To rule someone out because of their size?

(150 Posts)
WendyBloomers Mon 16-Jun-14 18:59:22

So following on from a thread I posted yesterday about fancying Littlefinger from GoT, several posters mentioned he's a bit on the short side and I have to admit I was a bit 'ohhh that's a shame' I of course still fancy him but it did make me realise in real life this is a bit of an issue for me.

Anyways I'm about 5'8 so not exactly really tall but I'm self conscious of being taller than quite a lot of blokes, especially on a night out with heels where I'm probably pushing 6ft!

I'm single at the moment and the offers are not exactly flooding in (I'm a bit slow on the uptake mind, I never really notice someone's been flirting with me until afterwards) so am I being really unreasonable to count someone out just because they're shorter than me? There could be plenty of really lovely men out there that I'm missing just because of his height! Also, I think they wouldn't be interested in me anyways because I'm taller than them, or taller than them in heels at least.

Are there many others out there like me who abide by this silly rule that the woman shouldn't be taller than the man? And are there any of you who are taller than your SO and if so how do you both feel about it?

Please convince me it's just me being daft and I don't need to hang around the local basketball club to find a potential suitor..

TheFarceAndTheSpurious Mon 16-Jun-14 19:01:49

I'm five eight too, and sometimes get self conscious of height!

Recently however have just thought stuff it! I am my height, can't change it, I wear heels much more now.

They would need to be within tolerance!

LEMmingaround Mon 16-Jun-14 19:05:03

Id find it weird to be with a man shorter than me - but im only 5'2"

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Jun-14 19:06:50

I would definitely rule out being taller than the guy. A friend of mine is the same height as her dp but she hardly wears heels. They both feel a bit awkward when she does.

FreeSpirit89 Mon 16-Jun-14 19:09:24

I'm 5,7 and refuse to date men smaller than me.

Always been the same

kelper Mon 16-Jun-14 19:10:39

I'm 5'8" and my dh is only an inch taller than me, so i tower over him if I'm in heels. doesn't bother us, i pat him on the head ;)

ShakeYourTailFeathers Mon 16-Jun-14 19:11:46

I'm 5'8" too and went out with a lad the same height for a couple of years. Not good. He used to walk on kerbs so he was taller.

One of the reasons i chatted up DH was his height grin

Even in my highest heels DH is 4" taller than me. It's fab.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 16-Jun-14 19:11:48

I wouldn't date a man shorter than me. I did a woman shorter than me though.

FerrisBueller1972 Mon 16-Jun-14 19:13:55

I'm 6ft.
Still single...
There seems to be an ever increasing shortage of tall men over the age of 40.

KeepOnPloddingOn Mon 16-Jun-14 19:13:55

I am 5"7 and my dh is 6"2. I do not think there is anything wrong with you being taller than a bloke though. Me personally...? I like them taller- wether i am in heels or without ...

MiloSimpson Mon 16-Jun-14 19:14:45

I' 5'7" and once went on a date with a guy who was 5'5". I didn't wear heels and didn't really have an issue with the height difference (as it wasn't too great).

However, he constantly made comments about 'little blokes' -'So, you like a little bloke?', 'little blokes do (xyz) like this', 'little blokes are better than taller men' blah blah.

It wasn't the height difference that made me decline a second date but the fact he clearly had an issue/lack of confidence about it and mentioned it far too many times.

ouryve Mon 16-Jun-14 19:15:22

I did go out with a guy the same height as me (I was 5'5, back then, so not tall). I ditched him for other reasons, though.

Incapinka Mon 16-Jun-14 19:15:50

I went out with someone who is the same height as me and I ended up feeling quite butch compared to him which was ridiculous as I was far thinner than him. Wearing heels I towered over him.

DH is 7 inches taller than me (I am 5'11) and love feeling smaller.

However a friend of ours married her school boyfriend. She is over 6', he is 5'8 and they have now been married for 18 years.

babblingsofbecks Mon 16-Jun-14 19:16:05

DH is the same height as me (about 5'6"). I very rarely wear heels, which is the only time it feels a bit awkward. I have a slight build though so he still feels a lot bigger than me if that makes sense!

CrazyHorse Mon 16-Jun-14 19:16:31

I'm 5'6, so it's not really an issue for me, but I wouldn't date a man who is shorter or skinnier than me. I had to fatten DH up when I first met him

cardibach Mon 16-Jun-14 19:16:46

My friend is 6 foot. Her husband is about 5'7". Lucky she didn't judge on outward appearances...
It's incredibly shallow to rule someone out for their height, and incredibly silly to worry about being shorter than a man anyway - what do you think will happen? Is it because you think women should be all small and in need of protection from the big strong men? It is, isn't it? Even if you aren't aware of it, that's what it is.

KlokkenErOl Mon 16-Jun-14 19:18:08

You are not going to meet him in real life.
Gay
Married
Short
17 years old.

It makes no difference.

meditrina Mon 16-Jun-14 19:18:38

It's not a "rule", it's personal preference.

No NE is disadvantaged because I don't fancy them. It's not unfair discrimination that I prefer dark men to blonds, or muscly/fit to flabby, or firm round ass to flat one.

So OP, choose your men on the qualities you find attractive. Which may or may not involve baseball.

cardibach Mon 16-Jun-14 19:19:14

*taller, obviously

Bodicea Mon 16-Jun-14 19:19:45

I wouldn't have dated a man shorter than me at 5'3" but I would have considered someone just a few inches taller - so level in heels. However if I was a lot taller I would probably rethink those rules as the the pool of men would be a lot smaller.
There should be a law that us shorties don't nick the tall guys ;-)

hotfuzzra Mon 16-Jun-14 19:20:11

I don't think YABU, just shallow! ;-)
I'm 6'1" and have always made it a basic requirement that I only went out with tall men. Hence I had few boyfriends and was constantly looking for 'tall men'. Tall men is one thing, but tall men who are educated, gentlemen, into similar hobbies as me, and not up themselves is a tall order (HA)
I then relaxed this rule and met the love of my life, who is noticeably shorter than me. I never wear heels anyway so it's not an issue for me.
My friend is only 5'8" but also only goes for taller men. She's now 45. And single. Don't be afraid to compromise a little. Some men are in awe of taller women. Anyone who is judgey enough to not like you for being taller than them, or comment on a couple where the woman is taller, is, in my opinion, not worth the time.
Good luck shorty ;-)

KlokkenErOl Mon 16-Jun-14 19:21:18

Ps back in the real world , i think youd be mad to rule out a man you like because he is an inch or two shorter.

It is hard enough to find a man that is good company, kind, good humoured.......

MaryWestmacott Mon 16-Jun-14 19:21:54

I'm 5' tall, I don't know if I would rule out a man being shorter than me, but then because not many grown ups are shorter than me, it's never been an issue...

Helpys Mon 16-Jun-14 19:23:01

I've only had one boyf my height- I'm 5'6", and it was definitely part of the attraction, not a detraction.
Mind you I also find raddled not very fit older men rather attractive Ken Stott
My rule is to have incredibly high standards about kindness, interestingness be completely open minded about everything else.
(It's been 20+ years since I dated so that possibly disqualifies me. Or makes me very qualified. grin

WooWooOwl Mon 16-Jun-14 19:23:44

I wouldn't date a man that was shorter than me simply because I wouldn't find them attractive. It's not a case of 'ruling them out'. I did once date a man that was the same height as me, and it made me hate wearing heels, which were pretty much the only type of shoe I owned at the time.

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