to think that identical twin children should not be dressed the same?

(260 Posts)
nutdust Thu 26-Jun-14 19:16:50

so, declaring my interest, i have identical twins and absolutely never dress them the same, for lots of reasons but mainly to help others identify who is who & to foster their individuality.
i'm not, & have never been in two minds about this decision, so the reason i'm posting is because i'm really curious to find out what others think when they see identical twins dressed exactly the same, because it makes me immediately want to tap the parents on the shoulder & ask them why on earth they are doing this, i.e. further emphasising their sameness & making them look like a cutesy side-show. there are long-term studies that evidence the unhelpful impact this has on the twin children. that trouble is, the twin parent community is a very polite one & there is never an opportunity to just ask; 'so why the hell do you dress your kids to look exactly the same?!'
so, what do you think? does it not even register or do you feel agrieved on behalf of the twins?

Spottybra Thu 26-Jun-14 19:19:41

Shall I ask my dmother? She dressed us the same. I know 3 sets of young twins, 2x g/g and 1x g/b. both sets of girls are always dressed identically. The girl/boy twins not so much.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Thu 26-Jun-14 19:21:40

if I had two kids of the same sex I wpupdnt dress them the same, and that applies if they are twins too.

Dont give a furry rats ass if others choose to though.

Horses for courses.

Finney2 Thu 26-Jun-14 19:21:58

I think it's cute. I occasionally dress my two boys (not twins) the same.

I think, in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. There are man worse things you can do to your children.

seasidesally Thu 26-Jun-14 19:22:05

non identical here,boys

never ever dressed them the same,dont really get it to be honest

no chance now their 15yrs old grin

Tangerinefairy Thu 26-Jun-14 19:22:08

Well I don't have twins but I've taught several sets. From a teacher's point of view it is incredibly hard when parents dress them identically. I can think of 2 sets in particular where the parents refused to even give them different coloured hair clips or similar to help me out. It was awful for the kids to be constantly referred to by the wrong name and I felt really guilty about it.

Finney2 Thu 26-Jun-14 19:22:27

*many

Vevvie Thu 26-Jun-14 19:22:29

Young siblings are dressed the same at times.

Kikaninchen Thu 26-Jun-14 19:24:03

I would assume with little babies that it doesn't really matter, and looks quite cute.

I would think with children older than 2 or 3, that it must be partly their decision. I base that on my children, who always choose their own clothes and often try to dress the same (mine aren't twins), and have very fixed ideas on what they want to wear. I'd struggle to make them wear anything they really didn't want to.

There are identical twin teens, maybe about 14,15 years old who I sometimes see around, they are always dressed exactly the same but in different colours, same hairstyle. I assume they must have chosen to do that.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer Thu 26-Jun-14 19:24:11

Its probably easier isn't it? No fighting over who wears what, which is fairly annoying for someone with girls with less than 18 mths between them, and of similar size, who shared a lot of clothes. Would imagine this might be worse with twins.

VegetarianHaggis Thu 26-Jun-14 19:24:38

I guess it's supposed to look cute. Not a big fan of it though.
But maybe when they get to toddler stage it's to stop arguments - "I want to wear green too!"
I've got friends who are adult twins. They often turn up places dressed in very similar outfits - they have similar tastes. Don't know if they were dressed the same when they were children though.

OhTheDrama Thu 26-Jun-14 19:26:38

It makes me sad when see this to be honest. It shows a total lack of thought on the parents behalf. I also hate it when you see same sex siblings close in age dressed the same too. I think it's far more positive to let them develop their own personalities and that must be hard when you look identical to someone else. As an aside I love seeing pictures of SJP's twins, so completely different, it's really refreshing.

hotfuzzra Thu 26-Jun-14 19:26:43

I don't get it either OP
I feel it's making a show of them. They might well look cute but they're not dolls to be dressed up, they're individuals. Once they can talk and choose clothes I'd say it's up to them, but if I had twins I wouldn't dress them identically.

Liney15 Thu 26-Jun-14 19:26:57

As an identical twin I agree with you OP. We were never dressed the same as our mum hated the idea. (Though we do have very similar taste in clothes even so.)

Retropear Thu 26-Jun-14 19:30:02

Both my sister and I have twins and this is our pet hate.I think it's horrible and clearly for the mum's benefit.

Twins aren't a unit they are individuals and need to be treated as such from birth.

OddFodd Thu 26-Jun-14 19:30:47

My friend doesn't dress her DDs the same but I still can't tell which is which

Sorry that's not very helpful!

BeatriceBean Thu 26-Jun-14 19:31:55

I know of a twins where the boys have similar t shirts but one has red and the other green! When they buy clothing/things one is always red the otehr green, so they have a few similar looking outfits (hats) etc but different!

Happydaysatlast Thu 26-Jun-14 19:35:54

I would try to dress them differently but saying that my oldest 2 boys were 16months apart and I often dressed them the same. Not sure why.

My girls are also 16 months apart and from
A young age choose very individual styles.

Don't some adult identical twins dress alike?

Vintagecakeisstillnice Thu 26-Jun-14 19:37:38

I have cousins who are identical twins, and have a sister who is 11 months younger.

I remember the screaming tantrums by all 3 to dress the same.

They're all happy healthy individuals now.
Don't see an issue if it their choice.

HesterShaw Thu 26-Jun-14 19:37:52

If they wanted to dress the same, I'd let them.

My sister and I often wanted to wear the same. We're not twins however.

HesterShaw Thu 26-Jun-14 19:40:39

Well I don't have twins but I've taught several sets. From a teacher's point of view it is incredibly hard when parents dress them identically. I can think of 2 sets in particular where the parents refused to even give them different coloured hair clips or similar to help me out. It was awful for the kids to be constantly referred to by the wrong name and I felt really guilty about it.

I've taught two sets of incredibly identical boy twins, in a school with a uniform. One of the mothers used to dress one son in a white polo shirt and one in a red, which helped. The other one's grandma (no mum) didn't help at all! The only way I could tell them apart was that one had a tiny freckle on his chin and the other didn't. I had to peer at them very closely - must have been quite disconcerting.

Anyway, and interesting anecdote. Not.

Xcountry Thu 26-Jun-14 19:41:46

each to their own, some kids like it some don't. It doesn't just happen with twins, it happens with siblings - hell whole families. Live and let live

lljkk Thu 26-Jun-14 19:42:41

What harm is it supposed to do to dress them identically?

I am closely related to 2 sets of ID twins. Lots of photos of them ID dressed and they look fab to me. I like it. One photo I took where they are almost identically dressed at age of 50 that is a huge favourite with wider family.

I know 2 families who had single boy followed by ID boys & the parents liked to dress all three boys identically. (I am so impressed, I could never be that organised). I am thinking of a family with 3 girls (no twins) born in space of 2 yrs and they were often dressed identically, too.

RosiePosiePing Thu 26-Jun-14 19:42:51

* I also hate it when you see same sex siblings close in age dressed the same too. I think it's far more positive to let them develop their own personalities and that must be hard when you look identical to someone else*

My two are 16 months apart. Very often they want to buy/wear the same clothes. Should I take that choice away from them then?hmm. If THEY want to where's the problem?

My twins are so cute I don't need to dress them the same <ignores the fact they are b/g and DTS is built like a brick shit house!>

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