

[PeppermintInfusion]

Having a present in mind is one thing, it's less than £25 each which is reasonable for close family members (if they can afford it obvs) but putting it on FB is just weird!

[FatalCabbage]

Private email acceptable if that's how they do things for birthdays.

FB status - yikes.

[ScouseBird8364]

Oooh, no, that is just pure cheeky imo

[pumpkinsweetie]

It's putting it on Fb that I find shockingly cheeky, because others such as friends might feel under pressure to also chip in

[Flumpf]

Is it a special birthday?

I don't really get bags. I don't understand why a bag costs £140, it's just a bag. But that's just me. But if I did want one, I would save up and buy one myself.

[DeleteTheAdjectives]

Yabu. It's not really anything to do with you, unless you're one of the 6. Sounds like something that's already been discussed. Seems a bit harsh to judge a friend because of something that doesn't really affect you.

And whether it's a £140 handbag or a 5p carrier bag is between her and the people buying it!

[iklboo]

Has she got 280 friends ?

[pumpkinsweetie]

delete I suppose it resonates with me because it reminds me very much of my toxic mil of whom used to do similar. We were all obliged to pay into her kitty for something she wanted every birthday for her & fil. One year we were harrassed by call, text and fb to remember the £80 each for fils garden digger thingy.
Money we simply couldn't afford. Needless to say we are non contact now for that and deeper reasons.

[Flexibilityiskey]

On second thoughts, putting it on FB is a bit odd. We often do club together to buy each other presents in our family, but I can't see why anyone would put it on FB.

[tobysmum77]

I don't think it's grabby at all. If that was my sister I'd think great, nice and easy.

[NickiFury]

My family and friends wouldn't have a problem with this.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

How tacky of her.

I do think people should have lessons in using social media appropriately.

That status should have been a text.

[DeleteTheAdjectives]

Pumpkin in the case of your mil that was massively unreasonable of her. No-one should be obliged to have to pay into it if they don't want and clearly you didn't want to. That was extremely rude and grabby.
And if this is the same the yes she is being rude, but I don't think this sounds like the same scenario. Just ignore it - it's not a post that's meant for you so don't let it upset you (by making you think of someone you don't like ifkwim)
Maybe she put it on Facebook so it was a group thing- they could all see the post and see who else was tagged and could see each other's comments. A text would mean they could only individually have a conversation with her rather than all of them talk together. I personally don't know any of my friends email addresses and the new fb messenger doesn't always work so can see why a wall post might be the only way to do this.

[Birdsgottafly]

YABU, in our family we spend a minimum of £20 on each other (but usually more).

We tell each other what we would like, the same applies at Christmas.

My family members wanting presents on their Birthday, is not grabby, it's what we do.

The easiest way of us all communicating at times is on FB.

[Birdsgottafly]

""That status should have been a text""

My 86 year old Mum has FB, she uses a computer.

She can't use phones any more, after having three strokes.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

It could also be a private message...on Facebook.

Glad you mum is doing ok after the strokes Birds, I know how devastating and life limiting they can be.

[Birdsgottafly]

She been really lucky, it's frustrating because she would be well, if she didn't still smoke heavily.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

My grandfather carried on smoking as well, after his. Stubborn as a mule on that point!

[AppleAndMelon]

That's awful - really grabby.

[Pumpkinpositive]

Tagging people is massively unreasonable.

But I never understand why it's considered better breeding to allow people to spend their hard earned cash on stuff you hate, wouldn't be seen dead in, and will donate to a charity shop at the first opportunity.

[VioletHare]

I don't think it's ur to suggest what you want to family if they always buy something anyway. Last week I told my mum (without her asking) what I'd like for my birthday next month. If I don't she'll only start asking me soon anyway, so when something popped into my mind I told her in advance.

I do think it's a little crass to do it over Facebook though.

[sonjadog]

I think YABU. You don't know the back story to this. Maybe she has talked it over with her family and they agreed she'd put up the link to the bag on fb for them. Maybe she doesn't have all their email addresses but they are all on fb and it is the easiest way to contact them? Maybe this is how they do present-giving in her family?

I think you are being quick to judge here.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Ya nbu at all, it does not matter if it's family, it's crass and grabby. If you want it so much, save up!