To make a complaint to nursery about this......

(50 Posts)
AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:10:53

My DD (4yrs) started acting a bit odd on a night time recently. She couldn't go to sleep without her lamp on and the passage light on (she's normally fine with her lamp) and got very upset when it come to going to sleep because everything was too dark and she slowly became terrified (now we have monster away mist and half a dozen teddies on the bed to guard her as she sleeps too).
At first me and DH thought she might of seen something on tv that was playing on her mind or maybe someone had said something that has troubled her. It slowly got worse so we asked her key worker at nursery to have a talk with her (as we had already tried to talk to her about it all but she wouldn't tell us anything and would burst into tears).
While picking our DD up I spoke to a different member of staff and explained what was going on with DD and if the key worker had spoken to her.
The other member of staff casually said "oh that might be linked to the shed incident" - I had to ask for her to explain further as she wasn't willing too. She then explained to me how a group of the kids in DDs group were taking turns locking each other in the shed and they didn't let my DD out.
The member of staff had to and my DD was crying. When I pushed for answers e.g Why didn't you stop them? etc she brushed it off like I was making a big deal out of nothing. This has obviously affected her more than they thought as I mentioned it to DD when we got home and she told us she was really scared and she didn't want to go back to nursery. According to DD a girl locked her in on purpose. It wasn't a game.

I'm not really sure what I should do. It's not a school led nursery and she goes 3 afternoons a week 1pm-6pm. We are considering taking her out all together as this hasn't been the first time we have had an issue. AIBU to make a complaint? No one told me about this incident and DD has obviously took it all to heart. There is also the issue of them not allowing DD to have a drink of water during the day (which we have already complained about previously). Any advice would be great. Sorry this is sooo long.

DearGirl Sun 15-Jun-14 14:13:06

I would not be happy with children locking each other in a shed and I speak as a nursery nurse.

Speak to the manager about it.

I wouldn't keep my child there.

No water during the day
Locked in a shed, where was the supervision and why weren't you told about it.

AgentSchraeder Sun 15-Jun-14 14:13:43

YANBU! And they don't let her drink water?! WTH? No child should be allowed to lock another in a shed for goodness' sake, that's not a game and where the hell where the adults? I would have taken her out when she denied her water tbh, but this is ridiculous.

capsium Sun 15-Jun-14 14:16:27

Yes, I would make a complaint, if I were you. You are not happy about the way it was dealt with, or the way the children were supervised during the incident.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:17:57

They normally have water bottles and once they are empty they won't refill them. We made a complaint a few weeks ago about this. DD had come out of nursery saying she needed a drink and practically downed a bottle of water from the shop. The manager said it would change and it hasn't. I packed her extra bottles of water in the bag and was told it's against their policies. We were assured this would all change.
DH thought I was being a bit OTT about the shed thing but after last night, seeing how scared DD was he has changed his mind.

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure Sun 15-Jun-14 14:20:33

Christ on a bike, those are both awful things.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:21:38

I was sure I was being reasonable but the way the nursery staff member spoke and brushed it off like it was nothing made me question myself.

insancerre Sun 15-Jun-14 14:22:22

Ask for a meeting with the manager to find out why you were not informed and what they have done to stop children locking each other on the shed
Depending on the outcome of the meeting you have several alternatives
1 accept what the manager says and keep your daughter there
2 ask for the complaints policy -they have to have one its an ofsted requorement and make a written complaint and keep your daughter there
3 take your daughter out and report them to ofsted
As a nursery manager I would go straight for 3
No child should ever be denied a drink and where was the supervision if children were locked in sheds?
Ofsted would tale it very seriously. A child died in a nursery as she was left outside unsupervised

Pancakeflipper Sun 15-Jun-14 14:22:29

I would make an appointment to see the manager.

Children should not be locked in sheds.
The nursery should make provision of water and have regular drinking/snack breaks.

If they are on Ofsted view - do the survery on there and contact Ofsted. If they are chain contact the managers/directors.

thebodylovesspring Sun 15-Jun-14 14:25:43

Ay!!!!

