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AIBU?

In thinking this is absolutely not the child or parents fault

137 replies

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/07/2014 22:11

I've spoken to my brother today his nearly 3yo daughter is cared for whilst he works by a outstanding registered child minder with quite a few years experience.

He's distraught because today the child minder phoned him requesting he collect the child earlier than usual as she had been being very very naughty, at this point no other information was provided.

It turns out the childminder had been on a day out and the not quite 3 year old was able to escape a apparently fully enclosed area and be missing long enough to escape the venue and be seen by a member of the public in a very very dangerous situation in a adjoining location (think potential to be killed). The total stranger grabbed the child (who was wearing a hi vis vest matching the childminders) and located the childminder and had a good old rant at her threatening to report her to children's services and apparently it shook the child minder up.

The childminder ranted at him about how dreadfully behaved the child is to the point that he was apologising and at no time took any responsibility for her role in the incident. She said she hadn't noticed his daughter was missing.

During the course of the conversation the childminder stated it had shaken her up because a related child had several years ago died in her care it sounded like a preventable incident caused by inappropriate supervision and she didn't want to have his daughter again because she's a disruptive horror and the child's fault the stranger yelled at her.

We are talking about a very little 2 years and 10 month old child. Surely the minder should take responsibility for what happened?

I've suggested he does not use her again and does report but he's now doubting whose responsible.

My brother does know I've posted this

OP posts:

Report

clairemum22 · 07/07/2014 22:13

I would never use her again and report. Yes, she should take responsibility.

exexpat · 07/07/2014 22:13

Absolutely not the child's fault. The childminder should be reported to Ofsted. If a child has died in her care before, in a preventable incident, I am amazed that she is still registered.

BOFster · 07/07/2014 22:14

Really? If any of that is true, I wouldn't be entrusting my child to her care.

RobinHumphries · 07/07/2014 22:14

Report her.

macdoodle · 07/07/2014 22:14

Totally her fault and yes he should report her, she could have been a 2nd death?? Most CM's I should think never have one! And should most definitely not send her back.

PedlarsSpanner · 07/07/2014 22:14

I would pull her out immediately

Ofsted will likely be interested 0300 123 1231

Lweji · 07/07/2014 22:15

If I understand it correctly, I'd report her to OFSTED (or whoever is responsible for childminders).
And warn the other parents too.

Panzee · 07/07/2014 22:15

I wouldn't use her again.its clearly her fault.

MaryBennett · 07/07/2014 22:16

Bloody hell. Get the kid away from that woman.

PopGoesTheWeeble · 07/07/2014 22:17

My 2 year 10 month old child would have no concept of that sort of danger, nor would I expect him to at this age. I expect the people looking after him to recognise that and keep him completely safe.

There is no way my child would be going back to that childminder, and I agree that I would be reporting her ASAP.

Bearbehind · 07/07/2014 22:18

How do you or even your brother know all the details or the incident.....?

PolkaSpottyDotty · 07/07/2014 22:19

She didn't notice she was gone? That alone would make me withdraw my child from her care.

cheepsskram · 07/07/2014 22:19

Childminder totally at fault. Report and withdraw child immediately.

motherofmonster · 07/07/2014 22:19

i would never use her again, and would also report her.
If she is incapable of looking after a toddler outside of her home environment then she should not be taking them out.

Most people with any experience of kids know that toddlers have a uncanny ability to vanish like hudini in a split second.

wheresthelight · 07/07/2014 22:19

Wow how the hell is she registered as outstanding if a chikd died in her care???

I would be removing the child and reporting her to Ofsted and the council and the police as it's a massive issue of neglect and failing hin her duty of care. I would also consider letting social services and other parents know

She was massively at fault and there is no way this wasthe cchild's fault

TheReluctantCountess · 07/07/2014 22:19

That is completely the childminder's fault. I would not be sending my child back there.

OorWullie · 07/07/2014 22:19

I would report her immediately and certainly would not be using her again.

A child of that age wouldn't realise that wandering off was naughty, and should absolutely not have been allowed to get that far away unnoticed.

The childminder at the very least should have taken responsibiltiy and been deeply apologetic.

DS escaped from nursery at 3 by crawling under a fence amd the teacher noticed immediately, brought him back in but still informed me at pick up and was worried I was going to be cross with her!

Young children do have a way of wriggling away but if the CM was watching properly it would never have gone as far as it did.

Marcipex · 07/07/2014 22:20

Where to start....

Why would anyone use this minder again?
If the account is accurate, she is unreliable, unsafe, unreasonable, irresponsible, unrealistic.

Of course she was responsible, is she saying the 2 year old was responsible?

Of course report her, of course never use her again.

VictorianGrandchild · 07/07/2014 22:20

a related child had several years ago died in her care it sounded like a preventable incident caused by inappropriate supervision

Im sure an inquest would have found one way or an other on that matter - and I dare say local gossips would have had a field day.

It all sounds awfully gossipy.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 07/07/2014 22:20

Christ almighty. So his kid could have died, the CM would have been none the wiser because she didn't notice her missing, and he is apologising? Sorry, I would report her.

Kudos to the member of the public who did pick up the child and shouted at the CM, I would have done the same. She must have been in shock.

BlackeyedSusan · 07/07/2014 22:20

A child that age has not developed a concept of danger, nor of impulse control. they need to be strictly supervised AT ALL TIMES.

MrsMook · 07/07/2014 22:20

Report it to Ofsted, it will trigger an inspection.

My DCs nursery has been inspected following an incident that was minor compared to this.

didiimaginethis · 07/07/2014 22:21

Do not use her again, this is awful. Can you report her to OFSTED?

Molio · 07/07/2014 22:21

Blimey. What's the flag above red? Never ever let a kid go near that childminder again.

Pumpkinpositive · 07/07/2014 22:22

Im sure an inquest would have found one way or an other on that matter - and I dare say local gossips would have had a field day

But this is information straight from the horse's childminder's mouth, isn't it?

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