To consider not allowing dd to attend her leaving party?

(31 Posts)
goats Fri 11-Jul-14 20:22:08

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Sorry, confused. Is the leaving party separate to the disco?

Is she at the disco just now?

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 20:33:13

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MrsWinnibago Fri 11-Jul-14 20:34:25

I think you're overreacting. It sounds like you're struggling for cash and looking for a reason not to send her.

Sorry to be blunt. Is there some way you could borrow some or something?

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 20:37:35

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piratecat Fri 11-Jul-14 20:40:05

it would be no to the disco, then party for sure. party more important as it's leavers.

SiennaBlake Fri 11-Jul-14 20:40:17

She only gets one leavers party. I wouldn't use that for punishments.

Thenapoleonofcrime Fri 11-Jul-14 20:42:47

She's just flexing her new found independence at the top of the school- soon she will be at the bottom of the new one and probably less cocky!

I don't think anything you describe is so terrible she should be prevented from going to the leaver's party. I can see it's a pain for you but I think it's worth it for that, and she will remember if you don't let her go. Could someone else take her and you collect?

MrsWinnibago Fri 11-Jul-14 20:50:54

They're all a bit rude at this age OP. Save the big punishments for the big naughties. She's just been a bit cheeky.

drudgetrudy Fri 11-Jul-14 20:52:46

Draconian punishments at memorable times ten to build resentment rather than teach better behaviour.
I wouldn't stop her from going to the leaver's party-choose something smaller immediately after she has been rude to you.
I would try to talk to her more openly about the demands for things eg "I want you to have a good time but can't afford xx this week".
I would also take her more seriously than she intends eg" Ok if you don't think its worth it don't go".

Berryglitter Fri 11-Jul-14 21:00:06

Can't see a major reason why she can't go to it. She's being 11, testing the boundaries.

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 21:01:07

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MrsWinnibago Fri 11-Jul-14 21:03:16

Is she quite bright? My 9 year old DD is a bit spectrumy...I don't want that to sound rude but she is...like me. She "passes" for NT and so do I but only by the skin of our teeth and I know my DD is so bright she can certainly play on her quirkiness to get what she wants.

I do too sometimes blush

Thenapoleonofcrime Fri 11-Jul-14 21:05:35

It may be when she gets a bit hyper/adrenaline starts kicking in (rebelling against mum), that's her default behaviour. One of mine uses a baby voice and gets like a bouncy puppy and it can be quite embarrassing when we are out (she's no sen). I wouldn't say she can completely control it in that I'm sure if I got very cross or removed her, she would stop, but her eyes do shine and she gets a bit out of control quite easily- does that make sense?

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 21:06:17

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goats Fri 11-Jul-14 21:08:35

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gordyslovesheep Fri 11-Jul-14 21:11:16

she's probably acting up because it's bloody hard leaving school, leaving mates, change etc

My SEN DD1 is 11 and it really struggling with these last weeks - lots of moody behaviour and verbal insults - she's scared, worried and not wanting it to end - denying her the last party with all her classmates would be mean sad

I remember a great saying 'your children need your love when they deserve it the least' cuddle her and let her go

DoJo Fri 11-Jul-14 21:11:56

Could you maybe use the promise of the party as a carrot rather than a stick? So tell her that you want her to do x and y between now and then to earn the chance to go to the party. If you think she can control her behaviour more than she's been letting on, it will be a good way of working that out as well as you'll be able to see if she stops when reminded that you expect her to behave well if she wants to go to the party.

Thenapoleonofcrime Fri 11-Jul-14 21:15:15

I just think the end of term at the end of your final year at primary isn't the time to start laying down the law about behaviour. Lots of the children are tired and behaving badly, not just the Yr6's, all the parents are saying the same. I would take her to the party pretty much whatever happens, then perhaps have a chat with her and set out how its going to be for the summer holidays/what you expect.

Adikia Fri 11-Jul-14 21:25:31

my brother missed his leaving party because he had a row with Dad, 25 years on it is still a sore point between them, honestly its not a punishment I'd use.

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 21:27:24

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I think many, many people involved with yr6's at the moment would say that they are being a bit strange right now. My yr 6's got their SATs results yesterday and their reports, next week they go to secondary school for a few days. Most of them thought that they could come to primary school first and we'd take them over- it came as a real shock when they found out we won't be there at all.
This afternoon they were exhausted- it poured down so we cancelled PE and chilled out with a cartoon DVD. I expected complaints, but they just flopped.
I really feel for them, but at times this week I have wanted to yell at them for doing stupid things.

MrsWinnibago Fri 11-Jul-14 21:51:48

Goats I hope she has a good eat! grin my DD also adores food....agree that it's the upheaval. Secondary is often the making of these quirky kids....not always but often. They meet other kids like them...and there are more specific groups after school etc.

LadySybilLikesCake Fri 11-Jul-14 21:54:36

Can you give her the money, but she has to earn it first? It will show her that it doesn't grow on trees and has to be earned. Make her do some chores, so wash up etc.

goats Fri 11-Jul-14 21:57:20

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