To cancel Fathers Day plans because Dh got so pissed last night?

(237 Posts)

Dh went out with his mates last night at the working men's club: quiz, barbeque then England match. One of his mates was stopping over with us and it's been arranged for ages. Dd's & I were having a girly night.

Plan was to walk up to pub a few miles away for Sunday lunch (pub that has special family connections: my parents' wedding reception, our christening dos, my Mum's & more recently my Dad's wake). Thought it would be nice for dh & reminder of my dad too, who died 3 years ago this week.

Dh came to bed at around 5 this morning then woke me up at 5.30 pissing - yes, frickin PISSING- into my wardrobe onto my shoes, a load of my scarves & into his own shoe drawer. He was absolutely insensible.

I am beyond livid. He's lying here completely stinking. He woke up earlier to apologise & to clean the wardrobe out and asked if I would consider not being quite so judgmental as he hasn't got this pissed for many years. I told him to dream on. He obviously won't be able to drive today so I'll have to take his friend to the train station (god knows what state he's in too).

I really am not in the mood for a cosy Sunday lunch with him. The kids gave him his card & present and he managed to stay awake long enough to thank them. They didn't know we'd planned on Sunday lunch so they'd be no worse off.

I'm frickin FUMING.

I'd take the kids out to the pub and tell him to clean up before I got back.

YouTheCat Sun 15-Jun-14 10:21:49

I second taking the kids out and leaving him at home.

itsnothingoriginal Sun 15-Jun-14 10:22:48

Very annoying but I don't think you'll be alone in this today!! DH also came home wankered and is wandering around like a bear with a sore head today. I just keep telling him how well I feel today after my quiet evening in - will be enough to rub it in grin

Hope you manage to salvage your day and do something nice with the DC.

I do so hate it when they piss on your clothes though..

Itsjustmeagain Sun 15-Jun-14 10:23:21

I would go without him and leave his friend to find his own way to the train station - no need for any arguments but just leave him to his misery and dont let it ruin your day.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 15-Jun-14 10:23:24

Don't take the friend back he will puke in the car.

Take his credit card take you and the kids out for dinner and a film and shopping and tell dh either he cleans up or you will use his CC for staying in a hotel til he does!

Dh came to bed at around 5 this morning then woke me up at 5.30 pissing - yes, frickin PISSING- into my wardrobe onto my shoes, a load of my scarves & into his own shoe drawer. He was absolutely insensible.

Has he done this before? If he was going to piss on anyone's shoes! it should have at least been his own! shock

YANBU. Go out with the kids somewhere next. No sex tonight ever.

LIZS Sun 15-Jun-14 10:24:07

Vile . Go out , "friend" can get a cab and tell him you expect everything shipshape for your return.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sun 15-Jun-14 10:24:45

Was he aware of this plan? I'd be fuming if he did and still went ahead and got so bombed and was unable to do anything today.

I'd leave him to stew and go to the pub with the kids.

ToAvoidConversation Sun 15-Jun-14 10:24:46

Sounds like he's sorry. He obviously knows he's done wrong. Take the kids out for lunch and leave him in bed. His hangover won't magic away and you can talk when he is stone cold sober.

We all make mistakes.

Rideronthestorm Sun 15-Jun-14 10:25:08

Go out with the DCs and forget the mate and your DH. Let them stew.

ParadoxicalUndressing Sun 15-Jun-14 10:25:13

Christ. Yanbu. I don't think you can carry on with any real normality until he's sobered up and you've had a discussion. No point sweeping it under the rug for the sake of a Sunday lunch that HE'S messed up.

You should certainly take yourself off somewhere nice for your father, though. Perhaps he can have some alone time with the children...

CrystalSkulls Sun 15-Jun-14 10:25:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Georgethesecond Sun 15-Jun-14 10:25:42

If the kids don't know, then yes I'd cancel it. You won't enjoy it and neither will he. And yes I'd be fuming.

ParadoxicalUndressing Sun 15-Jun-14 10:26:08

Or what the others said - take the children!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sun 15-Jun-14 10:26:19

Agree with LIZS friend can get a cab.

DrDre Sun 15-Jun-14 10:26:57

I have to say even when I've been paralytic I've managed to piss in the toilet.

specialsubject Sun 15-Jun-14 10:31:24

so drunk that he urinates in the wardrobe?

wow. I almost hope that his drink was spiked. To swill to this level is beyond disgusting.

BeeBlanket Sun 15-Jun-14 10:31:52

I do so hate it when they piss on your clothes though..

Is this NORMAL!? This isn't the first time I've seen on MN about men getting drunk and pissing in wardrobes/corners of rooms but HOW the hell? If you can get up and go over to the wardrobe, why can't you go to the toilet???

I would be so appalled at this. It makes me a lot more grateful for my DP! (Who gets grumped at for forgetting to do the dishes) If he pissed on my clothes... I don't know how I could live with him.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sun 15-Jun-14 10:33:53

Eeewww dirty devil. Wouldn't drive matey round to the station in my car. Take your DCs out for lunch as planned no need to land yourself with cooking for them. DH can fix himself something when he's back on planet Earth.

Thanks. I don't think I'm being that mean to be honest. If it's that hungover he won't enjoy or appreciate a Sunday lunch. And yes, he knew we were going to go out. I really have no issue with any if it - I knew they'd both be bladders - but he was BEYOND drunk. He's a grown man: he knew when to stop and he ignored it.

I think I'll leave them both to it; take the kids out to lunch then see him when we get back. I've got lots of work to do this afternoon so can't really stay out all day. Thanks for words of support / reason. Helps when you can't see through a veil of fury.

I do so hate it when they piss on your clothes though

You say that like it's a regular occurrence

For context: he hasn't got this drunk since we first got together, about 14 years ago. That incident nearly caused a cancellation of the wedding! He gets drunk but usually to a level of buffoonery and never this paralytic.

He will be shamefaced later on. Completely mortified.

Tinkerball Sun 15-Jun-14 10:39:57

Why on earth should you have to drive friend, hes a grown man and so is your DH! I was going to say YABU at the start (everyone can get pissed) until I read the peeing in the wardrobe - eeewww!! How can that happen, I to have read it here!

DoJo Sun 15-Jun-14 10:40:11

I think you need to decide what he can do to make this up to you - there's no point being indefinitely angry in the wake of his apology and attempts to make amends, although I can completely understand why you don't feel as though you want to share a special day with him! Maybe use your lunch time to think of what you want from him and give him a chance to get back into your good books.

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