AIBU to check out social media profiles of potential nannies?

[namechangedjustforthisonce]

We are moving house soon and looking to recruit a new nanny for our little son. We are using an agency for this - so all good and well.

Whenever I receive a CV I like, I quickly google the candidate's name just to see if something comes up. I have a senior position at my work and we do the same when we are recruiting and if the candidate looks odd in any way then we tell the recruiter/agency that and say why.

Now, I had a look at a nice CV for a potential nanny and googled her and found that she seems a lovely girl but has posted photos of her current employer's kids online and photos of their house, garden and car with license plate. She may have consent from them, so ok.

However, she has also posted things like "my boyfriend dumped me, I am depressed" on her profile and it just reads like she is not in a happy place and has not been for a while. I get that you are sad when you have abreakup but if sad messages continue for a long period, then that is a reason for concern. I just feel nervous about her emotional well being. I said to my DH that I would like to get back to agency, refer to the candidate's twitter account. DH says, not to do that. DH thinks I am creepy snooping round the internet like that and he also thinks it could affect the girl's career.

However, our nanny requirements are a bit difficult (moving further afield, etc) and I don't want to be a picky client for the agency but want to give honest feedback. The nanny candidate really sounds very unhappy in her life.

AIBU... ??? I get that alerting the agency to the twitter account could affect the girl's career but the twitter account is out there under her real name and includes her year of birth, profession and location and tons of photos. So, I would hope the agency would have seen it too (first result on google).

AIBU for "snooping"?
AIBU for telling the agency that based on this, I'd rather say no to the candidate?

[HenI5]

I don't think it's creepy to check out potential names as you are doing. If people publish information in the public arena then it's there to be found. However, I don't think I'd feedback to the Agency, certainly not unless asked direct questions about why you didn't feel she'd suit you. In that case I might vaguely say you didn't warm to her public profile on social media and let them look into it if they care to.

I think it's reasonable to use whatever legal methods are available to look at people who could potentially be spending a lot of time in sole charge of your children and use that information to supplement viewing their CV and how they present at interview.

[ViviPru]

Yeah same as Hen. YANBU, it's not snooping, it's gaining a picture via legal, openly accessible means of someone in whom you will be investing money and trust. But like Hen, I don't see the point in feeding back unless prompted and her suggestion is spot on for how you could word the feedback if pushed.

[namechangedjustforthisonce]

@HenI5 - I would not say, that I think she suffers of depression, etc.; I'd do it the way you suggest, exactly like I would do at work.... thanks for your feedback!

[Topaz25]

She should have made her profile private (because of people like you) but YWBVU to use her personal life and feelings against her and bring it up with the agency to affect her career. She has been through a hard time, why make it worse? You said she has a nice CV, seems lovely and is working with a family currently so she's probably able to put her personal feelings aside and be professional. Why not meet with her and see before making judgements? We all vent to our friends from time to time, she probably just didn't realise her profile wasn't friends only. I have to agree with your DH that complaining to the agency about it would be too far.

[Topaz25]

I would feel differently if she had posted something heinous, like racist comments etc but I don't think she deserves this for being down after a breakup.

[ApocalypseThen]

She's better off if you don't employ her. Do her a favour and let her go elsewhere. Do it today.

[MrsGeorgeMichael]

when i snooped researched, i found out our potential nanny had a drug habit!
so glad she didn't keep her profile private

[namechangedjustforthisonce]

Hi Topaz25, I would no complain at all just say that she is not a suitable candidate and word it like HenI5 suggests. She is clearly depressed and has been for a long time, not just temporarily unhappy. I think it is crucial to the job and I also think (in all honesty) she should maybe be alerted to this since it DOES affect her career; I am now not inviting her due to her profile: full name, job, location, year of birth and photo. But I hear what you are saying and will give it thought.

[veryseriousgirl]

YANBU - you are looking at publically available information and it's an important way of gauging how you think the nanny will fit in with your family. Personality and personal values are so important for someone with whom you will work so closely and who will have such an influence on your children!

I probably would mention social media profiles to the agency. I would certainly be reluctant to hire someone who had current charges (and identifiable details) splashed all over the internet - as you said, she likely had permission, but I would hope to hire someone who presented themselves as a little more discreet...

[HenI5]

No problem.

