To cancel Fathers Day plans because Dh got so pissed last night?

(237 Posts)

Dh went out with his mates last night at the working men's club: quiz, barbeque then England match. One of his mates was stopping over with us and it's been arranged for ages. Dd's & I were having a girly night.

Plan was to walk up to pub a few miles away for Sunday lunch (pub that has special family connections: my parents' wedding reception, our christening dos, my Mum's & more recently my Dad's wake). Thought it would be nice for dh & reminder of my dad too, who died 3 years ago this week.

Dh came to bed at around 5 this morning then woke me up at 5.30 pissing - yes, frickin PISSING- into my wardrobe onto my shoes, a load of my scarves & into his own shoe drawer. He was absolutely insensible.

I am beyond livid. He's lying here completely stinking. He woke up earlier to apologise & to clean the wardrobe out and asked if I would consider not being quite so judgmental as he hasn't got this pissed for many years. I told him to dream on. He obviously won't be able to drive today so I'll have to take his friend to the train station (god knows what state he's in too).

I really am not in the mood for a cosy Sunday lunch with him. The kids gave him his card & present and he managed to stay awake long enough to thank them. They didn't know we'd planned on Sunday lunch so they'd be no worse off.

I'm frickin FUMING.

ApocalypseThen Mon 16-Jun-14 15:23:30

The bit that annoyed me the most was the OP saying that her DH asked her to consider being not too judgemental because he hasn't got that pissed in 14 years. That suggests he isn't really that apologetic because he thinks as long as it doesn't happen very often it's not that big a deal.

That's what I'm really struggling with, too. It sounds like he's aggreived by this notion that that drunk and incoherent, causing damage to someone else's belongings is ok for a parent, and you'd have to be judgemental to object. So it's not a problem unless you're some kind of like, total square, man.

Also, not getting up with the kids, you'll just have to cope. Where are my #1 Dad presents?

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun Mon 16-Jun-14 15:51:11

Perhaps he was mortified and tried to shrug it off because of the shame he felt.

ApocalypseThen Mon 16-Jun-14 16:05:50

I don't know, maybe I'm particularly odd, but I don't think that's really good enough from an adult either. If you make a mistake and act like a child, at least take responsibility after the fact.

Needasilverlining Mon 16-Jun-14 20:42:27

OP,

Needasilverlining Mon 16-Jun-14 20:42:40

< DID OP

Needasilverlining Mon 16-Jun-14 20:43:12

OP, did he clean up? Have you lots of nice new shoes and scarves?

Needasilverlining Mon 16-Jun-14 20:43:23

M

Needasilverlining Mon 16-Jun-14 20:59:50

OP, did he clean up? Have you lots of nice new shoes and scarves?

AskBasil Mon 16-Jun-14 22:22:36

LOL SerenitySutton, I don't mind being a lone voice.

I really laughed at the idea that not being expected to piss on someone's clothes, is walking on eggshells and being subjected to abuse. Um, expecting your partner to behave normally, is not really abusive, is it? Come on now.

5madthings Mon 16-Jun-14 22:30:03

Fucking hell I am glad I don't live in a world where getting so drunk you piss in a wardrobe is normal behaviour!

I know no one who has got that drunk. Even if I or Dp have got drunk enough to puke (me once when I had post natal psychosis and was not coping) and Dp maybe twice when he drank on a hot day without having eaten; we have managed to puke in the toilet or in a bowl and have cleaned up ourselves.

I can't believe people want to minimise this kind if behaviour! And the poster that said her dh pissed in the babies cot and they joke about it?!! Wtf?!!

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Tue 17-Jun-14 09:59:35

I was fcking livid with my dp, too. I thought he went up to his mates house but he didn't, he wasn't there till the 2nd half, from 6 till the end of the 1st half he was at one friends house accross the road, which I would have gone to as it was a bbq, I didn't know. then He went up to his friends house, but she hates me and caused shit with us. As I got concerned as to where he was, I rang up asking where he was, and when I found out he was there I went fucking angry, angrier than I've ever been with him because of the shit she caused and playing me off against him is not "friend" in my books. I was upset. He then went back out for the 2nd half but came in at 3 even though I said don't be later than half 2. I got dressed up in a dress I bought from an adult shop one time, did my hair, makeup, and waited for him to come in. He went to the toilet, laid down and I know when he's had too much as he wouldn't move - he felt sick. 45 minutes later, he throws up all over the bed, and himself which I had to clean up. I sat and fucking cried while he was sleeping. I was gutted. The day after, we didn joke about it, and he apologised. We went out and got a new duvet and I did the bedroom for him. I only see him on weekends as we both work during the week and he lives with his parents, I live with mine. I hardly saw him at all due to him working evenings, then the match (went out at 6, came in at 3 ish) then sleeping till 11 when i was up all night, then i was off work and he went to work, came in, thenw ent to the shop with his mate. If he was 30, I'd expect more from him but he isn't, he's 20. It pissed me off so much. YANBU OP.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Tue 17-Jun-14 10:00:58

At least they apologised though.

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