To think that our children aren't safe in general and we need to be super vigilant ?

(201 Posts)
cafebistro Tue 17-Jun-14 22:22:52

I don't think in being unreasonable or paranoid after today. My friend and I went into town on a shopping trip with our children. My dd is 4 years old and my friend dd is just a baby. We were walking through town and has to stop along with a crowd of other shoppers at a level crossing for a good 5 minutes. During this time I noticed a guy looking at my dd. No actually he was eyeing her up and down. I quietly said something to my friend and she said alarmed "he's leering at her". I kept her close , she was messing with her dress and I was frantically pulling it down. I kept checking and he was still doing it, staring. Anyway the level crossing was clear and we carried on walking into a shop. Then I noticed the guy had followed us in. A little while later I was looking at something on shelves and then quickly turned round and the guy was right behind me , he jumped as in shock and moved away.

I'm in shock. I know the guy didn't actually do anything but I think this is the first time I've ever felt that my child may have been under threat. I actually felt like saying to this man "what is your problem! If you come near my child again ...."

I honestly don't think I was being paranoid .

Singlesuzie Tue 17-Jun-14 22:39:30

I stare at children. I love them. They are adorable. I could watch them all day. I try not to as i know people take it personally and get all offended over nothing but i'm genuinely just reminiscing about when my dcs were smaller.

Rivercam Tue 17-Jun-14 22:39:32

Generally, children are safe, and most people are harmless. However, for what ever reason, this man made you feel uneasy, so you were probably right to rake appropriate action. If you want you take it further, ring 101 and speak to the police. However, most people are decent.

OpiesOldLady Tue 17-Jun-14 22:40:32

Jesus OP, you want to be having a word with yourself love.

cafebistro Tue 17-Jun-14 22:41:15

Silly string - an 'ordinary' guy doesn't spend 5 minutes staring at a little girl - as another poster has said , people aren't generally interested I other peoples children. It was the way he did.

Rideronthestorm Tue 17-Jun-14 22:41:37

The little voice is instinct and it is a good thing

No it isn't - it leads to innocent men getting thumped in the street because people spread baseless rumours.

Pipbin Tue 17-Jun-14 22:42:07

There are 100 reasons that he could have been looking at her. Just looking at her is not a crime. Standing is a shop is not a crime.
I understand why you felt this way, but you need to calm down.

usualsuspectt Tue 17-Jun-14 22:43:41

What would you say to the police? A man was looking at my DD?

FloozeyLoozey Tue 17-Jun-14 22:43:54

Wind up.

EatShitDerek Tue 17-Jun-14 22:43:55

If a woman was doing the same thing what would you feel?

Men can admire children. It doesn't mean they are 'leering'.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Tue 17-Jun-14 22:44:16

Just to add another perspective: I watch other people's children on train station platforms/level crossings/while crossing the road etc. All I'm doing is ensuring they don't do anything daft like step in front of a car. Similarly, if I see a young child upset and/or alone, I hang around to wait and see if their parent/carer is nearby. I couldn't just walk off and leave them like that. As an adult I consider these kinds of things a responsible thing to do and would hope other adults would do the same for my own dc.

Singlesuzie Tue 17-Jun-14 22:44:17

an 'ordinary' guy doesn't spend 5 minutes staring at a little girl

5 minutes solid staring and you didnt ask him what he was looking at? Doubt it.

More likely he glanced at her a few times because she was fidgetting and may he found her irritating or cute or whatever.

Elderflowergranita Tue 17-Jun-14 22:44:34

Massive over reaction. Please don't let your paranoia damage your children.

sillystring Tue 17-Jun-14 22:44:35

Stop projecting your silly prejudices onto people you don't know. If you're going to react like this when you're WITH your DD, how on earth are you going to function when she's out of your sight. Seriously, you'll make yourself ill and your DD will become as paranoid and judgemental as you about men.

FreeSpirit89 Tue 17-Jun-14 22:44:46

I think listen to your gut. He could have just been going the same way/shop as you. Lost in thoughts so not really learning at your dd.

But, he could have bin. Nothing happened, you kept her close and all is well.

FiveFingerDeathPunch Tue 17-Jun-14 22:45:02

maybe you should take a leaf out of MJ's book and make them wear masks

CoffeeTea103 Tue 17-Jun-14 22:45:05

Please don't phone the police and waste their time. confused

trappedinsuburbia Tue 17-Jun-14 22:45:49

Listen to your gut instinct.

Pipbin Tue 17-Jun-14 22:46:49

an 'ordinary' guy doesn't spend 5 minutes staring at a little girl
Maybe his daughter has the same dress and he was trying to work out why he recognised it. May be he was wondering how you had done her hair that day. Perhaps he was trying to work out what she was fiddling with. It could be that he was just idly staring, not at her but in her direction.

Don't let her fly unaccompanied on a plane if you feel this way in the street (reference to another thread).

BrianTheMole Tue 17-Jun-14 22:47:06

I think they are generally safe op, but yes we do need to be vigilant anyway. As you say, this is the first time you have felt like this, so it doesn't happen very often. Don't let it rule your life though. Most people are generally ok. Although I completely get why you feel like that right now.

And brokenhearted. don't flatter yourself. Really, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Have you any idea just how stupid that comment sounds???

Elderflowergranita Tue 17-Jun-14 22:47:23

Bloody hell - enough with the 'gut instinct' bs.

fledermaus Tue 17-Jun-14 22:47:48

Generally, our children are pretty safe when out and about.

However, you had a bad feeling about this particular man and you should always listen to that. You did the right thing to be vigilant in that situation, as anyone would.

I think anyone, even those saying you're being ridiculous, would actually be very careful if someone made them feel uncomfortable. It would be foolish not too.

AnyoneForTennis Tue 17-Jun-14 22:48:37

Did someone really suggest calling 101?

fledermaus Tue 17-Jun-14 22:49:04

We tell our children that is something makes them feel uncomfortable, they should listen to that. Why shouldn't adults do the same?

toodles Tue 17-Jun-14 22:49:11

I also think you should trust your instincts. If you felt something was wrong, it probably was. You don't think this about every man you encounter on the street when you're with your daughter do you? I think some posters here need to read The Gift of Fear.

sillystring Tue 17-Jun-14 22:50:17

Yes Tennis, someone did. Exactly what the OP was going to "report" beggars belief.

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