I use social media a lot and am always shocked at how much some people give away. Some people seem particularly unaware of how much they 'overshare' and are given to being very dramatic, so a long succession of sad messages doesn't necessarily mean there's anything particularly wrong that would affect their work, but it's your call if you're thinking of employing them.

I wouldn't be happy at all the photos and personal information - that's certainly something the Agency could advise her about, but like I say, I'd leave that ball in their court. I think you should tell DH that if anyone's risking her career it's the girl herself for her naivety in putting things out there, not you for finding it. I wouldn't like him calling it 'snooping' That implies searching for things that the subject is keeping private, or that you've gone to great lengths to find things out, not just a quick Google of her name.

It really isn't any different from work mode is it. You need to feel confident in your selection and after all once you make a choice, you'll be expected to be a good employer but with a more personal relationship because of the nature of the work.

[namechangedjustforthisonce]

@Topaz25 it is not just the breakup, that would not bother me at all. There are lots of other issues which indicate some unhealthy habits but I won't post these here since I actually fear that could allow others to identify her. Thanks for all the honest feedback.

[CoffeeTea103]

Yanbu it's public information and if you've gathered that she has some sort of depression then off course you would not find her suitable to fill a nanny role.

[glasgowstevenagain]

If you have it online and have not got privacy settings then if anyone looks its not snooping.

I would tell a white lie - she is known to us throught a friend and is not suitable for us

[shai2]

If it was for a 'normal' job then her talking about her break up etc is really nobodies business however if this person would be looking after your children then yanbu.

[HenI5]

Just a note that IMO Twitter isn't like Facebook where you have to set various privacy controls, it's perfectly obvious when you set up an account that it's viewable by absolutely anyone - and if it's not obvious to the account holder then I'd question whether they should to be left in charge of children.

Also IMO it's not like employing someone to work a till or do your office admin, with obligations not to discriminate on any level, it's about finding someone you're going to be comfortable with and who you feel you can trust.
Other people may not have the same concerns so she's better off finding work with them, not being given a chance by someone who has misgivings even before meeting her.

[glasgowstevenagain]

I doubt you telling us what else she does that makes her not suitable would identify her.

so drip feed away :)

[maddening]

It's called due diligence and is best done using keywords - eg nanny name arrest etc

if you're going to be diligent about anything then hiring a nanny is something to be diligent about.

[namechangedjustforthisonce]

I feel a bit bad now but kind of reassured too. It is about my son though and I am paying the nanny about 38-40K per year... she needs to be professional ...

[glasgowstevenagain]

you are paying a nanny approx £800 a week!

really?

[shai2]

I am looking for a nanny job and I would be over the moon with £700 a week let alone £800. Plus I am not on any social media sites.

[mumeeee]

YABU. I would be very annoyed if a future employer googled my name to try and look up things about me. My personal life is my business. The Nanny should have set her profile to private.

[Misspilly88]

YANBU OP, any other company would do the same and she should have private settings if she doesn't want her personal life to be public. I would fully expect a potential employer to google me if I applied for a job... not least if it was paid that highly

where abouts are you, can I apply for the job?

[grobagsforever]

40k!! Crap my new nanny is coming round tonight...She's only getting 22k.....40K!!! For that amount I'd want snow bloody white!

But seriously YANBU. bugger the ethics, these are your kids.

[RedToothBrush]

mumeeee Thu 10-Jul-14 16:22:10
YABU. I would be very annoyed if a future employer googled my name to try and look up things about me. My personal life is my business. The Nanny should have set her profile to private.

I would look into anyone I was going to employ as a nanny. The fact that the potential candidate failed to use her privacy settings would in itself be a big no no for me, as it would show they have little understanding of internet security.

If, in the unlikely event, she ever decided to bitch on FB about her employers, I wouldn't particularly like it to be visible to the entire world for starters!!!

And if I was going to have someone look after my children, then their personal life would be important to me and I would consider to be my business to a point. I wouldn't want to employ someone who was constantly on the piss for example, in case they turned up at work, still drunk. Nor would I like to employ someone who posted a lot of dubious stuff about immigration or race in case my child was going to pick up on it.

That said I wouldn't dismiss someone purely on the basis that they were depressed. People can be very capable even though they are depressed.

Its the fact that she's unaware of privacy that would trouble me given the profession she is in. Its not appropriate.