To not be surprised that divorce rates are so high when I see how some friends treat their husbands??

(163 Posts)
PisforPeter Fri 11-Jul-14 16:09:58

Just having huge arguments over petty issues, being anal about the childrens routines, making DH sleep in spare room for duration of oregnancy & first 8 months of baby's life too.
Do folk need to chill out a bit or am I being too harsh??
I just find a team approach works better for me??

OrangeVanofPositivity Fri 11-Jul-14 16:12:57

Good for you. Seeing as you're so laid back and team-worky I suppose you can say nothing will ever go wrong in your relationship, congratulations.

Oleoleole Fri 11-Jul-14 16:13:20

Each to their own.

Oleoleole Fri 11-Jul-14 16:15:24

Also a large minority of people these days don't marry for life (going by several people I know who have skipped down the aisle knowing it was their starter marriage).

Yeah, women's behaviour is 100% to blame for divorce rates. Of course. hmm

PisforPeter Fri 11-Jul-14 16:17:17

No relationship is ever perfect [Orange] & I never said mine was.
But if DD goes to bed 30 mins later because we have all been out for the evening I see that as a nice family evening rather than a bedtime disaster iyswim

Thurlow Fri 11-Jul-14 16:18:42

Yes, I'm sure the women are doing those things above for an entirely selfish reason, not because they haven't slept in ages etc

PisforPeter Fri 11-Jul-14 16:19:18

Yes, I have some friends who have done 'starter' marriages too but I think it's sad when it involves children.
Men are to blame for most things [Scotland] wink

cailindana Fri 11-Jul-14 16:19:49

Yes, men are perfect and if only women could be more perfect then everyone would stay married forever. Definitely.

Thumbwitch Fri 11-Jul-14 16:20:16

Hmmmmm - do I report this now for goadyfuckery or let it play out? Choices, choices...
hmm

stooshe Fri 11-Jul-14 16:20:43

Can't be arsed to "research". Is the OP a man or a woman of the Mary Archer "fragrant" variety?

thesaurusgirl Fri 11-Jul-14 16:21:52

YANBU.

If you wouldn't speak like that to your best friend, you shouldn't speak like that to your partner.

nethunsreject Fri 11-Jul-14 16:21:52

The poor menz : (

Thumbwitch Fri 11-Jul-14 16:21:59

I'm guessing that P might stand for something other than Peter...

TarkaTheOtter Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:08

I'm glad that I married a man who can deal with the fact that things might be tough going for a bit after a life changing event like having a new baby.

longtallsally2 Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:31

I just find a team approach works better for me??

Oh the irony!!! In my house, we find that a team approach works better for both of us, but yes, we do know couples for whom things are rather more one sided.

cheminotte Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:32

I would agree a team / partnership approach works best. But there are plenty of men talked about on here who carry on with their hobbies, nights out, etc when dc arrive and leave the woman to do everything.

IrianofWay Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:54

Did you know that quite a lot of divorces are sought by women? Wonder what the men must have done.....

ChelsyHandy Fri 11-Jul-14 16:23:29

I think if the men whose marriages weren't in trouble were handsome, slim, genuinely nice people who behaved well at all times even in times of stress and had well paid jobs which allowed them a work/life balance, then marriages would be much better.

I'm sure I'm right. Likewise, these paragons always must be paired with beautiful, kind, gentle women who manage to keep a toehold in their professional career while giving birth, never losing their tempers.

The real problem is that just enough people aren't perfect!!!

Are you from Stepford, OP?

pinkfluffypoodle Fri 11-Jul-14 16:24:00

Some new mothers cling to a routine as you tend to do when its your first & not sure if you're doing it properly. At these times your baby not going to bed on time can be a huge thing yes. And you standing judging on the sidelines will not help. Petty & non petty has different boundaries to different people.

I'm glad your approach works for you but some mums & dads take longer to find their way than others.

And yes of course, divorce rates are all about how women treat their husbands. You don't sound like a massive cock at all when you say that!

IrianofWay Fri 11-Jul-14 16:24:06

"huge arguments over petty issues" Don't arguments involve more than one person?

WaffleWiffle Fri 11-Jul-14 16:24:35

I fear for many of my friends marriages, mainly because they bitch so much about their husbands. Like they have nothing nice to say about him.

Personally, my husband is lovely and I would never dream about saying anything bad about him to others, even my best friend.

So given the frequency that others I know whinge about these, I cannot see their marriages lasting if I am honest.

Trazzletoes Fri 11-Jul-14 16:25:00

What on earth is a starter marriage?!

LittlePeaPod Fri 11-Jul-14 16:25:22

Pulls a chair up with my glass of wine and salty popcorn to watch whilst feeling like I have been transported back to the 1950s

PisforPeter Fri 11-Jul-14 16:25:42

I agree thesaurusgirl

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