Is my nanny taking the michael? Or am I being judgey?

(140 Posts)

We've already had a few talks about time off. She's got 20 days' holiday a year. We're at 27 days off already including holiday still to be taken and 5 days sick/appointments. Some of that time is holiday we're taking, so she has to be off, but she's known those dates for ages and could have sorted her own holiday accordingly (she's young, free and single).

Last week she texted late at night to ask if she could have a.n.other day as she'd got flights wrong, and I said, OK, but we're going to have to start docking pay now as it's getting silly as I have to pay for extra cover/not work. Miraculously the flight sorted itself out.

Last Monday she had an urgent hospital appointment for a problem with her jaw. Fine. But she booked it in the middle of the day which meant there was no point coming in at all. Again, I couldn't work. She then texted to say it was because she was grinding her teeth thanks to stress, and she needed to calm down.

Am I being a beeyatch to think being a nanny isn't the most stressful occupation in the world????

And then at the weekend she texts to say she fainted, was taken to the walk in centre, who told her she was anemic, needs to be on iron pills, and was to take the whole week off.

I'm retraining in a medical field and this was my first week of seeing patients and I was so excited! Am scrabbling round trying to sort things out with a childcare jigsaw puzzle and trying sooooo hard not to text something counter productive and rude back/panic/rage...

WWYD wise MNers?

The DTDs (age 2) love her. She's v good at playing with them. There's some stuff I'm not happy with as she has funny priorities, but not sure that's relevant here?

musicalendorphins2 Wed 25-Jun-14 01:04:00

She has really let you down now. I would let her go, and make other arrangements. Someone who has a proven by references, good work ethic.
I hope your father in law will make a full and speedy recovery.

Frogisatwat Wed 25-Jun-14 06:51:17

I have reported too in case it helps.

You really should let her go. You'll be doing her a favour. If she's genuinely ill then she'll see that nannying may not be for her if she's going to be letting families down for long periods of time unexpectedly. If she's not ill and pulling a fast one she'll realise you're on to her and no longer willing to put up with her shit. Either way it's not fair on you and your family. I'd be furious to be paying for a service I wasn't getting.

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks Wed 25-Jun-14 09:39:34

Week off for anemia the week Glastonbury is on...

MrsLion Wed 25-Jun-14 10:59:56

Yanbu. She doesn't sound committed or reliable. I'd start looking for a new nanny.

Amateurish Wed 25-Jun-14 11:09:10

Just give her notice. Don't go down the disciplinary route, you will just muddy the waters. Just explain it's not working out for you, and that you are giving one month's notice (which you are perfectly entitled to do given her length of service).

glasgowstevenagain Wed 25-Jun-14 13:26:45

Go and visit her with a nice bunch of flowers smile

Just to make sure she is ok

Crowen85 Wed 25-Jun-14 14:14:39

Let's just say being a nanny can be very stressful it just depends on the parents. In my contract I get two weeks and my employers choose two weeks.

wombatcheese Wed 25-Jun-14 15:49:08

She is taking the piss. It's incredibly unlikely that she really was told to take a week off because she's anaemic. Iron tablets work slowly to increase levels over weeks. If she was seriously anaemic there would be an underlying cause and she would have not just been sent home with iron tablets.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Wed 25-Jun-14 16:27:19

Make a habit of occasionally phoning rather than texting, preferably from a number that can't be identified.
a) you'll know from the ring tone if the owner is overseas or not
b) if it rings with a UK tone and they answer, then they are not stranded overseas.....

Glastonbury is interesting timing but it's also possible that she found an unusually sympathetic GP. Moving to statutory, or only paying statutory in the first place [esp. since it can no longer be claimed back from the government] and extending a probation period for frequent illnesses or timekeeping issues is a lesson to learn for next time.

Personally I found that sitting down with my nanny and explaining the absence policies which applied to me, that it was holiday or unpaid absences and that my job was at risk was quite an effective tool. In my case though it was my nanny downing tools and leaving the country with no notice for an "emergency at home" which was not related to her immediate family.

Best of luck OP. Hope your FIL continues to improve.

All jobs are stressful if you are in the wrong one. I'd find being a nanny insanely stressful. That's why I am not a SAHM grin and have time to MN during the day.

HopefulMum111 Wed 25-Jun-14 16:52:23

I think you should have a chat with her about her health. Say you are worried about her time off and appointments. Maybe she has something wrong with her that is causing her sickness/anaemia. I am assuming you are talking about her year starting on 1 Jan and if so, 5 (or 12 after her week off) is a lot of sickness. Employers have a duty of care and bigger companies would be asking Occupational Health to look for any underlying issues. After you have had this chat, then you can reassess whether she is trying it on.

whatsonyourplate Wed 25-Jun-14 22:05:46

Perhaps you should check her Facebook page if she has one?

StephenManganiseverywhere Thu 26-Jun-14 08:16:29

Perhaps you should check her Facebook page if she has one?

Tempting, but I would not counsel this at all. That way madness lies. I am a small business employer and although I am chummy with all employees I have a cast iron policy of not being FB friends with them: too much of a hostage to fortune!

tryingtocatchthewind Thu 26-Jun-14 08:43:40

Definitely start sickness procedures with her. I had 4 separate days off in 6 months when my LO started nursery as I kept getting the sickness bug from him. It triggered a rule at work so I was hauled into a stage 1 disciplinary and explained I couldn't be sick again within the next two months otherwise it would be a stage 2.
They covered this by saying it was about getting occupational health involved but yes it was basically to scare me into not being sick!

bumpiesonamission Sun 29-Jun-14 14:46:20

Have you heard from your nanny? I think she sounds like a shirker tbh

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now