6 yr old being assaulted at school

(60 Posts)
Sickofthesnow Sun 15-Jun-14 13:36:39

Im not going to namechange as this will out me anyway to people I know but I'm past caring.

My 6 year old son is in Primary 2, and ever since he started Primary school he has had issues on and off with being bullied. He's a sensitive boy and not rough and tumble, which seems to make him a target as a lot of the other boys in his school are boisterous and quite rough.

So we had issues in P1, and we had meetings with head teacher etc as my son was crying scared to go to school at times and he was a nervous wreck sad Things would calm down, then it would slowly go back to namecalling, hitting on the fly etc.

This year (from August) a few new families moved to the school, and to be perfectly honest they're a nightmare. One family has a boy that is 5 who has been suspended a few times already, is violent, disruptive and generally a pain in the backside. The parents think it is funny (you hear them in playground laughing about it with others) I'm fully aware that families have their problems and we don't know what happens behind closed doors so we've always went down the route of going to school, putting in a complaint that son was hit, kicked, scratched etc.
Last few months there has been no consistency with the school as head teacher moved on and there is yet to be a head appointed, so the place is a bit chaotic. The teachers still lovely, staff friendly etc but the unruly kids seem to be taking over.
The violence has increased, and daily you can see a group of boys fighting in the playground before 9am! I mean kicking, punching, swearing. And this is 5,6,7 year olds.

Anyway, to get to the point my son was targeted by this group quite a few times this year and it got to the stage the boys weren't allowed out to play at lunch time or playtime as they were so violent. But the little one in P1 got hold of my son one day as he was going to the toilet during classtime, swore at him and kicked him in between the legs really hurting him. My son ended up with a huge bruise and I understandably told the school I was sick to the back teeth of it.

So the school promised to sort it out - how, I don't know - and for a few weeks things were quiet again.

Now it has been creeping up slowly and we've had enough. We've requested to local council to be moved to another school. We've visited the school, children love it, everything is so calm, much more staff and consistency and just seems better suited.
My OH has been very much "If one more thing happens to him I'm pulling him out of that school" for a few months now out of sheer annoyance at how upset our son is each morning about going to school.

Fast forward to Friday, he was pushed on the grass, hit a few times then kicked in the private area between his legs. By the same little P1.

We don't WANT our son back in that environment! School ends in 11 days (scotland) and my OH is very much saying he's NOT going.

So if you got this far THANK YOU. I know OH is NBU to feel this way but I feel it will put a bad impression on us at the new school if we tell the school that he's not coming in end of story! I fear we may end up with truancy officer etc but I'm at a complete loss.
What on earth can we do?! WIBU to just keep him off these last days of term and claim he is ill!?
Please don't flame me for the suggestion, I'm just one very tired, lost parent

DeepThought Sun 15-Jun-14 13:39:19

I would keep him home. I might even send a letter to school saying as they are failing to keep him safe he is being withdrawn for the final how many days.

Presume new school place is watertight?

There is no way on earth I would send my child in knowing he's going to be attacked like this.

I would keep him off, 11 days is nothing. The mental anguish your boy will go through for those 11 days could scar him for much longer than that.

Keep him off, I hope you and him are ok.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 15-Jun-14 13:40:33

My sister had a similar situation with my niece she home educated for 21 days. Inform the school that you will be home educating your son for 11 days till the end of the school year.

Objection Sun 15-Jun-14 13:40:38

I would put this all in writing, send it to the local council and the school. Contact SS about the boy (who may need help but also it needs to be down formally).
I would have a quiet meeting with the head of new school explaining the situation to ensure they know why he's not going in, just in case.

Don't send your son back in.

tripecity Sun 15-Jun-14 13:41:08

the school is unable to ensure the safety of its pupils. I wouldn't send my kids in under those circumstances. YANBU

londonrach Sun 15-Jun-14 13:41:34

Keep him off but send a letter so you don't get fined. The school is aware of the bullying.

RhondaJean Sun 15-Jun-14 13:41:44

I would not send him in. I would send a letter to th school and to the local authority head of education stating that this has been an ongoing issue which you have tried to work ŵith Thr school to resolve, however you are now concerned that they are unable to ensure your son is safe and will not be assaulted while in their care and that for this reason he will not be attending until he can start the new school. You would be grateful for any work he may miss to be sent home so that you can ensure he works through it.

I would be BALLISTIC by now as well, you have been very calm IMO!

cantbelievethisishppening Sun 15-Jun-14 13:42:47

I to would keep him home. This is completely unacceptable. While I accept it is impossible for staff to watch kids every minute they are in school to try and ensure safety, the level of bullying your son is being subjected to is dreadful.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 15-Jun-14 13:43:08

Keep him off. Does he definitely have a place at the new school?