When I was a cm it was an Ofsted requirement that children had access to fresh drinking water throughout the day. So they are breaking their requirements.

Who the hell was supposed to be watching them playing while they were locking each other in the shed?

Wouldn't leave my cat there. Definatly not.

Take her out and inform Ofsted why. Sounds awful.

MrsKCastle Sun 15-Jun-14 14:28:20

I would pull my daughter out straight away in that situation. The shed thing is seriously worrying. I'd be wondering if the staff had failed to notice it was happening (serious concern about supervision) or failed to intervene as soon as they became aware (serious lack of empathy- shouldn't be looking after children if this were the case).

The water thing is also horrendous.

Goldmandra Sun 15-Jun-14 14:28:55

What insancerre said.

Children have to have free access to drinking water. It's a requirement of all Early Years settings.

I would make a formal complaint on both counts and find a different setting ASAP.

ChessieFL Sun 15-Jun-14 14:30:48

Definitely complain. Lack of supervision re shed incident, and the children shouldn't be able to get into and lock the shed anyway. And denying a child water is appalling. You are not overreacting.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:32:33

If I pull DD out then she will be out of nursery until September when she starts a lovely new primary school. This isn't concerning me as she knows quite a lot and won't be missing out on the few months she has left. I'm a sahm so it wouldn't affect work etc.

ThrowAChickenInTheAir Sun 15-Jun-14 14:33:41

No water during the day?? shock Why on earth not? Either one of those issues though would be ringing alarm bells with me.

grobagsforever Sun 15-Jun-14 14:34:26

Oh my god. Poster up thread is right, that little girl that died at nursery did so because she was a wendy house out of sight. Withdraw her and report to OFSTED and police/social services

OhFFSWhatsWrongNow Sun 15-Jun-14 14:35:06

Op I work in a nursery and this is unacceptable!. They handled it appallingly and to be honest how were children able to lock other children in the shed? Either they weren't being supervised or staff members saw this going on and let them do this! Please, please, please don't let this go! Tell the manager you are not happy. Anything could have happened to a child in a locked shed.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 15-Jun-14 14:37:12

Take her out and report to Ofsted. Don't bother raising it with the nursery, let the Ofsted visit be a surprise.

The shed thing I could possibly get over, but the no water is outrageous.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:37:22

Does anyone know how long DD may be affected by this? It happened on Monday and every night since we have had tears, cuddles and nightmares. sad I know she will eventually grow out of this but I'm worried and I do think there is more to it.

MiscellaneousAssortment Sun 15-Jun-14 14:40:14

See the manager. These are bad things to happen, but what would worry me more is the dismissive attitude and not telling you, and how the water problem is not being resolved.

To me, that smacks of a nursery who's working culture is about hiding, avoiding and can't be arsed to deal with any changes, no matter how important.

lettertoherms Sun 15-Jun-14 14:40:50

I would pull her out.

I'm shocked you weren't told of the shed incident. And the fact it was allowed to happen, why did they have unsupervised access to a shed they could lock each other in?

The water thing is beyond unacceptable. I would report for this.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 15-Jun-14 14:41:39

I think you need to make sure you don't 'indulge' her fears. Comfort her of course, but teddies to guard her etc. is just reinforcing the idea there is something to be scared of.

She doesn't need guard teddies or monster mist or whatever because there are NO monsters. That's what you need to be telling her.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 14:42:59

Thats what I have been telling her Outraged. We had to use the other things to even get her to stay in her room alone.

Goldmandra Sun 15-Jun-14 14:43:31

I guess it depends how long she was locked in but you are unlikely to find out the truth about that. An Ofsted investigator may be able to give you some idea but you'll never really know.

It might help her to role play the situation with some dolls so she can understand what went on outside the shed while she was in there and grasp the idea that dark isn't bad, just a lack of sunshine.

She might need some reassurance that this can't happen when she starts school.

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