Sickofthesnow Sun 15-Jun-14 13:44:20

Thank you for the replies.

The new school have basically told us how placing requests work and have said they have spaces for the children, they just need to go through the paperwork formalities.

The head who is covering half the week at the present school, is actually the long term head teacher of the new school.

If the places fell through somehow then there are 2 other schools within a reasonable enough range to get to that we would try for. ANYTHING but to stay at this school.

It has been really difficult as our other children absolutely love their present school and haven't had any issues and don't want to have to move so we held on to try let the school solve the problems but we have to put him first

mumteedum Sun 15-Jun-14 13:45:24

Not unreasonable at all. Poor little boy. If you've got new place confirmed then def wouldn't send him. I agree school have failed in duty of care.

If I was bullied at work including physical assault I would end up off sick from stress but we expect a 6yr old to cope? You do what you know is best for your boy and hope he'll be v happy at new school. Dreading my lovely boy starting school sad

DPotter Sun 15-Jun-14 13:46:02

This sounds really horrendous - your poor son.

You've done your best letting the school try to sort things out - clearly they have failed - big time. Frankly I wouldn't blame you if your never let your son cross their threshold again. Am I right in thinking he's not at the new school yet ? Is there any chance he could start there now ? If not I would advise the school & local council he will not be returning as they are unable to keep him safe. What can they do ?
I would also seriously consider bringing in the police as well as the school has lost control - however I recognise this is a major step which you may feel unable to take.

amy83firsttimer Sun 15-Jun-14 13:46:05

I think the home school for last 11 days idea is fabulous. Ask the form teacher what would actually be done on those days (probably not much anyway at end of term) and do the work with him. Good luck.

sashh Sun 15-Jun-14 13:50:52

Keep him home.

Send the school a stroppy letter telling them they have failed in their duty of care.

In fat call the new school and see if he can spend his last few days there. If not, and one of you is home make it a really special few days for him.

May09Bump Sun 15-Jun-14 13:51:36

You need to remove him from this straightaway and deal with the legal consequences after. His safety and wellbeing needs to come first.

You should go to the GP and get his injures noted, also detail how this is mentally affecting him. The GP might be able to give you a sick note covering the remaining days left. You can also state you are home schooling him until he starts the new school.

Given what he has already been through, maybe also talk to the GP about getting him referred to an educational psychologist. Maybe not needed - but he has been assaulted and may need help to express how he feels about the situation. Poor little guy - hope the new school is happy ending for you all.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv Sun 15-Jun-14 13:53:11

Your poor son. I'd keep him home. If I didn't feel safe sending my child anywhere they wouldn't go.

AmazingMorning Sun 15-Jun-14 13:54:50

YANBU. Your poor DS. Being kicked and hit like that is terrible. The school sound crap. I wouldn't be sending him back either.

halamadrid Sun 15-Jun-14 13:57:04

You need to remove him straight away and inform the police. Just because it happened in school does not mean you can't go to the police.

Hurr1cane Sun 15-Jun-14 13:59:46

You could go to the GP and they can give him a sick note if it is causing him stress and anxiety.

insancerre Sun 15-Jun-14 14:00:42

I agree with everyone else
Don't send him back
But make sure everything is documented ams recorded
The school has a duty of care and they have failed in thos

ProjectGainsborough Sun 15-Jun-14 14:01:13

Poor you and poor him. I second keeping him off and yes, if the GP can recommend a counsellor, I think that may be worth it as the whole thing sounds quite traumatic.

Would you consider complaining to Ofsted?

nothingtodotoday Sun 15-Jun-14 14:04:27

Ask for a placing request for the school you wish him to attend. If there is a space they will allow the move. They will not allow him out of area catchment if there is no room, ie they will need to employ another teacher if they let him in.

Visit the HT of the school you wish him to attend and discuss the issues with them.

Lesleythegiraffe Sun 15-Jun-14 14:06:12

Have you documented evidence of all the attacks? In my experience very little will done unless you have "proof" (including pics of bruises and injuries)

We had a very similar issue at my school with the head waffling on and doing nothing until the mum of one pupil wrote a letter to the LA saying that she would go to the police if her child was still being assaulted on a daily basis etc etc.

Amazingly it was all sorted out after that.

Really sorry about your little boy and hope you get it sorted out to your satisfaction.

Agggghast Sun 15-Jun-14 14:08:09

I would write a letter explaining why you are having to home ed and copy it to LEA/Chair of Govs and OFSTED. It might be too late to help your poor DS but it might help prevent the next victim being attacked.

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